Would you resent a colleague who has this ‘privilege’

[Resentedpumpkin]

Which is actually a reasonable adjustment?

Asd and adhd plus ME - I’m needing more and more breaks due to ASD and avoiding shutdown. It’s been agreed on my return after 2 weeks off (shutdown and selective mutism) . So now when it gets too much I’m able to log off (if WFH) or leave my desk for up to 30 mins as many times as needed per day.

it’s been once or twice a day but yesterday happened 4 times (10 mins, 30 mins, 25 mins and 5 mins)

Had some sarcastic and off remarks about it from others and now just feeling shit and embarrassed. Everyone is aware of my conditions so it’s not like they don’t know

Maybe when the OP is at her desk, she is much more productive than some of her whining colleagues?

OP you do NOT have to see it from anyone else's view, or justify yourself to anyone, or make time up, or cut your hours to please other people.

Doesn't matter if your colleagues are unhappy, they need to keep their mouths shut or they'll be hauled over the coals for harassment and discrimination.

Do not put up with it and report every single comment that comes your way.

As for some of the comments on this post, wow, there are some really awful people out there!

None of the above is relevant. If these accommodations have been offered by the OPs employer in consultation with HR/occupational therapy, and impact on individual productivity and wellbeing is being reviewed in 8 weeks, it is nobody else’s business. If the work colleague has an issue, they should speak to their line manager rather than do the passive aggressive bullying.

I think this is the key thing really. I’ve worked somewhere before when somebody had an adjustment made and it meant that we all had to pick up their excess workload whilst they still got paid full time. Nobody ever said anything but there was a low level resentment that bubbled away for a long time. However it was really up to us to speak to management / HR and nobody would bite the bullet and do it so it festered on.

I have a feeling OP isn’t replying because it does in some way affect her colleagues, however they really to speak to HR about this because someone higher up the chain has perhaps given this the sign off without really thinking it through.

Is this colleague paid the same rate as you?

I wouldn't resent it, and I would definitely know better than to make snarky comments about it. I probably wouldn't even notice someone being away from their desk.

You complete lack of empathy and ignorance is shining through on this thread.

Cool, thanks for the tip! I will give it a try.

I'm so sorry OP, some of the comments on here are horrible and completely ableist. I would be very interested to know how much work you do compared to your colleagues on a typical day - I'd be willing to bet that there probably isn't much difference because they'll be chatting/ making endless cups of tea/sneaking out for fag/vape breaks etc etc etc. whereas you'll be more focussed.

If they are having to pick up more work, then that's a management issue - but they're still having to pick up less than if you were completely off sick instead of having reasonable adjustments to allow you to return to work.

It might be worth thinking of some of the sensible suggestions I've seen - eg a phased return, or taking regular short breaks to try and prevent you getting to the stage where you have to stop for 30 minutes.

I also don't think that one bad day means that the adjustments aren't working - it's just one bad day.

Good luck

No, of course she hasn't. But she's in a job that she's struggled for four years to accomplish on a daily basis and is now in this unfortunate situation, which is stressing her out even more.

Is it time to look for a different job that might suit your strengths better, OP? One that won't have the degree of stress you're currently facing? One, perhaps, where. you work on your own, at your own speed and not as part of a team that needs you to be able to communicate verbally or take calls or participate in on-line meetings? I've got a friend who works in HR from home and complains that no one ever phones and her entire day is spent doing paperwork, doing security checks etc and filling in forms. These jobs do exist.

Wow! Some disgusting, ableist comments here. Sorry you have to experience this at work OP and I’m sorry you’re having to read some of these vile comments.

The OP has disabilities - it’s between her and her employer how they decide to manage this and for now they’ve agreed a short term plan to see if this helps. It’s a job for management to decide if it’s working, it absolutely isn’t the job of a disabled, unwell employee to figure out how to make that all work. Management may decide after the 8 weeks that it doesn’t work and the onus is on them and OH to discuss further with input from OP.

