Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

As a 41 yo woman, would you date a 62 yo man ?

333 replies

Thekormachameleon · 11/12/2023 12:50

He's good looking, financially comfortable, works full time, funny, fit and healthy

But it just seems such a huge age gap

OP posts:
ElPulguilla · 14/12/2023 07:55

I would, absolutely.

PincNeon · 14/12/2023 08:06

While an individual relationship shouldn’t be judged, I agree with PPs who say these age gaps relationships as a phenomenon entrench male entitlement to (much) younger women which is bad for women as a whole.

I’m 44, with a man the same age, and it blows my mind to think that if we split it wouldn’t be thought remarkable for me to be dating men in their early 60s, while he could be seeing women in their 20s.

oneflewoverthe · 14/12/2023 09:04

PincNeon · 14/12/2023 08:06

While an individual relationship shouldn’t be judged, I agree with PPs who say these age gaps relationships as a phenomenon entrench male entitlement to (much) younger women which is bad for women as a whole.

I’m 44, with a man the same age, and it blows my mind to think that if we split it wouldn’t be thought remarkable for me to be dating men in their early 60s, while he could be seeing women in their 20s.

Yes I find that odd at 39 too. Husband is a few months younger than me. I'd rather be forever single than with someone over 20 years older than me. My mum is 60 ffs.

constancee · 14/12/2023 09:39

Yes I find that odd at 39 too. Husband is a few months younger than me. I'd rather be forever single than with someone over 20 years older than me. My mum is 60 ffs.

I'm the same age as you and wouldn't countenance it either, a few years younger or older only. The 20 year gaps are unusual though, most couples are actually more similarly matched in age or only a few years between them. Hence OP starting a thread to ask about such a large age gap.

I do think there can be a horrible male entitlement to the vastly younger women, and that's why you often hear, from these threads, about them trying their luck and pestering these much younger women on dating apps and in real life. It's unpleasant really.

oneflewoverthe · 14/12/2023 10:07

@constancee my mum remarried someone 22 years older than her. At 40 and him 62 his health was fine. Before he died in march she had to do everything including personal care. He was a very lazy and entitled man before this. She waited on him for 20 years. But then that was her choice I guess. I remember when I was single at 25/26 I was getting messages from men twice my age.

Rainbowqueeen · 14/12/2023 10:22

No
Id never be comfortable with that age gap. I want to grow old with someone. The life stages are just too different

Thenewmags · 14/12/2023 17:39

PincNeon · 14/12/2023 08:06

While an individual relationship shouldn’t be judged, I agree with PPs who say these age gaps relationships as a phenomenon entrench male entitlement to (much) younger women which is bad for women as a whole.

I’m 44, with a man the same age, and it blows my mind to think that if we split it wouldn’t be thought remarkable for me to be dating men in their early 60s, while he could be seeing women in their 20s.

I agree about the entitlement thing. I get that sometimes two people meet and click and they go for it which is fine, but you’re correct these age gaps are not good for women as a collective when it’s normalised.

There’s another thread on here about “what is it with the trend of men waiting to middle age to settle down”. I think this has a lot to do with it. A relative of mine played the field until he was in his late 50s then settled down with a woman In her late 30s.

I’m 44, with a man the same age, and it blows my mind to think that if we split it wouldn’t be thought remarkable for me to be dating men in their early 60s, while he could be seeing women in their 20s

The thought has crossed my mind as well with my boyfriend even though I’m actually a few years younger than him.

northernlasses · 19/12/2023 07:53

Brad Pitt is 60 and George Clooney is 62.

Not sure I'd be turning either down because they are too old 😀

EtiennePalmiere · 19/12/2023 09:10

northernlasses · 19/12/2023 07:53

Brad Pitt is 60 and George Clooney is 62.

Not sure I'd be turning either down because they are too old 😀

Just brad for me please Xmas Grin

hillory · 19/12/2023 09:10

northernlasses · 19/12/2023 07:53

Brad Pitt is 60 and George Clooney is 62.

Not sure I'd be turning either down because they are too old 😀

I can't believe Brad Pitt is 60! I think they are extreme examples and exceptions though aren't they. Even without their wealth and fame they're considered extremely handsome and look youthful for their ages. Your average 62 year old bloke doesn't look like them 😀

I was going to say I'd include Jon Hamm in that but having checked he's only 52.

I've never liked attention from much older men, it's always been repellent. I'll feel the same about that at 40 as I did at 20 and 30. But I hope it works out for OP if that's what she chooses.

Rocksonabeach · 19/12/2023 09:14

Possibly.

I know someone at 25 that married a 52 on her department. They had 3 children and he took early retirement and looked after them all and did school runs etc he was loaded and she did work but part time seemed to work for them 30 years later - she’s obviously 55 with children in their 20s and he’s 82 but both of them are retired now

BIossomtoes · 19/12/2023 09:22

Iheartmysmart · 11/12/2023 13:12

I’m 56 and to be honest would think twice yet alone at your age.

🙄

MushroomQueen · 23/12/2023 08:49

37 here - my dad is turning 60 so no way personally

FpTr3952fHp · 20/05/2024 20:23

Would he be interested in dating an 83 year old woman?

RenaissanceBaby · 20/05/2024 21:17

37 here, the best kisser I’ve ever had was 62. Amazing chemistry. Don’t knock it!

yumyumyumy · 20/05/2024 21:22

FpTr3952fHp · 20/05/2024 20:23

Would he be interested in dating an 83 year old woman?

I somehow doubt it!

ZenNudist · 20/05/2024 21:23

Nope

It will quickly come to seem like a bigger gap and he quite old. Illness can bring on a disparity overnight and whilst it could be you you declines (!) It's more likely to be him.

yaynottoolongtogonow · 22/05/2024 14:24

Why not!

I would.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 22/05/2024 14:43

I did as we'd already been together 20 years at that time (and still are together)! We've been together since I was 22 and he was 43 so it was just one of those things.

Would I go start going out with someone with that age gap at that age? It would depend on what we had in common but I wouldn't rule it out.

LBFseBrom · 29/05/2024 15:17

Yes if he was not an 'old' sixties and if I liked him, we got on well and had some similar interests. Why not? It's not like setting up home together or being married, it's just enjoying each other's company at times.

Kitkat1982 · 06/06/2024 09:44

I'm 41 and no way would I date someone that old. In 10 years you will be 51 and he will be 72. In 20 years you will be 61 and he will be 82....catch my drift lol.

Disturbia81 · 06/06/2024 09:48

No chance, age gaps usually only happen one way round and it's gross. I wouldn't go more than 5 years either side

Jackfrostnippingatmynose · 06/06/2024 12:35

If he were George Clooney .... maybe!

Catsmere · 06/06/2024 12:38

A man old enough to be my father? Hell no. In twenty years he'd be 82. I've done enough aged care for my mother, thankyouverymuch.

bonzaitree · 06/06/2024 16:42

I think it’s fine if you want a date fling etc.

Not for long term…

Swipe left for the next trending thread