Teacher: I went home crying again today

[Elendel]

...because I got pulled up on using one wrong word (in context, and I am EAL) while a class of youngsters were able to use whatever tone and language they thought was fine with them at the time. I defended my stance, used one wrong word among many spoken in an effort to defuse the situation, and it was me who got pulled into a meeting over my language, not the kid who was in the wrong and ultimately defended by their peers through so many accusations.

Today I, an experienced teacher, am broken. I got told that I, as an adult, should have used a different way of approaching something the student instigated. I am unable to leave. But boy... I saw a car crash on the way home and for a split second I wished that had been me.

I am better now, I do not need help. But if you have children, teach them that other people - teachers - are human, too. Because I am held to such a high standard while displayed violence and verbal abuse are just everyday occurrences for me.

Teaching Is awful at the moment and I teach in an Outstanding school. Currently HR are investigating a pupil’s attack on me. SLT have admitted if an adult had done what this child has they could implement workplace bullying policies or if it was adult on child, they could follow safeguarding procedures. As it stands, there are such policies for child on adult. I am continuing to work but it’s tough. I feel physically sick each day but I don’t want to let my colleagues or others students down. I just feel awful as last night I sobbed all night. My children shouldn’t have to see me like this.

The problem with moving jobs is the 6 month probation period every school now seems to have, in which I could lose my job with as little as a week's notice, given some contracts I've seen. That job insecurity doesn't look good to my mortgage provider, surely?

I absolutely feel for you. I'm in a similar situation, too experienced, too old too expensive and not feeling great about my teaching position.

But it's not going to change if you hide behind these reasons. You need to just try, apply. Apply apply. )I need to hear this too) or try to find a job out of teaching, local council maybe.

As for the incident, it's awful we everyday are put in positions where we have to negotiate tricky scenarios often unpredictable ones. You really shouldn't have engaged in conversation. The situation was him against the policy not you vs him. He's eating in class, first school sanction, he continues or answers back, second school sanction. By discussing, warning, negotiating it makes it personal and it's not and as a result you made an unprofessional comment. It's a horrible feeling your intentions were not to cause distress but by engaging with him you put yourself at risk of saying something regrettable. Chalk it up to experience, by next half term it will be forgotten, learn from your mistake and move on. I think I feel the way you are doing at least twice a term. I feel utterly rubbish then realise that even though I feel my world has imploded, school life moves on at a quick pace.

In the long term it's not sustainable, I am going to in the new year apply for something else because even in a new school fresh start might feel so much better x thinking of you x

Your Trust sounds awful- what sort of school doesn’t pay standard sick pay? Given your update it seems more obvious than ever, you need to be looking hard for another job in a different school with a different culture & more kindness towards the staff.

Look for jobs independent schools ( yes there are good ones). I switched in the last 10 years of my career and it was like being in a proper job where I was respected. There might be niche roles there which might suit you. Definitely sign yourself off for the rest of term and stop making excuses.

It's common now that first 5 days off sick are not paid. Which is terrible.

Also signing off will make it incredibly difficult to find further employment and it won't solve the situation. You need to speak to you line manager, HR if you are feeling that low see if they can change your classes, work hours, something to help you restore a balance. But in the long term you need to find a new position.

As pp definitely try for work in independent sector, smaller classes, kids want to learn, more respect. At least look. Good luck

Yes I have heard similar from friends and colleagues who have taught in schools in poorer countries. Teachers are well respected and the pupils are keen to learn and value their school and the opportunity for education.

In the UK we have completely undermined teachers for years. Parents have no respect for schools and their children pick up on it.
Schools are struggling to retain and recruit teachers and relying too much on cover staff who often can’t control the class or don’t know the subject, so just hand out worksheets.

The children misbehave in lessons, and the parents make excuses for them or kick up a fuss when sanctions are put in place.
School attendance has dropped a lot since Covid.

Children are placed in schools with high SEN needs or unable to speak English, at the same time as Teaching Assistant jobs needed to support those children are being scrapped due to budget constraints.

Then when these children leave school having scraped a handful of GCSEs the school is penalised for it.

It’s dismal and I really worry about the level of education my own DC are getting. They regularly talk about having cover teachers and the awful behaviour of other pupils.

Honestly, you need to get some support with this. You absolutely should not be feeling this way and be left to deal with it yourself.
You can ring the Education Support Helpline on 08000 562561 because the way things have been dealt with today is not OK. Schools have a duty of care to staff as well as children.
Please do try to look for other work. Not all schools are like this and, yes, @Twiglets1 many trusts don't pay sick. They don't have to abide by processes that support workers, so they often choose not to.

Is it? I’ve never heard of that in a school in the U.K.

Firstly, I'm sorry you're feeling so desperately unhappy right now. It sounds like your school, SLT and the Trust are utterly shit.
I left my job last year because I'd had enough of tolerating awful behaviour with very little support from SLT and obnoxious parents and this was 4/5/6 year olds!!! The teaching profession is losing staff left, right and centre right now. It's a mug's game.

Do you think it's got worse since COVID?

My daughter's school is awful. Kids have been ruling it but they are trying hard to change it.

