Teacher: I went home crying again today

[Elendel]

...because I got pulled up on using one wrong word (in context, and I am EAL) while a class of youngsters were able to use whatever tone and language they thought was fine with them at the time. I defended my stance, used one wrong word among many spoken in an effort to defuse the situation, and it was me who got pulled into a meeting over my language, not the kid who was in the wrong and ultimately defended by their peers through so many accusations.

Today I, an experienced teacher, am broken. I got told that I, as an adult, should have used a different way of approaching something the student instigated. I am unable to leave. But boy... I saw a car crash on the way home and for a split second I wished that had been me.

I am better now, I do not need help. But if you have children, teach them that other people - teachers - are human, too. Because I am held to such a high standard while displayed violence and verbal abuse are just everyday occurrences for me.

Most?!?! Cheeky cow. You are obviously clueless.

As in “most” careers outside teaching. Comprehension skills aren’t your strong suit I see. Wtf are you calling a cheeky cow.

Clearly not. I read it as teachers aren’t angels and most aren’t role models.

It's been a while, but today has really got to me.

I've had a parent have a massive go because their child was doing something wrong in my classroom and I have been accused of being the cause for not being positive enough - but there was nothing to be positive about; their child took out trading cards and started sorting them into an album during lesson time, then refused to hand them over and even refused to be removed. The parent, meanwhile made it out to be a me-problem and said it's my attitude that's the issue. I've never just hung up on someone in my two decades of teaching, but today and did.

Behaviour is so much worse than it used to be, and I understand parents are stressed out with life, but my god I don't deserve to be ranted at like that. I have a lovely, supportive SLT, but I am seriously considering leaving teaching now. I don't think I can do this for another 25 years with attitudes like this becoming more common. Why are children now believed over adults? Why are adults incapable of seeing the bigger picture?

I will have some, again, telling me I'm not cut out for the job, but the truth is, I am receiving high praise for my teaching from colleagues. Yet the ever-worsening behaviour of students and parents alike is making me want to jack it in, and with it my vast experience.

As a retired head - can I say, I am really sorry you are experiencing this
There was always the odd parent - but I agree that parent attitudes have become worse ( as u think they have say in hospitality) people have become used to complaining and what I call the Amazon prime parents ( I want it and I want it now)

This sort of behaviour used to really piss me off
I am glad SLT are supportive
I have had to put the phone down on parents before

Please don’t give up - but I hear you - people outside of education have no idea what it’s like

The point was the child was not dealt with and this is a major problem. Disruptive children need to be excluded (permanently preferably) when they cause problems in class. The other children in the class deserve to be able to learn and to improve, they also do not need an example of another child getting away with often appalling behaviour in the name of inclusion.
Many who are against exclusion say it does not solve the disruptive child's problems - it is not intended to solve their problems, it's intended to let everyone else get on with their education without disruption.

When you have thoughts of wanting to hit the tree in a car accident, and reaching out for emotional support on Mumsnet, it's time to go to the Dr and get signed off with work related stress.
As someone who had to do this when I was being bullied by management, I felt broken like you. But went to Dr and they have heard the same story a million times over. It's absolutely rampant in teaching.
I honestly thought I'd never teach again. But time and space (and leaving that school) has made me a lot better. Now I do chunks of supply here and there.
Theres a really good Facebook group u cud join...exit the classroom.. something like that I'll check and write it down for u.
Sorry Ur feeling this low. U can get signed off and still pay the mortgage and take time to recover.

Life after teaching - exit the classroom

It's really nice just to see Ur not alone and watch their pit pony video.
🤜🤛
Hope that helps.
And GET SIGNED OFF.

Whilst no one would want a return to the past - caning etc , sadly , the swing has gone far too much towards pupil rights now !

A minority (protected by their ignorant parents who view their kids through rose tinted glasses ) ruin it for the rest of the kids !
Governments don’t need to throw money at attracting people to teaching , it’s retaining them ;behaviour is a huge element of that , along with workload !

Neither are the majority of parents whose kids behave so appalling at school, or their kids would not behave in such a manner.

A big problem is unmet needs; there is so much friction because of the sheer number of students in mainstream education who, 20 years ago, would have attended alternative provision and whose parents are rightly angry because they don't see the same side of their child at home, where the child can have 1-1 attention. Individualism and a "not my child" attitude when it comes to rules also plays a big part.

But I also see an increasing number of parents seemingly completely helpless with their children with no way of disciplining them. I see more and more reports of parents giving in at home because their own children are violent to them if they do not give in to demands.

I don't know what the answer is, honestly. I teach an academic subject that is compulsory all the way through GCSE, but where there is no consequence if children do not make an effort and pass, because they "only need to pass Maths and English" for what they want to do. Compulsory education or training until 18, together with huge financial pressures meaning that colleges will lower their own expectations of what students need to get onto a course, has meant that students don't take their exams seriously.

I have moved schools since my first post. We have a weak behaviour system, but SLT who will back us, which is a step up, I guess. But we have so many parents who will complain, so many parents who will defend their children's poor behaviour. It is now normal to be told that children will misbehave until you have been working at the school for at least a year because so many children have supply teachers after supply teacher.

I agree. Many parents seem to have no idea how to discipline children. Part of this is the spread of the notion that one can be one's children's friends, when this is not so. Partly it is because there has been such a push-down on parents disciplining children - there's a thread on MN about letting a 2-year-old be 2, i.e. make a mess, throw stuff out of the bath and so on, with no idea of the consequences of not preventing this behaviour by teaching by example that we tidy up our toys etc.
The other problem is 'inclusion' which means, as you say, that there are children in mainstream school who would have been in a more suitable environment twenty years ago, with a much higher pupil-teacher ratio than is possible in mainstream.
Sadly, there have always been parents who think their child can do no wrong and are the bees' knees. But they seem to have increased. There's a sense of entitlement which did not used to be so prevalent, too.
Do you teach RE by any chance? I am also curious what word it was you said that was inappropriate - I can't think of any!

There are children who dread going to school and spend every day there in a state of fear and anxiety. The whole system in the UK is just awful. A relative has just left teaching after 15 years. Completely broken and on medication. She said it was like being in a zoo but with no fences or barriers.

100 this - gentle parenting / child led parenting and the like .
Again , I’m not suggesting corporal punishment but kids need to be told no !!!!

A great analogy 🤣

All I can say really is we are not all like this. If my kids had done that in the classroom I would have had words and backed you up. It must be very disheartening.