I wonder if people would be saying this if the OP was terminally ill for example or had any number of visible disabilities eg if the OP was registered blind and needed these breaks away from her screen to rest her eyes, would people be saying the same? I don’t think so. Wouldn’t you all prefer someone to be at work and doing a bit of work, rather than off completely and doing no work at all? Surely that would be impacting your workloads more?!

OP - the comments being made in your team are discriminatory at best and it sounds like you’re being bullied. I would absolutely be keeping a log and reporting this. To answer your question, no I wouldn’t resent you at all, I’d be really sorry that you were so unwell. I would also consider going back off work - it sounds like you’ve gone back too soon and are trying to force yourself to be well, which isn’t good for anyone.

Best of luck with it; it’s not easy being disabled and trying to work but it sounds like your management team at least are being understanding.

Jfc I hope no disabled people ever have the misfortune of working with you.

She asked how we would feel about it.

Attitudes like yours are the reason autistic people have a lower life expectancy. I can't even express how disgusting your comment is.

Yes

Honestly yes. As someone with ASD and ADHD. It’s reasonable to have breaks but are you making that time up later? There comes a point where disability means you cannot do your job and that volume of breaks in a working day for that length sounds like it’s edging there.

I don't think that people seem to be understanding that the OP is selective mute and what that actually means.

Selective doesn't mean she has any kid of choice when she can't speak, it means it happens in certain circumstances, generally when the person is overtaken by anxiety. The OP then literally can't speak, her voice just can't come out - so the call or meeting can't progress if she can't speak and so she then has to decompress and wait for the anxiety to dissipate. The really terrible thing is that people making nasty, snide comments are only going to increase her anxiety and so are likely to actually be making her selective mutism even worse - and her need for the breaks that they so resent will increase too.

I think this has been handled really badly OP. Things have happened too fast. You really needed to start with half days a couple of times a week and build up much more slowly. You probably needed more time off to start with tbh. The team need speaking to - if you'd been off two weeks for cancer treatment and needed breaks to be able to cope would they be giving you a hard time then? Would they be coming after you to make up the hours? I doubt it very much - and that is what ND people are up against, they are seen as a problem. How many people on here have told the OP they're not fit for the job? Would they say that you someone with cancer who needed breaks?

Are you getting any help for the selective mutism OP? CBT can be helpful I believe, along with anti depressants for anxiety. I think you should message your manager to say that your anxiety has gone through the roof due to team mates making nasty comments and your selective mutism is getting worse as a result and you need to sign back off. Does your company offer anything like counselling that might help while you are off?

Maybe you also need to consider changing jobs OP. This doesn't sound like a caring place to work - I know my work mates would not react like yours have. Some people can't stand for anyone to have anything that they don't, no matter the reason. The manager doesn't seem to have handled this well either. Do you love your job? If not then maybe this is your bodies way of telling you that it's time to find somewhere better to work.

It will build resentment, if you can’t do the job anymore you need to look for something else or you’ll end up being performance managed out.

It really depends on your role in the company and how your work fits in with your colleagues. If these episodes come on with no warning then it is hard for your work colleagues to plan meetings that you should be part of. Also what happens at the end of the 8 weeks? Surely you may or may not have made a complete recovery.

If you are entitled to a 60 minute lunch break are you still taking that or is that classed as part of the 70 minutes, meaning you are taking 10 minutes extra than your colleagues?

As much as I appreciate why it’s a reasonable adjustment, I’d still be annoyed if I were a colleague being paid the same as someone who does less work, and would probably raise it during my 1-1 with our shared manager.

If you were required to make the time up elsewhere it wouldn’t be an issue.

@ItAintGonnaGoDownEasyIfItAintCheezy yes, I know; I was responding to someone who said she should be considering the impact on her colleagues.

Registered blind people aren’t looking at screens.

If you can't do the job with reasonable adjustments you can't do the job. This is true.

The review is in 6 weeks and it’s only been 1-2 times a day but yesterday wasn’t great at all I think because of it being the weekend and it was just overwhelming. I’m hoping it was a one off blip and it will revert back to once or twice a day and decrease