Would you resent a colleague who has this ‘privilege’

[Resentedpumpkin]

Which is actually a reasonable adjustment?

Asd and adhd plus ME - I’m needing more and more breaks due to ASD and avoiding shutdown. It’s been agreed on my return after 2 weeks off (shutdown and selective mutism) . So now when it gets too much I’m able to log off (if WFH) or leave my desk for up to 30 mins as many times as needed per day.

it’s been once or twice a day but yesterday happened 4 times (10 mins, 30 mins, 25 mins and 5 mins)

Had some sarcastic and off remarks about it from others and now just feeling shit and embarrassed. Everyone is aware of my conditions so it’s not like they don’t know

I would resent any colleague who worked less than me, or acheived less than me at work, and was at a similar level on similar pay.

I would try NOT to share my resentment with the colleague in question, if that person was genuinely disabled or suffering physical or mental illness.

I would really resent staying late if I was doing so in part because one person on the team had 4 hours off per day.

A big part of me thinks that if you can't get through a working day you need more time off to try to put your problems behind you? Is there not a risk that you are dragging your problems out by trying to work when you're not ready?

OMG how dare she stop to eat like everyone else? FFS.

I'm going to go through this thread and see how many squares I can fill on my disablism bingo card.

The issue is twofold.

You are right to seek a reasonable adjustment and it is right and fair that your employer has granted you it and I hope that you are able to benefit from it, and it helps settle things.

It also needs to be managed well within the business/team so it doesn't negatively impact the work or the rest of the team. This may mean adjusting the workloads to suit and be manageable for everyone.

However, the issue of them making the remarks is absolutely not on. If they have a concern/issue, this should be discussed with and addressed by the manager. You shouldn't be receiving that.

If you really don't understand what it's like to not be able to 'get on with it' then you're in an extremely privileged position and I truly hope you never experience what it is like. I was always the one 'just getting on with it' until I couldn't anymore. When even your DC needing you isn't enough for you to be able to carry on you realise you're in real trouble.

Reasonable adjustments aren't special treatment. And the reason you didn't ask for this 'special treatment'? Because really you knew you were ok and could carry on managing and had no reason to expect reasonable adjustments. And that is a very fortunate position to be in and I hope you appreciate it.

It's pretty disgusting that you have to endure a workplace culture that a temporary adjustment to help manage your wellbeing with 3 diagnosed conditions is considered privilege.

I'd be speaking to HR and your manager about that and what they will do to prevent it impacting you further.

It isn't your issue whether there is an impact to colleagues or workloads. That's for your manager to manage. As well as the people it impacts.

Your focus is that you have a right to work and a right for reasonable adjustments short or long term that help keep you in the workplace successfully.

Fuck anyone else that thinks otherwise.

Can I add

Does it affect your colleagues workload?

If the OP continues to refuse to answer these questions, it make me wonder what the point of the thread is.

It depends I think on whether your colleagues felt you pulled your weight before the adjustment periods were made. E.g. I worked with someone who had ME. She often did shorter days and nobody resented her.

However, another colleague literally took the piss by saying she arrived earlier than anyone else so she left earlier than anyone else. The thing was that while she did arrive earlier, she went to the gym until 8.30am and then arrived back to her desk and spent the day telling everyone she had been there since 7.30am.

Its really hard to say whether you are being unreasonable or not OP without knowing what you do. E.g. if you were a teacher and headed out for breaks throughout the day, then yes you are in the wrong job. If you are a nurse and leaving the ward means others are run off their feet, then its unreasonable.
There are so many jobs with consequences for others e.g. hairdresser, receptionist and others where the consequences are suffered primarily by you e.g. estate agent.

I would wonder if you might be happier with a different job as the one you have seems to cause you more stress which can't be helpful to your condition. Also if after four years, you haven't a respectful relationship with your colleagues (and vice versa) then I imagine it isn't a nice environment to work in anyway.

If it was me, I would make up the time either by working earlier or later because I think in an office environment, resentment results in outright hostility, which is a work environment I wouldn't choose to work in.

Is your company providing cover for you when you are unable to work or is the work being farmed out to the other members of the team? I could see that causing resentment and stress.

If the latter, then your fellow team members should discuss with management and not have a go or make comments directed at you.

Perhaps speak to your HR department about adequate cover for your illness and let your team know that you have done this.

Yes, I'd resent this - I am aware the law is on your side but I wouldn't expect much sympathy from colleagues. You are not "level with everyone" if they have to work 8 hours when you can get away with less than 7 by saying that the normal day's work is "getting too much". How can things "get too much" when you're WFH, anyway

You are perfectly correct that people with ND aren’t level with everyone, hence the adjustments.

