What would you do if an overweight relative kept breaking your furniture?

[AlittleBitOfApple]

My partner has a very overweight family member, I am not being mean. I would say they are most definitely in excess of 20+stone, potentially over 25. This is the second time they have broken a piece of furniture.
The furniture is brand new and we paid for insurance on it which doesn't have an excess and unlimited claims for 5 years. So at least it won't cost us anything to get it fixed.
I am going to have call the furniture company on Monday and ask them to come out and look at our sofa because its clearly broken. You can feel it when you sit on it/its creaking and its the bit they always sit on when they come to visit. Its a 2k sofa so not a cheap one.
It makes me feel uncomfortable having them in my house because I am worried about things getting damaged. How on earth do you broach with someone that they are breaking your things with their weight? They are very defensive about it and I know if we said something it would affect the relationship my DP has with them. Equally I think they would try and deny it and say their sofa is fine etc. Both times it has happened we didn't notice until after they had gone. For example with the sofa, we don't often sit on the bit that I today have noticed is broken, however it is where they sit when ever they come over.

It's just a really awkward situation.

I like the idea of a motion sensor that when they sit down a voice recorder is triggered and a sad little voice says, "Help you're squashing me! Get off me!"

And make sure you have a big bowl of salad on your coffee table.

Ah this thread is so funny. The sofa-shaming is particularly good. Yes OP, it's entirely your fault for getting such a flimsy sofa when you should have bought the industrial version with a 30stn weight limit.

My heart breaks for your relative for having family like you that think about them like that and share it on the internet.

Think about them like what? She can’t help but notice that an expensive piece of furniture in her home got broken because an overweight relative sat on it. If she thought that badly of the relative she wouldn’t be on here asking for advice about how to handle the ongoing situation sensitively.

Find a nice cheap sturdy thrifted chair, just for them. Just say you think they'll be more comfortable in it. If you have to mention the broken sofa you can blame it on the company making fragile furniture, what an outrage considering the cost! It will deflect any embarrassment away.

%3D

I do believe even an expensive sofa could go under enough weight. We have a very good quality second hand sofa (£4K new) and the couple we bought it from warned me the suspension in the seat the husband routinely sat in was collapsing. He was a huge tall man.

We’ve got an elderly relative who detached our toilet from the wall. We love them and wouldn’t ever want to hurt them. Easier to fix it than mention it. Anyway, what can heavier people actually do? Just get a very sturdy chair you’re not bothered about, it’s not worth upsetting someone is it?

So what should OP do then?

It's perfectly suitable in her own home, for her and her family.

This person keeps breaking it.

No, the answer isn't "buy stronger furniture to suit someone else occasionally visiting in your own home".

How does OP address this.

When people get very big, it's often difficult to estimate weight so he may be heavier than OP thinks. People can be 30+ st and still able to walk. It's not until you get to around the 40st mark that the majority are bedbound. Plenty of the people on My 600lb life can still walk albeit with much difficulty.

Agree the way of sitting will also have an impact. When you jump, the downward pressure applied is something like 3x what you weigh so flopping down suddenly will be making significantly more force impact on the furniture weight wise than just sitting will.

Following for ideas, my dad is at least 20st and he throws himself on to our sofa and sits awkwardly on the front edge and I worry it’s going to snap, we don’t have space to buy him a special chair!

It sounds as though there is a fault in the sofa. Sofas should easily be able to cope with that weight.

You - or preferably DH - tell them they've broken your furniture.

With luck, it might stop their visits.

We had a shit old sofa and a professional came round, dropped down onto it, and looked uncomfortable for about half an hour till he left. He knew he'd broken it but we didn't realise until later! It was old but he was only slightly bulky like a rugby player.

Typical MN it’s the fault of the sofa 😂.

I have to say, this is my point of view too.

You know you have a presumably close family member who needs a bariatric chair. Your options are either to buy one which can take their weight, or to accept they are going to keep breaking your furniture, or stop inviting them over. Buying a sofa that takes their weight seems the most straightforward option.

a sofa should comfortably be able to handle 2 or 3 (if its a 3-seater) full grown adults + dog/kids/whatever.

That would easily be 30st+

IF the sofa is breaking at 20st its a shit sofa, sorry, but it is.

This basically. A sofa should be able to easily cope with 20+ stone! Two people sat on a sofa could easily be more than that. Chuck in kids messing about on them they should be robust.

So yes you have a shit sofa!

So if you have a sofa, and two people weighing 10st each sit on it, and it breaks when the dog jumps up... do you blame the 2 guests, or consider your sofa is shit and unfit for purpose?

What a horrible and unnecessary thing to say

This person would have to be well over 30 stone as 4 normal blokes (all about 15stone each) sat on my sofa and it's fine - and that's 60 stone (albeit not in one place)

It would be spread over a bigger surface area.

Well, yes, that is the obvious course when you have broken someone else's valuable property.

So if three people are sat on a sofa, 10st each and it broke, that would be considered shit wouldn't it? Because a normal sofa 3/4 seater should withstand 3/4 people, right?
If a sofa broke with a combined weight of 30st between 3 people, no one would bat an eye. So yes - it's a shit sofa.

One teenager thunking down on a sofa can break it.

As if people are so offended they're slagging off a sofa 😆