They have no respect anymore. I hate to think what's going to happen when that generation is supposed to start work 🙄

I feel for you op x

Definitely contact union, also you are entitled to have someone with you in meetings (It doesn’t have to be a union rep) You can ask for a meeting to be postponed until you have time to organise this.

Join a union and look at other schools

OP is apparently not in a union.

There’s something unusual in her situation I feel for her not to be in a union and her Trust not to pay sick pay.

She needs to join a different school that offers sick pay & encourages staff to join a union. These things would offer her some protection in the unfortunate event of a similar problem occurring in a different school.

When you remortgage with the same Lender @Elendel they don’t do many checks so it wouldn’t be an issue if continue to work full time but changed employer. In any case it would be months before you actually left your school with the time taken to job hunt and serve your notice.

Do you think it's got worse since COVID?

Yes, to a certain extent, but it was already really bad in a lot of schools. Kids are user to being able to do what they like. The only students who actually care about the few sanctions schools are able to impose are the ones who don't really need the sanctions.

Teachers have been made so accountable for students' exam results and behaviour that many students don't feel they have any responsibility whatsoever for those things themselves. So they see it as entirely the teacher's fault if they misbehave or do badly in their exams. Unfortunately many parents, the government, Ofsted and SLTs agree. They all know full well that you can run yourself ragged trying to lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. They literally can't force kids to behave or study, so they get the parents, the kids and the shitty system off the hook by blaming the teachers. And then people wonder why teachers are quitting the profession in their thousands.

Sympathy, OP.
if you are taking it home in your head and it is keeping you up all night then it is usually because SLT have been unsupportive.
Think about it-something crap is repeatedly happening to you (kids' poor behaviour) and the people who are in a position to make it stop are castigating you instead.
Bullying defined.
You are not the only one. It happens to thousands and thousands of teachers.
But not in every school.
You should get your new mortgage sorted out on the basis of what you currently earn-do that asap for piece of mind.
Then leave.
If you cannot find the same role, use supply agencies and think outside of the box, because if you have experience in an education setting there are way more accessible roles out there than you may have even considered.
Anyone else will be lucky to have you.

I agree with the suggestions to look for another school that pays sick pay. The fact that your Trust doesn't even pay this speaks volumes about their view of teachers, OP. And join a union.

I got a mortgage 6mo in to a FTC, get a recommended broker, they will help you. Banks do want to make all that tasty interest while effectively owning your asset at the end of the day ;)

@twistyizzy spot on! More and more parents believe their precious darlings could do no wrong. Like you, the first question I ask at parents evening is about my DD's behaviour, attitude and kindness to others. She's 5! We've had a couple of very small behaviour incidents at school, with instant follow up from us at home, and an apology to the teacher. She hasn't done them again!

I work in FE
I have had:
Fuck off you bitch
(when politely asking them to do work)
Constant lateness without an apology then bursting in noisily and disrupting the lesson.
Constant toilet breaks.
People having constant 'anxiety attacks' meaning popping in and out of lessons then their friends saying they need to check on them (I'm not talking about genuine cases)
Shoes on desks, looking at you like something they trod in.
CONSTANTLY talking over the top of you then being aggressive and rude and denying it when asked to stop.
I feel really sorry for the ones who want to pass their exam!
The wheels of the so called disciplinary process turn so slowly they can be getting away with this for months.

@Elendel
Join a union today.
As a teacher you simply can't afford to NOT be in a union.
People change jobs all the time. Don't let your mortgage stop you changing.
What kind of school are you working in? No sick pay sounds more than strange.

It is, but it’s too much now. The best way to escape your awful circumstances is often through a good education. I don’t understand why that eludes so many people., especially when education is free up to 18 and schools try to offer so much more than just teaching.

And why do we seem to have so many incompetent parents now? Rich, poor or in between, they just seem to produce problematic children who are a nightmare for everyone including themselves.

Too much time is wasted managing awful attention seeking behaviour at the detriment of teachers’ mental and physical health and at the expense of children who have come wanting to learn.

Ridiculous.

If they really want you, you can ask for terms in the contract to be waived, and they will likely agree if it's reasonable.

Reasonably, no school will want a teacher for less than a year, unless there is some great problem.

Forward planning is key really, look to renew the mortgage before you move, that resolves any issues from that perspective. Cast around, see whats out there and start applying.

If you are interested in any independent schools, speculative letters can prove fruitful, several colleagues got jobs that way and never had to go through a full interview / application process, just a coffee with the head and an offer was forthcoming.

Be wary of any school not offering standard burgundy book conditions and benefits, and join a union ASAP, I was in NEU and we had a good NEU presence in the school, NASUWT are good too and were excellent at supporting a colleague who was being needled by SLT.

If you have to go to any meetings always book a union representative to attend with you and be cautious to say as little as possible.

Its shit out there at the minute, but there are still good schools that support the staff well in doing their jobs and run tight discipline and are well managed - unfortunately though things can change on a sixpence if the head changes from a good one to a bad one.

No. 1 though, look after yourself and see your GP for help.

Please join a union for your own protection. I know they are expensive but they will have your back.