If someone who had been with a company for 4 years and had broken their leg and needed some adjustments to do their work for 8 weeks would you be resentful?
Would people be telling them to get a different job

Does anyone actually understand how hard someone who is ND works just to achieve what a NT takes for granted Nd not just in their work life but in every aspect of their lives.
No wonder op burnt out.

A lot of us have anxiety and depression during parts of our lives. In fact I would say most. It’s not an illness, it’s a reaction to stressful occurrences in your life. Get therapy or counselling - it shouldn’t be something people accept as a lifelong condition.

If someone who had been with a company for 4 years and had broken their leg and needed some adjustments to do their work for 8 weeks would you be resentful?
Would people be telling them to get a different job

It doesn't sound like it will be for only eight weeks though. It sounds, if anything, as if the OP is needing increased adjustments in order to function and while it will be reviewed in eight weeks, this doesn't mean it is for an eight week period only.

I'm not sure what privilege people think having multiple autism immune diseases is, but they ought to wind their necks in.

Sorry they said this to you.

This is a very ignorant post.

Anxiety/depression absolutely is an illness and it is not always a reaction to stressful occurrences in your life.

I have dealt with severe health anxiety since I was a child and was diagnosed with it in my mid-twenties officially after suffering a breakdown. It absolutely can be a reaction to stressful occurrences, but it is not always the case and for many, these are disorders that they've suffered with throughout their lives and have managed to varying degrees.

Quit making ignorant statements about things you know nothing about.

I've done a volunteer event job for 6 years, during the event i'm working 8-10 hours a day, over a 6 day event. Planning i'm working an average 10-15 hours a week.

Over the 6 years, event attendance has gone from 1000-3000 attendees, and i have been promoted up to senior staff.

at 1000 me and my adhd, and my physical disability could cope, and i needed no adjustments.

This last year both have become MUCH worse, and i've had to ask for adjustments so that i can keep doing my work. A special orthopaedic chair, extra crew as i can no longer physically patrol the floor, and a PA to help keep my diary for planning deadlines. All have been provided (its all volunteer roles so no extra wage for 'employer')

Not asking for those things means my job wouldn't get done, and the extra work on the rest of the team would be entirely unreasonable, and the event would lose my experience and expertise in a very niche and stressful role.

They aren't special treatment, they're adjustments i'm entitled to legally, even as a volunteer.

Had a few people in the organisation complain about the help i get, and they have been roundly sat upon by the event directorate/HR as its discrimination.

OP, its the same in your case, speak to your managers and ignore the comments.

Not necessarily. I can lose the power of speech mid-sentence.

Wouldn’t have bothered me when I had a ‘real job’ (now self employed thank god!), I used to see people away from their desks all the time for breaks, brewing up, fag breaks, fucking about… as long as there breaks weren’t impacting the team or there was a wider plan in place if disruptions happened I’d be fine. Because who knows one day we might be the one in need of this compassion in the work place.

I hope things improve for you soon.

Bingo square: Ignorance of skills and strengths existing alongside disability, aka "if you can't cope with [one specific thing] then you're not fit for your entire job".

Bingo square: Belief that a condition or its symptoms are a choice or under the disabled person's control e.g. intermittent mutism ("selective" is a misnomer) described as "you decided that you couldn't talk to people".

Tell me you don’t suffer with severe anxiety and/or depression without telling me.

HR needs involving if your colleagues are making nasty comments about reasonable accommodations for disability. That's discrimination

Why have they told your colleagues this is happening?

Of course they will resent you!!! You work less hours!!!

We're all tired, we all need a break.

Yes your life is hard, but everybody is on the edge.

I'd resent you if you were telling me about these breaks. If you kept them quiet, I'd have no way to resent you.

I’d be fed up if it meant I had to pick up your work. Your manager needs to arrange cover if you are away so much that it affects your colleagues

Of course Anxiety and Depression are illnesses, you utter numpty.
Some of the comments on this thread are absolutely appalling and I honestly wonder what this site has become.

Such shitty, petty comments on this thread.

I have an informal adjustment at work where I tell me boss I'm logging off, and disappear for an unstated length of time (30 mins to a few hours). It's because I suddenly get overwhelmed and shut down. I'm literally unable to think straight. There is no build-up to it like one of the hounding posters was going on about. Quite the opposite, I work extremely fast and do too many things at once. My boss is aware that this is why I disappear.

In my case no-one is affected, I just pick up the work later, and do extra as needed.

OP I'd go officially part-time for a while. And look for a job without meetings, as it seems you have found this job a strain for a long time.

"we're all tired, we all need a break"

'We're' not all disabled.
ME isn't just TIRED ffs.
Autistic Burnout isn't just TIRED ffs.

They're disabilities. Very real physical and neurological problems that require help and support that the OP is legally entitled to as they're long term/lifelong DISABILITIES.

Being tired and needing a break is not a disability.

Bingo square: Your reasonable adjustments are inconvenient for me.