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Original poster

As a 41 yo woman, would you date a 62 yo man ?

333 replies

Thekormachameleon · 11/12/2023 12:50

He's good looking, financially comfortable, works full time, funny, fit and healthy

But it just seems such a huge age gap

OP posts:
ChanelNo19EDT · 11/12/2023 14:10

No I wouldn't. I'd be scared of it becoming habit and then having to figure out how to get out of it.

Myfavouritecolourisanimalprint · 11/12/2023 14:15

I did, 10 years ago, with almost a 22 year age gap but it only lasted a year and he was always very insecure because he was convinced I was going to run off with someone my own age. He died four years ago from sepsis, which to be fair could have happened at any age.
My DP now is 10 years older but youthful for his age, and we have a much healthier relationship.

coxesorangepippin · 11/12/2023 14:26

Yes for sure

bonzaitree · 11/12/2023 14:28

I wouldn’t get into a long term relationship with that age gap. Just because he will age a lot in the next 15- 20 years and you’ll be in your prime.

Id look for someone 7 years older or younger at 41, so 34 - 48.

theduchessofspork · 11/12/2023 14:30

It’s not wise, so if you haven’t fallen for him yet I would extract yourself. You will be at v different life stages in 5 mins which is a PITA and you may well end up a nurse maid.

Have a fling by all means - but not if you think you are susceptible to more

RuthW · 11/12/2023 14:32

No. I'm 55 and dh is 63. That's far bigger than enough.

Oblomov23 · 11/12/2023 14:34

No. That age gap is too large.

MalcolmTuckersSwearBox · 11/12/2023 14:38

No.

ViolaSmart · 11/12/2023 14:38

No

LoobyDop · 11/12/2023 14:40

No. I would assume a man interested in a relationship with that big an age gap was looking for a trophy or a carer, and in either case a junior partner rather than an equal. I have no interest in being a junior partner.

MissFizzyPop · 11/12/2023 14:41

Recently out of a relationship where he was 19 years older than me, I was 38 when we met. It was mostly fine as we had a lot in common but we never lived together. However, he appeared to be rather more of a feminist than he actually was, it was clear by the end that he felt he was superior to me - admittedly this could have been a personality thing, not an age thing.

Gettingfedupgrrrr · 11/12/2023 14:44

A friend is 57 and her husband is 72, she loves him dearly. When they first met she was in her early 30s but has admitted that as they have got older his winding down was getting the better of her. She wanted dinner parties and trips away and he just wanted to stay at home. Initially he was more sociable but as he has got older he just didnt want to go out much.

Has he got children from a.previous relationship?

Daleksatemyshed · 11/12/2023 14:45

No Op I wouldn't. He's at a very different stage of life to you, in a few years he'll be looking to retire whilst you'll still be working (I presume). If you kept it light and just had casual dates maybe it would work for a while but if you got more involved the age gap would start to show up far more. If you were 10 years older I'd say it could work but that's such a big age gap

Disturbia81 · 11/12/2023 14:46

Disgusting. Imagine the other way round.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 11/12/2023 14:47

NO!! You’ll be in his 60 and he’ll be in his 80s!

I wouldn’t felt this unless I strongly believed him to be “the one” in regard to my feelings, his feeling and all other circumstances (except for age)… and even then I’d probably hesitate.

ArsenicInTheAppleTart · 11/12/2023 14:49

Disturbia81 · 11/12/2023 14:46

Disgusting. Imagine the other way round.

What of it?

It's hardly disgusting. A 41 year old is hardly some dippy teen in the first flush of youth. We're talking two fully formed adults.

orangeflutterby · 11/12/2023 14:52

Disturbia81 · 11/12/2023 14:46

Disgusting. Imagine the other way round.

A friend of mine who is 55 is married to a woman who is 72. They have been together for over 30 years and he does love her but finds the relationship very difficult now. At 72 a person can be, not always but can be rather elderly but 55 is still quite young. His job involves working away a lot and he may have to give it up as she is now struggling to cope on her own when he's away but financially they would struggle as he's not much qualified to do anything else.

TrinityTinselBalls · 11/12/2023 14:54

No

Christmasmishap · 11/12/2023 15:10

No. Having just nursed my similar aged (to me) husband through a long horrible illness, I'm not deliberately setting myself up to be anyone's nurse again.

I did it for DH amd was glad to becuase we'd been married a long time and it's what you do, but just no in your circumstances.

Christmasmishap · 11/12/2023 15:12

orangeflutterby · 11/12/2023 14:52

A friend of mine who is 55 is married to a woman who is 72. They have been together for over 30 years and he does love her but finds the relationship very difficult now. At 72 a person can be, not always but can be rather elderly but 55 is still quite young. His job involves working away a lot and he may have to give it up as she is now struggling to cope on her own when he's away but financially they would struggle as he's not much qualified to do anything else.

Show quote history

A friend of mine has just separated from his wife of 30 years who is 67 to his 50. It was her decision because she doesn't want to live the life he wants now, she wants a quiet retirement where he feels he's in his prime and has lots to do still.

Vinoveritass · 11/12/2023 15:15

No I wouldn't. I'm 39 and to me the maximum would be mid 50s

Iateallllllthepies · 11/12/2023 15:17

Not unless he was very rich.

aModernClassic · 11/12/2023 15:19

No. That's just too much of an age gap. Men get old quickly after a certain point.

orangeflutterby · 11/12/2023 15:27

@Christmasmishap He feels they should have split a few years ago due to differing needs and lifestyle but she didn't want to and now she feels she can't cope without him. They do love each other but it isn't a marriage anymore in the usual sense of the word. Kudos to your friends wife who probably did the right thing for both of them.

MumPod · 11/12/2023 15:42

Absolutely! When I was in my early 20s I dated a man 25 years older. We dated for around 12 months and he broke it off as we wanted different things. He looked his age but I found him handsome, funny and very charming.