Would you resent a colleague who has this ‘privilege’

[Resentedpumpkin]

Which is actually a reasonable adjustment?

Asd and adhd plus ME - I’m needing more and more breaks due to ASD and avoiding shutdown. It’s been agreed on my return after 2 weeks off (shutdown and selective mutism) . So now when it gets too much I’m able to log off (if WFH) or leave my desk for up to 30 mins as many times as needed per day.

it’s been once or twice a day but yesterday happened 4 times (10 mins, 30 mins, 25 mins and 5 mins)

Had some sarcastic and off remarks about it from others and now just feeling shit and embarrassed. Everyone is aware of my conditions so it’s not like they don’t know

How exactly? The OP is working reduced hours and so should reduce pay.

If she doesn't then she is actually on a higher wage than her colleagues who are doing more work.

A competent manager should know how to work HR to their advantage. Regrade the role, re-assign tasks, etc. Put complementary people together.
Unfortunately very few people know how to manage. They've been promoted for being good at their 'job' not at managing people.

So would I. Especially when you're not expected to make the time up. It surely can't be allowed to go on indefinitely? It's not the job for you, a bit like a window cleaner with a fear of heights, they'd need to find another role that they can successfully do.

OP what are you hoping to achieve with this thread? I'm seeing some really nasty ableist comments that I'm hoping you're not taking to heart.

It seems to me you're worried that people are judging you and want some reassurance.

Let me reassure you - your reasonable adjustments sound just that - reasonable. There is a process for reviewing them and how they're working both for you and the team. The adjustments are designed to allow you to give of your best, so focus on that.

I'm glad you have supportive managers and I'm sorry you're hearing little snide remarks. I'd mention to your managers that you've had some nasty remarks - any reasonable organisation will want to shut those down asap.

Good luck.

I don't think the accommodations for your cognitive disability is a 'privilege' @Resentedpumpkin but it doesn't sound as though you're well enough to do the job. An employer must make 'reasonable accommodations' for employees' disabilities, in order that tey can do their job.

But if you're not managing your workload, and other colleagues are having to pick up the work you can't manage, then that's not reasonable.

Do you think you're capable of doing the full job when you're well, OP? And how could you improve your health?

I think these are the things you need to consider. If your workplace has an Occupational Health department, maybe you could have a 'no prejudice' discussion with them about your current struggles?

OP if you're sure this is short-term there's no issue.
However if your breakdown was the result of 4 years of masking then this might not be the ideal solution.
Are you colleagues aware that this is temporary?

I'm not looking for any kind of satisfaction. As per my last post, my brother has autism and my work has links with SEND. I've been working in this field for 20 years. I've grown up with neurodiversity all around me. My brother's autism and associated issues are so severe that he cant work at all, certainly not more than on a voluntary basis.

Working with someone who cannot do the job safely or adequately due to their neurodiversity, is a very different matter. I possibly would have felt upset to hear my comment before I'd actually lived it. It actually impacts on my mental health. I have my own issues going on in my life and have to do almost double the work so that our work isnt completely messed up. It's very difficult.

Every situation is different and I suspect that mine is on the more complex end of the spectrum.

I wouldnt feel resentful towards the colleague, I'd feel resentful towards my manager if the adjustments were adversely affecting me beyond helping out a bit though to be honest. I wouldn't be bothered about taking x amount of breaks for the same pay for 8 weeks, I would if it meant having to constantly rearrange meetings, take on a lot of extra work or whatever else though. That's not your problem though, you've had adjustments agreed and your employer has agreed that they're reasonable; they should be making sure this isn't affecting your colleagues that shouldn't be your responsibility.

I really can’t believe some of the comments on this thread.

Op. No I absolutely wouldn’t resent your reasonable adjustment at all.
we have a lady that has ADHD who has similar adjustments to help her cope The adjustment works really well for her and have got less over time - and she is much more productive than anyone else in the team as she is super focussed whilst she is working.

These people that are resentful of your adjustment are a disgrace and totally lacking in empathy.

A truly supportive manager would manage the impact on the entire team. Not do the bare minimum so they don't get sued, as ignoring issues once flagged is illegal.
OP still hasn't stated whether her adjustments actually impacts colleagues. In many lines of work, like mine it might not really. Unless we're on incident calls a quick meeting between technical staff can always be re-scheduled, meeting with major stakeholders have two people to cover.

