Would you resent a colleague who has this ‘privilege’

[Resentedpumpkin]

Which is actually a reasonable adjustment?

Asd and adhd plus ME - I’m needing more and more breaks due to ASD and avoiding shutdown. It’s been agreed on my return after 2 weeks off (shutdown and selective mutism) . So now when it gets too much I’m able to log off (if WFH) or leave my desk for up to 30 mins as many times as needed per day.

it’s been once or twice a day but yesterday happened 4 times (10 mins, 30 mins, 25 mins and 5 mins)

Had some sarcastic and off remarks about it from others and now just feeling shit and embarrassed. Everyone is aware of my conditions so it’s not like they don’t know

That is for her employers to decide. Absolutely nothing to do with her coworkers

You are refusing to answer how this affects your colleagues so no one can really answer.

If someone I worked with did this, and it didn't affect me or my work I wouldn't really care.

If it did affect me/my work/output I wouldn't really be impressed to be brutally honest.

I wouldn't be happy that my work and productivity was affected.

Absolutely this ^

for the love of god @Resentedpumpkin do not listen to the bitchy comments on this thread. They are the last thing you need to be taking onboard. Pay attention to the sensible ones and just wait to review your situation at the allotted time. In the meantime you either ignore the colleagues comments or ask your line manager to intervene as necessary.

I understood 'selective mutism' to be a choice, ie. you decided when and where you will or won't speak.

Apologies if I got it wrong.

In my job no one would even notice. And in the past OH recommended that I should be allowed to take breaks to cope with my mental health. The only people that knew were my managers. I’m sorry your colleagues and people on here have been so mean.

it’s a reasonable adjustment that allows you to work. That’s it! Ignore those making comments, this is between your managers and OH if involved.

No one needs to express milk 4 times in 8 hours. Do these form part of your " natural breaks" eg: maybe 10 mins in the morning to make a cuppa, 30 mins at lunchtime and ? 20 mins in the afternoon if working beyond 4ish ?

I can understand this point, however there is a massive difference in terms of impact on colleagues (if OP leaving her desk does actually directly affect colleagues workload) between popping to the toilet and leaving your desk for 30 minutes at a time, possibly multiple times per day. I’m currently pregnant and my bladder definitely isn’t what it used to be, but I certainly don’t spend anywhere near 1 hour 10 mins more than my colleagues using the toilet.

It’s absolutely not okay for colleagues to be making comments to OP directly, but if OP leaving the desk for 70 mins in a day means another colleague is doing extra work, then that is something that management needs to address. A reasonable adjustment should be just that, it shouldn’t be putting extra pressure on other colleagues who aren’t being paid any extra, who may well be struggling themselves. At the point it does, I don’t think her colleagues are unreasonable to be moaning about the effect on them personally (not moaning about OP, but if I was being expected to pick up someone else’s work for 2 months for no extra pay I’m probably not going to be happy about it) so I think it would be worth just taking all of this to management.

In your no doubt expert opinion!!!!!

There are some truly nasty and discriminatory posts on this thread!!

Some of you should hang your heads in shame and be grateful that you don't need RAs!!

It's absolutely not her responsibility to consider how her disability affects her colleagues. That's what management is for.

I think the more critical problem is that this adjustment isn’t working for you. It’s not reasonable for you, or for your team.

It sounds to me as though you needed a phased re-entry into work, ramping up your hours rather than taking breaks as/when.

I don’t think anyone would feel anything if you’d returned from sick leave on a part-time basis with a view to going FT if you could (and being paid commensurately, of course). But the expectation has been set out that you are there FT now, which you can’t manage.

Other people’s comments aren’t the problem. You’re just not ready to go back FT, is the point.

You can click the bit at the top and hide the thread.

I'm on desktop, not sure if you do it the same way on the app.

So many nasty, ignorant, comments here.

I would gladly support you in your need to look after yourself and be well.

