Would you resent a colleague who has this ‘privilege’

[Resentedpumpkin]

Which is actually a reasonable adjustment?

Asd and adhd plus ME - I’m needing more and more breaks due to ASD and avoiding shutdown. It’s been agreed on my return after 2 weeks off (shutdown and selective mutism) . So now when it gets too much I’m able to log off (if WFH) or leave my desk for up to 30 mins as many times as needed per day.

it’s been once or twice a day but yesterday happened 4 times (10 mins, 30 mins, 25 mins and 5 mins)

Had some sarcastic and off remarks about it from others and now just feeling shit and embarrassed. Everyone is aware of my conditions so it’s not like they don’t know

And here come the neurotypicals wanting their neurotypical accommodations that they don't even recognise as accommodations.

But a massive impact on clients and the business as a whole. Potentially costing the business money?

I'm all for reasonable adjustments. Indeed, I had many in my last job. But, eventually, it gets to the stage where there are no more adjustments to be made, no new assistive technology to help, and it will come to capability proceedings and dismissal.

It sounds like your employer is going over and above to help you. It is their decision to do this. Yes, your colleagues will feel aggrieved because you're not working your full hours while they are, but try not to let it get to you.

Just do your best and see how these adjustments work, but be prepared for the eventuality that you might not be able to work, at least in this job.

I also have additional breaks for ASD and ADHD op. At my best I take one a week and at my worst I can take multiple breaks per day.

You need to stop letting people bother you. They can only get to you if you let them.

However you do need to tell your manager that criticisms and slights will just add to rejection sensitive dysphoria so they need to manage your other colleagues behaviour as they're purposefully saying things that negatively affect your ability to work.

I cant believe some of the comments on this thread. OP had go put in 200% effort to be at the same output level as others. She has issues that others do not. So whilst it may seem like privileges, they are not. They help the OP function at the same level as others. Its up to management to ensure that this doesn't impact on the team.

Do you get your work done OP or does anyone else need to take over? If its a latter and is likely to be a long term problem, then your managers need to find a sustainable solution.

I can’t imagine even noticing!

Depends on the job surely. I was well aware of a colleague's adjustments because it meant I was being asked to take on elements of their work load at short notice, primarily meetings where I'd be trying to read the case file during the introductions with the added "bonus" that I'd usually get to keep the case. Given my own need for "perfection" and anxiety (diagnosed with gad and ptsd), I absolutely hated being thrown into meetings with other professionals with no prep time.

Other colleagues had adjustments which didn't bother me at all because my work load wasn't impacted.

If the Op's scenario is closer to my first example then I can understand resentment but I think it's a management issue. If its more like the second one, then people are I think are being unreasonable.

I am finding some of the comments on this thread eye opening. The government is looking at forcing people with disabilities, including mental health conditions, particularly anxiety and depression, into the workplace. How on earth are those people to be supported if the attitudes seen here are replicated across the country? People have no idea how disabling some conditions are and how much support people might need to enter and stay in the work place. Some people would want to see them earn less money if they have reasonable adjustments, others are openly resentful to the point of spitefulness and others are thinking people are ‘taking the piss.’ Not a very edifying read at all. God forbid any one of you suffers a disabling medical episode in your life.

Do you feel able to make the time up?
do you feel when ur about to ‘shut down?’

You sound delightful 🙄

Love how complying with the law has become 'not thinking it through...'

What a ridiculous response.

If other people are struggling and 'getting on with it' and haven't spoken up to ask for help/support that they're legally entitled to, then that is their problem, not people like the OP who have asked for help, and got it, it is NOT special treatment ffs.

Absolutely this.

If OP was too ill to work and claiming benefits, the exact same people that are calling her "privileged" on this thread would be calling her "scrounger".

The disablism on Mumsnet continues to disgust me.