However, if OP is, say the subject matter expert and dropping out in the middle of calls, leaving her colleagues scrambling to cover it looks very bad indeed. In this case it's management's fault for not authorising delegation (and re-prioritising work to cover) and you can't blame the people picking up the pieces!

I think management are responsible for a lot of this bad feeling.
It sounds as though you are on a staged return to work, I would explain this to your colleagues.
It might be better to have a more formalized part time return to work though.

I'm not clear if you ducking out for a while increases the workload of other team members at short notice? If it does then I can understand their frustration particularly if they don't understand what is happening. But they should be raising this management.

If it doesn't impact anyone other than you then they are being unreasonable and should allow to crack on with your phased return to work without getting involved at all.

If I'm being honest, I'd say all the right get things-but if it's a very busy job I MIGHT secretly resent a colleague opting out for over an hour a day. But obviously if you need to you need to....

You’re opening this up on a forum where some will actually understand the challenges you face and others will not and just be cruel through their ignorance and ableist, like the colleagues you’ve described.

Talk with your workplace about the atmosphere and comments. You are more than entitled to the reasonable adjustments so don’t just cut your hours. Do keep in mind rejection sensitivity dysphoria and reflect on how you are currently feeling. If you have an OT then chat with them. You can also get adhd coaches who can help here too.

Where does the undone work go? Do they just send it to the shredder?

I always hear how people get annoyed when those with disabilities dont work and are on benefits and think WFH is solution to it all and scrutinise them..

But then someone works and needs adjustments..rightly so and thats awful too 😅 what exactly do you want from people with conditions..you dont want them on benefits and think they should all work, but just not where those without conditions work 🤔

I would be supportive.

How do you let others know you are unavailable? How was this communicated to people impacted?

OP has been asked repeatedly whether the rest of her colleagues are having to pick up the slack during her absences and I can't see where she has addressed this question (apologies if I've missed it, @Resentedpumpkin ).

But obviously, if the rest of the team ARE having to do extra work to accommodate OP's reasonable adjustments, then, yes, with the best will in the world, they are likely to resent this. Doesn't excuse the shirty comments, of course - OP should take this up with her line manager.

TBH I'd be mentioning those comments to your manager. If they are doing it in earshot of you it's pretty ignorant of them. It's also absolutely none of their business and it's only adding to your anxiety.

It's either an inclusive place to work or it's not and it sounds like management are making a good effort.

4 breaks a day? Most smokers I know take about 10 and nothing is said to them and the gross smell wafting back in with them.

Please rise above these people and look after yourself, and keep going.

sounds like you would be happier and also therefore more productive in a role more suited to you

Where does the undone work go? Do they just send it to the shredder?

I have an individual caseload of clients, if I don't see them then they go unseen ( at least for a couple of weeks) if I don't do my paperwork it sits there until I do, likewise my emails.
In my line of work my hours don't have much impact on the colleagues.

Mostly it just takes longer. The same as it would if someone was off sick, quit, etc. Long-term more staff would need hiring. In any case working with complex software we always get delayed due to things beyond our control like other dependencies, so work's fluid anyway.
Of course, if I was a paramedic instead of a software engineer this would be impossible. Or even a nursery worker where ratios need to be maintained and they're running on skeleton staff as it is.

Good luck, OP - I hope you're feeling much better soon. Ignore all the nasty people on here and at work. They are just very ignorant. You managed before so no reason you can't manage again. Report every time anyone says anything negative about you taking breaks at work.

I agree wholeheartedly that people should have support to do their job , but only if it actually enables them to do the job with the same output as colleagues being paid the same.

Yes. I know this is a trial period and I hope it works for you. But if your situational mutism means that meetings repeatedly have to be rescheduled because you've had to take a break, and you're not fulfilling the role (or your absence is preventing others from being able to fulfil theirs) then yes, there'll be resentment.

I'd honestly consider looking for a role that doesn't involve you needing to speak in meetings, for your sake.

If I still worked in care home or as a duty social worker it would have a significant impact if a colleague was working significantly less and I would have to work harder to cover for them.

I wouldn’t resent this and wouldn’t see it as a privilege! It’s not like you are doing something nice in that time, you are rebalancing yourself in order to continue with your work!

You have health conditions and are trialling a way to manage it which has been discussed and agreed with your management team.

If taking small breaks allows you to continue with your work and feel better then surely that’s a good thing?