Lucky lucky people if they have never experienced a bad day/week/month where they have needed to slow down a little.

Take good care OP.

And no, selective mutism isn't a choice. Who would make such a choice?! Give me strength.

OP I don’t agree at all with your colleagues making sarcastic comments, but can I ask if this new working pattern means that some of your workload is now going to your colleagues? This is the only reason I can think of for them acting this way. If your workload is your own to manage and take responsibility for then this is really nobodies business how you manage your time.

I absolutely would not resent anyone who is struggling with ASD/ADHD, I'm shocked how many people are saying they would be, crazy lack of empathy.

I'm a colleague in this situation, sort of. I'm working with a neurodiverse colleague who struggles to complete the most basic tasks. I have to just come along and mop up the messes that she leaves (metaphorically) and do the work that she can't do. I am happy to support any colleague to have their needs met, but it doesn't actually equate to her being able to fulfil her duties in even a similar way to the rest of the team.

It's incredibly draining. She frequently acknowledges the fact that she is in the wrong job and yet continues to do it.
The concept of 'rights' is on the flip side of 'responsibilities' and the two should go hand in hand. My colleague takes advantage of all of her rights but doesn't seem very keen on performing her job to the required standard. It's really difficult for the rest of us on the team who really strive for excellence and do our best to go above and beyond. She performs to what I can only describe as a passable standard, on a good day, and I think that's her on 100%.

It's difficult. I'm sorry.

I wouldn’t resent it, or even notice. I’m fortunate to have an enlightened employer who is outcome focused so it makes not a jot of difference who works where and when as long as the job gets done.

the employment stats on people with ASD are horrifying and one of the things that scares me most having a daughter with ASD.

That in this day and age people are so focused on who spent what time at their desk beggars belief. We should be better than this. I wish you well OP but stand up for yourself and the adjustments that mean you can do your job.

It's not reasonable for all of your colleagues to know your medical conditions. None of their business.

but can I ask if this new working pattern means that some of your workload is now going to your colleagues?

You can ask, but the OP simply will not answer this question.

Either way, the staff need to speak to management if it does affect them as it's not down to the OP to sort.

Maybe you have had really positive experiences with this. I went into my particular situation incredibly positive and open minded and it's just not working. What was it about your situation working with a colleague with ASD/ADHD do you think made it work successfully?

Another thought, if this was being managed properly, your triggers would be managed better so you can work effectively without shutting down and needing loads of breaks. So different workload, environment, tasks, or whatever.

Just giving reasonable adjustments in response to problems is a poor solution. It's like giving paracetamol for backache instead of sending them on a lifting course or getting equipment to help them lift.

No of course it’s not OP’s responsibility to consider how this affects her colleagues. However OP has specifically asked how WE would feel about this if we were her colleagues, and the answer to that depends on how it affects them.

For example my job, it would make no difference at all to me because my colleagues and I do not share case loads so them leaving for half an hour would have no impact on my day. I wouldn’t be taking on any of OP’s work, so I wouldn’t think anything of it and probably wouldn’t even notice.

HOWEVER if you work on a team with a shared workload, and you leaving your desk for that time means I am taking your calls/meetings for you, or means I am having to do extra work or extra time to make up for OP not being there, then I can see why colleagues wouldn’t be happy about it.

I would not and do not resent anybody who has to have RA in order to work. I have many colleagues who have reasonable adjustments. Some can’t do certain tasks, some have special equipment that nobody else can use. Some have no reasonable adjustments but are just quite slow at working.
I am quiet and a quick, efficient worker. This means I can get more done in a day than many of my colleagues. I’m absolutely fine with this and I would have no problem picking up the slack to enable a colleague who needs it to have extra breaks.
I like working in a diverse and inclusive team.

It wouldn't bother me unless it significantly added to my own workload indefinitely (8 weeks would be too long to have extra work constantly). Maybe the manager needs to make sure your colleagues aren't significantly impacted from a workload perspective - otherwise no-one's business.