I work in a large company with decent OH/wellbeing policies. Every so often someone is WFH for several months, or on a managed return, or various other options, due to (undisclosed) needs.
I don't really have any interest in what the issues are, none of my business. I wish them well of course but in terms of resentment? No I don't resent them, but what tends to happen is that you automatically rule these people out when you need something/want to plan a project/etc. It's just sort of assumed that they aren't going to be available so you work around that. Once they are back full time it's like, ah ok there you are, let's get on with it.
I'd give it another week or 2, your colleagues will have moved on. Hope you recover soon OP and that you can get some enjoyment from your job eventually.

It wouldn't bother me that you have reasonable adjustments in the workplace.

It makes me happy that there are workplaces that clearly value and are willing to support their disabled and ND employees. Gives me hope for my own daughter.

If your colleagues have a problem with it, they need to be direct and speak to the management about how it's affecting them and what they need, not just be whispery, snidey and moany about pay and workload in your earshot.

Totally agree

I'd have no issue with this. Its for 8 weeks to get an experienced colleague back up to full speed. Much better than no colleague, or training a temporary colleague. Review after 8 weeks- working , all good, if not, then following whatever process happens next. Small timeframe for 4 years of service.

These questions have been asked numerous times with no response:
Do you still have a lunchtime break?
Do you make up the missing time?

That’s not what I meant at all. It’s twofold, one half is complying with the law and making adjustments for the OP and the other half is how it is communicated to the team so everyone knows where they are at in terms of any workload adjustments. Both sit with the manager and/or HR and both are important. I was wondering if this had not been explained clearly to the team and the workload distribution thought through clearly before this new arrangement was put in place. Neither sit with the OP.

As one of the 15% or whatever it is autistic people who currently do work, let me tell you how absolutely diabolical it is. And like OP I can go into verbal shut downs. I usually can manage at work but at home the mask comes off and I just feel like I've used up my word count for the day, not to mention the crippling anxiety and trauma that comes with it happening on the reg.

It's hard to prove you're no longer functioning to qualify for additional financial support and your world gets really small when you can no longer work, but work isn't always in your best interest.

I keep having to be signed off sick with burnout, and while my absence triggers are extended due to disability, it obviously can't go on forever.

I'm dreading the legislation that is proposed and trying to be pushed through because it's an enforced life of trauma from the government once it goes through, and even thinking about it makes me think some really dark things about myself that aren't what my usual self would think.

Agree with the majority - if we were in the type of job where the work needs to be done but it doesn't particularly matter when, then it wouldn't bother me at all and I'd happily be flexible about meetings or calls.

If your absence is adding to others' workloads though then that is a different thing. Perhaps reasonable in the short term in the sense of a phased return, but not in the long term. That's for management to worry about, not you though.

I don’t think this poster is implying that the adjustments shouldn’t have been made, they are simply saying that management might have agreed to the adjustments without thinking through the impact on the team of these adjustments. So not that management should stop the adjustment or change it, but just that they need to also account for the fact OP will be working for less time without that falling on her colleagues to pick up the slack (if it does) :)

A well managed workplace should be capable of providing reasonable adjustments for those that need it without it having a negative impact on other employees.

This looks to me like autistic burnout. You might need to go off sick for a while to recover.

Also, apply to Access To Work for job coaching to help you better manage working whilst neurodivergent.

I wouldn't resent you at all OP, but then I'm not a complete cunt.

I've known people take longer time off in a day for smoke and tea breaks. Some people work slow and some people fast. Some people work consistently and some in bursts. Some people require accomodation, like two of my colleagues who have cared for terminally ill partners, or a colleague who needed time off after being the victim of a distressing crime. Some people have health problems which means they can give less to work. Some people are more committed than others. Some don't have a life outside work so become jobsworths, some people are lazy. Lots of people have 'off' periods in their life, weeks or months when for whatever reason they can't give as much as they used to. Some people are just rubbish at their jobs. I couldn't care less about any of it, I do what I can and no more, and I don't resent anyone who is trying their best. Please ignore your nasty colleagues and PP. Their inability to go through life with any grace or understanding is their problem, not yours.

Would it help if this was reframed as an 8 week return to work programme? Because from what you’ve said, that’s what it is. As part of a phased return, these sorts of breaks would be reasonable.

Agreed, thank you.

Sorry if I misunderstood you @MummyJ36 .