Would you resent a colleague who has this ‘privilege’

[Resentedpumpkin]

Which is actually a reasonable adjustment?

Asd and adhd plus ME - I’m needing more and more breaks due to ASD and avoiding shutdown. It’s been agreed on my return after 2 weeks off (shutdown and selective mutism) . So now when it gets too much I’m able to log off (if WFH) or leave my desk for up to 30 mins as many times as needed per day.

it’s been once or twice a day but yesterday happened 4 times (10 mins, 30 mins, 25 mins and 5 mins)

Had some sarcastic and off remarks about it from others and now just feeling shit and embarrassed. Everyone is aware of my conditions so it’s not like they don’t know

I think we all know why the OP hasn’t answered the questions about whether she makes the time back or whether she just works fewer hours than her colleagues

This one was answered, user1471447924

At 16.54 - only their third post I think - they said "No as was told it’s not necessary as that then adds to my stress"

Fuck me this was an eyeopening read! People have been utter cunts to the poor OP, I despair at the human race reading utter nastiness like this thread!

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia rather partial to waffling on about Bingo aren’t you?! 😂

There are a lot of people on this thread who really don't understand reasonable adjustments, and I'm appalled.

No OP, I wouldn't resent you at all. If it impacted my workload, it would be no different than the million other things that can impact my workload. I wouldn't be jealous of you "getting more breaks" or doing less work than me because I recognise that it's harder for you to do the same job.

Well there should be absolutely no sarcastic/rude remarks, that is wrong. If colleagues feel that the workload is affected by your needs, that they are having additional pressures and difficulties due to your breaks then the factually log the incidents and take it up in their supervison with line management, purely noting the changes and needs, not just having a dig

Did you read the first line? "what do you do and where do you go?" Wanting to police what the OP does to reset after a lockup. There's a suggestion that OP might do something 😱unreasonable during these reset breaks. Who knows what "unreasonable" might be...

FFS if she resets successfully then it's no one else's business.

How harsh are you?! Do you know anything about selective mutism? It's debilitating, for one.

I returned on a phased return after an operation. Reasonable adjustments were made, less hours worked but still paid the same. I am now back 2 years with 100% attendance, the only one in the whole staff.
Alternatively I could have stayed off work, received full salary sick pay and returned later. Either way I would be doing less work than my colleagues.

Some of these comments are extremely harsh, I really hope none of you require adjustments made because I bet then you would be expecting the same pay etc.

Again. Not that OP is actually answering.

But the answers can help a poster develop their opinion

Then the issue is with how the adjustment is being managed with the wider team, not the OP herself.

You're being incredibly dismissive of the conditions and difficulties that some people face and cannot reasonably control. If someone has ASD and autistic burnout and one of the symptoms of that is selective mutism-beyond taking a break and getting herself together-would you suggest she do?

I can absolutely understand why some colleagues may feel resentful, especially if these breaks add to their workload-however, this is for the management to address and make sure the workload is adjusted to accommodate the extra breaks to a reasonable degree.

It's for them to ensure that this doesn't cause undue stress or other colleagues to be overworked to pick up the slack. Not for OP to stifle her condition (which she's already been doing and has possibly contributed to this situation in the first place) and just muddle through, regardless of whether she's capable or not leading to further problems down the line.

Honestly- a bit of compassion and empathy wouldn't go amiss.

but completely relevant to ask what she does

for example…. call handle 999 calls and suddenly has selective mutism in the middle of calls and 30 minute breaks

you honestly think this isn’t relevant?? PC gone utterly crazy if you do.

This, with bells on.

I wouldn’t be resentful either OP and I’m sorry people are giving you a hard time on here. The reason I asked what you did is because I WFH and it’s very flexible and if I’m having a shit day I am able to just block out my calendar and go and lie down. So I would never need to ask for these “reasonable adjustments” or make a deal of it or have my colleagues ever even know if I needed a break as I get my work done when it needs to be done. I also can’t really be late to work as it’s flexi time - which works well for me! Maybe you need to hunt for a role with more inbuilt flexibility like this? So you’re able to just manage your own time?

Your employer has made this decision to help you. It’s your responsibility to take what help you need to keep you functioning. You don’t sound like the type of person who takes advantage so ignore any negative vibes you’re getting from colleagues.

I imagine plenty of your colleagues spend a similar amount of time on social chit chat or checking personal phones anyway. Which is just a more ‘socially acceptable’ way to decompress during the day.

Try not to let the negative comments on this thread make you more stressed. Just re-assess where you are at the end of the 8 weeks. 💐

Are you not familiar with bingo card memes as a means of satirising predictable behaviours?

Here's a Trump bingo card by way of example.

This is actually not true.

This exactly

I wouldn't feel resentment unless I found out we were being paid the same. Then I would say I'm not picking up any extra work and that if OP is on reduced hours at same pay then I expect my pay to be reviewed. Because while I couldn't care less about others lives, I'm there to work nothing else, I won't be paid less than someone working less.

So you think disabled people should be paid less than able people? What if someone works a bit faster than you- should they get paid more than you?

When OP is away from her desk grounding herself, she isn't on a jolly. She isn't home at her leisure. It takes her a bit of time to pull herself together. Hopefully over time it will take less.

As you aren’t making the time up then no it’s not reasonable. If you have a sick note saying to reduce hours then yes seems reasonable but only for the duration of the sick note not as a permanent reasonable adjustment because it isn’t reasonable that you work less hours.

I also have autism and ME and have a similar arrangement but the difference that I think makes mine reasonable is that I make up the hours.

So instead of working the standard 9-5 with 1 hour lunch I work 9-6 with breaks of 30 mins AM, 1 hour lunch, 30 mins PM. I sometimes split a 30 min break into 2 x 15 minute breaks if I have a lot of meetings, so that I don’t work more than 2.5 hrs at a time. I schedule my breaks in my calendar so that the team know when I’m available, if I need a break a bit earlier and no one needs me then I will just move it in the calendar and go early.

I think you’re perfectly able to have an adjustment to hell you do your job. But on the whole most colleagues aren’t that supportive, and we have been covering this on disability calls so colleagues can be more understanding. On the whole, colleague are not supportive and see it as them having to pick up more work. But perhaps one day they might need a bit of help too.

People have no idea how disabling some conditions are and how much support people might need to enter and stay in the work place.

I used to work with someone who had BPD. It's an illness I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

But the problem was that he couldn't take on a full workload. Yet he was paid a full salary, and so our department (publicly funded/university) couldn't buy in extra resource to cover what he wasn't doing.

It was down to the rest of us to carry the 25% of his job he wasn't doing, plus do all the things that would normally be done by a colleague, but if he were down to do those things, they just wouldn't be done. On the crucial day, he'd be ill with a cold, or a stomach bug, o whatever.

I get it, sometimes he just couldn't cope. But my poor manager, trying to manage him into a workload he could do - she was threatened with a grievance & legal action re breaking the Disabilities legislation. It was a mess, and the whole thing relied on the rest of us being healthy enough to pick up the load. It was a shit situation.

what i think is that this particular role sounds as though it is simply
not appropriate for the OP. indeed she has made no connections in 4 years. why? she has described herself as too knackered and post work simply has to go home and conserve energy

does that sound like an appropriate job for the OP? does that sound like an enjoyable way to live? for the op’s sake the job simply does not sound suited to her

I think people should be paid for the work they do.....I know madness.

Why do you think OP should be paid more than her colleagues?

My post above didn't bold the quote--the first paragraph is not what I think!