What would you do if an overweight relative kept breaking your furniture?

[AlittleBitOfApple]

My partner has a very overweight family member, I am not being mean. I would say they are most definitely in excess of 20+stone, potentially over 25. This is the second time they have broken a piece of furniture.
The furniture is brand new and we paid for insurance on it which doesn't have an excess and unlimited claims for 5 years. So at least it won't cost us anything to get it fixed.
I am going to have call the furniture company on Monday and ask them to come out and look at our sofa because its clearly broken. You can feel it when you sit on it/its creaking and its the bit they always sit on when they come to visit. Its a 2k sofa so not a cheap one.
It makes me feel uncomfortable having them in my house because I am worried about things getting damaged. How on earth do you broach with someone that they are breaking your things with their weight? They are very defensive about it and I know if we said something it would affect the relationship my DP has with them. Equally I think they would try and deny it and say their sofa is fine etc. Both times it has happened we didn't notice until after they had gone. For example with the sofa, we don't often sit on the bit that I today have noticed is broken, however it is where they sit when ever they come over.

It's just a really awkward situation.

I do appreciate that this will split anyone on the thread 50/50. but we do all decide what and how much we put in our mouths, and if you have hit 25 stone, you are over doing it. Morbid obesity is only ever a personal issue however. It doesn't affect my life, only your life.

As a tax payer, I might disagree but only because I live in an impoverished area, and see the evidence of weight related health issues every day of the week.

You say it isn’t the persons fault that they are morbidly obese, however it isn’t the OP’s fault either. The relative almost certainly knows that he has broken their furniture, but he hasn’t got the decency to admit it at the time. In fact the OP thinks they would deny it, if anything was said. To criticise the OP for being unhappy about this situation, is absolutely ridiculous.

I agree.

Why should she spend lots of.money on a bariatic chair for a fat knacker who comes over uninvited to play computer games in her living room?

Looking at various furniture retailers websites, most state that the weight limit per seating area is between 18-22 stone. So a combination of 30 stone in one area (if your son plonked himself down on top of you) could potentially break your sofa. These are official guidelines from retailers and manufacturers, not simply my opinion or very scant anecdotal evidence.

Just because you've been fortunate enough in not having broken your sofa with a weight like that doesn't mean that it isn't possible.

I knew someone how breaks beds so it does happen. It's not only how they sit down as people are claiming, but can simply be the weight of them on something.

I agree. It should be up to the obese person to pay for a special reinforced chair for when they visit.

www.tiktok.com/@katherine.xo02/video/6813962798276627717?lang=en

The obese person won't be coming round for much longer if they don't do something about their weight.

OR .. . someone could be crushed as the Twister scrum collapses . . .

Elegantly summarised.

Nah.. calling people names like "fat knacker".... its unhelpful and cruel.

Give over with the "shaming" nonsense, ffs. Addressing reality is just that.

Sorry, quoted the wrong post there...

You can address reality without calling people names

Op some of my furniture is very fragile, it's very old and came via freecyle.

I've Neen concerned about two elderly heavy people coming and what I can sit them on safely.

I'm less worried about the older furniture than them hurting themselves esp one of them.

Yes. Very heavy people sitting on furniture is a worry.

The post I quoted had been edited by the time I quoted it 🤷🏻‍♀️
Seems they thought better of "this is fat shaming!!" 🤔

But it is fat-shaming. Calling people names like "fat-knacker" is not "reality" or "saying it like it is" its shaming someone for the sole reason that they are fat.

Saying the truth and and calling names are not the same thing.

The post I quoted (before it was altered) said "This is fat shaming" in response to "the obese person should pay for the specially reinforced furniture, not the house owner"
This is not fat shaming, in any shape or form.

The name calling wasn't part of @Ger1atricMillennial 's post when I responded to it, she changed it later.

My NDN was over 30st (and nowhere near 6' 5") - he had numerous health problems and died suddenly a month or so ago. He dropped dead after suffering from "indigestion".

He was in his early 50's. He only ever went out to go to work (yes - he did hold down a job) and to his sister's once a week for his Sunday dinner. He was a lovely man, but his huge bulk effectively killed him. His father was a similar size - it was partly genetic and patly a lifestyle choice. His sister is also heavily built, but it very careful about her diet and manages to keep her weight under control.

Unfortunately obesity is something that snowballs - excess weight leads to a reluctance/ inability to take exercise, and because it often makes socialising difficult leads to boredom relieved by comfort eating - which of course, increases weight.

You sound angry. Nothing you wrote is what I said. You completely missed the point of my post.

so me... @Ger1atricMillennial was replying to a post- quoting a post were the person was calling someone a "fat-knacker". This was fat-shaming, I then realised the post did not include the original fat shaming post so I changed my response.

And another disgusting post on severe obesity from someone who clearly doesn't suffer from it. It's an eating disorder and in 20 years time people like you will get cancelled for their comments.

She doesn't sound angry at all.

It's not ok that fat has become something people can take irrational offence at, when they are factually fat and it's caused affecting someone else:

It's one thing to rudely point at someone and declare "you're fat". That's in an attacking sense.

Here, someone very overweight, has broken furniture, twice. Not once, twice. They are either leaping on to the furniture or extremely overweight (suspect it's the latter and OP is underestimating their true weight). Yet, OP can't say anything because it's "fat shaming". It's not. It's stating the truth, and making someone accountable for their actions. And if they feel shame in the truth, then perhaps that's for them to tackle, not expect everyone else to deal with the consequences on their behalf.

There's nothing disgusting about this either.

It's just describing a series of events.

You declaring simple statement of fact as "disgusting" and how it should be "cancelled" is far more concerning.

Excuse me? I have a few obese relatives who absolutely do plonk themselves down because they really can't support their weight past a certain stage. I'm not weight bashing, but let's not pretend there arent consequences of being obese.

And your point about obese people having more strength in their legs than average weight people have in their whole body is ludicrous. YOU may but the typical obese person hasn't.

It is disgusting because the poster analyses the neighbours obesity. Puts it down to lifestyle choice and other factors they have likely no true knowledge of.

Morbid obesity is a personal health issue with a variety of reasons that can be very individual. Poor diet and overeating are just symptoms of something much bigger and much more fundamental which is very, very difficult to fix. I claim the reasons often are in some childhood trauma, same as alcoholism and other addictions. But this neighbour gets judged superficially and 'poor lifestyle choice' is just another term for 'lazy'.

Would you say a depressed, schizophrenic or anxious person suffers due to poor lifestyle choice.

You lot are simply not well informed about a health condition everyone who doesn't suffer from thinks they have figured it out and know how to fix.