What would you do if an overweight relative kept breaking your furniture?

[AlittleBitOfApple]

My partner has a very overweight family member, I am not being mean. I would say they are most definitely in excess of 20+stone, potentially over 25. This is the second time they have broken a piece of furniture.
The furniture is brand new and we paid for insurance on it which doesn't have an excess and unlimited claims for 5 years. So at least it won't cost us anything to get it fixed.
I am going to have call the furniture company on Monday and ask them to come out and look at our sofa because its clearly broken. You can feel it when you sit on it/its creaking and its the bit they always sit on when they come to visit. Its a 2k sofa so not a cheap one.
It makes me feel uncomfortable having them in my house because I am worried about things getting damaged. How on earth do you broach with someone that they are breaking your things with their weight? They are very defensive about it and I know if we said something it would affect the relationship my DP has with them. Equally I think they would try and deny it and say their sofa is fine etc. Both times it has happened we didn't notice until after they had gone. For example with the sofa, we don't often sit on the bit that I today have noticed is broken, however it is where they sit when ever they come over.

It's just a really awkward situation.

What do you expect them to do? Buy you another sofa?

But also this. What's the point of shaming them on the Internet?

That’s a bit of a leap. How is it fat shaming. It’s saying someone who has broken their sofa because of their weight. Not because of the colour of their hair, their religion. It’s not some random nastiness because of being fat. It’s how to approach them in order not to offend.

Seriously?? , I'm shocked if this is true , it's terribly unhealthy and leads to death threats be that overweight.

25 stone isn't unusual???

Not threats!! God knows why that inserted itself in there!

It's shaming them because the answer is obvious. See them outside of your home, if their visits are making you uncomfortable. No need for inviting analysis of how obese people flop around and don't take care of other people's furniture.

It’s been garden furniture, some new fancy chairs and now a sofa.

Not unusual to be 25 stone?! Of course it is! Even these days when people are fatter than they used to be.

I have a similar relative who broke my sofa and six months later an upholstered dining chair. I now steer them into the dining room and on to a sturdy but easily replaceable pine dining chair that I have purchased for this sole reason.

It's not fat shaming, but what else am I supposed to do? The man is morbidly obese through decades of bad diet and no exercise - I'm not going to skirt around that issue which is completely self-inflicted in his case.

How are they being "shamed" on the Internet? Nobody knows who they are.

I am not fat shaming...I am overweight too. Not to the same extent. But if I broke someone's furniture I would be gutted.
I just can't discuss it with DP's family. Dp just keeps saying he doesn't know what to do about it. Hence the post on here.
This family member just turns up uninvited so a lot of the time we aren't even asking them round. They come to see DP as they both like the same video game.

The sofa isn't anything fancy in terms of design. It's just a normal sofa.

Tell him the sofa has a weight limit of 16 stone. Apologise and offer a blow up chair, floor cushion or Garden chair ?It's your home and you don't have a duty to provide seating for people of such a weight. See him at his home if this isn't an option. Hope the repair goes well.

I guess it depends how often they visit, but the route of highest family harmony is probably to get a sturdy chair that accommodates them, replacing a current one if space is tight. You can't be facing repairs after every visit, but nor can you really ask them to pay either.

Yet another fat shaming thread but then of course MN is full of slim and perfect women...

I am not a troll and I haven't posted about this before. I have name changed but I am a long standing poster. I have been on here since the 2000's.

I am usually posting in the DIY section or about my SEN child but thanks for trying to make out like this isn't real.

Is this the poster whose friend broke their shower tray? I vaguely recall that thread

For me it wasn't an overweight relative breaking my furniture, but my constantly drunk mother smashing my glasses, plates, bowles etc when she was "helping" to load my dishwasher at night when I was putting the kids to bed (after I had told her NOT to "help"). In the end I pointed out that she and her husband will smash at least one item every single time they visit. So now, they are no longer allowed alcohol when they visit (though they often don't bother with visiting anymore).

I wish. I am short and fat and look like Danny DeVito

This isn't remotely fat-shaming. It's not anything-shaming. It's a conundrum: how do you protect expensive belongings from someone who breaks or damages them? It's a sofa, you can't move it out of the way.

Ordering someone to change their budget, decor and personal choices to suit one single person who visits is beyond ridiculous. On what planet would that be normal?

If this were my BIL (for example), I would after the first breakage be honest: hey Bill, last time you sat at that end of the sofa the slats under the cushion broke. We've just bought a new sofa and we can't afford to replace it any time soon. Can you please sit [offer a choice] from now on? Thanks. Fancy a cuppa?

Nope. Not me.

You must be wildly wrong about their weight. Ive never broken anything and im 21st and sit in the same spot on my sofa every night.
Just cos your sofa is expensive doesnt mean its well made

This has been posted previously. So dull.

You will have to be blunt OP. It's costing you money you can't afford just to protect someone else's feelings.
Maybe being told hey have broken your sofa will galvanise them into doing something about their weight 🤔