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Original poster

Are my kids spoilt/entitled?

277 replies

Appleblum · 05/12/2023 17:48

Several incidents struck me about my kids' behaviour recently. For example:

  • our grocer sold out of their favourite milk and our backup brand from the supermarket was also sold out. I bought supermarket own brand milk and they refused it after trying as it 'tastes like vomit'. The milk was left untouched and both kids went without milk for 2 days before I restocked with their regular brand.
  • they ask for home made packed lunches everyday as they don't like school food. If I'm unable to do a packed lunch they'll begrudgingly eat school food for a day but will whine about it once they're home, or choose to go hungry until I pick them up.
  • on holiday in Venice they were very happy on the private water taxi but didn't like the crowded water buses. They pulled faces until I gave them a strict talking to.

DH doesn't think it's an issue as their behaviour does not negatively affect other people, and he feels that it means they just have high standards for themselves (they like nice food and the taxi is definitely more comfortable). I agree with him to an extent but also feel abit uneasy. I don't want them to turn into brats! They are 7 and 8, should I be worried?

OP posts:
Dowhadiddydiddydum · 05/12/2023 17:55

I think being used to nice things is one thing, but being rude/unreasonable when you can’t have the usual nice thing is another thing. Preferring and likening the expensive milk is fine, calling it vomit without trying and throwing a wobbler is not ok.

I have quite privileged children who can occasionally act like this. It riles me up a little, but I don’t think it’s their fault and thinking of them as “spoilt” doesn’t help me. Instead I think it’s a sign to expose them to different aspects of life more - eg I don’t break my back so they get exactly what they want all the time and see it as a life experience to not get what you want.

In your shoes I’d maybe expose them to a wider range of life- get the bus more, talk about how much things cost, give them a budget some weeks to buy what they want so they have to make choice about what they do/don’t get.

ILikeItWhatIsIt · 05/12/2023 17:57

Sorry to say but, yes, they do sound like brats.

frozendaisy · 05/12/2023 17:58

Do a milk test, pour the supermarket milk into a branded bottle, see if they drink it.

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UncleHerbie · 05/12/2023 17:59

I’m with @ILikeItWhatIsIt - they’re well on the way to bratdom.

Jellycatspyjamas · 05/12/2023 18:00

Yes an 8 year old refusing to drink perfectly good milk because it’s not the right brand is pretty entitled unless there are additional needs in the mix.

Lilibert456 · 05/12/2023 18:01

Yep. Will only get worse if you keep pandering to them.

bluejelly · 05/12/2023 18:02

Stop giving them so many choices. If they start moaning just smile and change the subject. And don't ever feel guilty - they can sense that and will make more of a fuss.

Original poster
Appleblum · 05/12/2023 18:03

They did try the milk but didn't like it. To be honest the usual milk is much nicer but as a kid I would have drunk the other milk if that's all we had in the house.

OP posts:
NotFastButFurious · 05/12/2023 18:03

I’m on the fence about the milk……if it was cows milk then I’m fairly sure it all tastes pretty much the same but the non-dairy milks really do vary and some of them are quite vile.

Pumpkindoodles · 05/12/2023 18:04

Wanting nice things is fine
being rude and whiney when you have nice things that are not quite as nice as you’re used to, is not fine
of course it impacts other people, it just doesn’t impact DH.
if children won’t drink other milk who has to go looking for the right milk or worry about them or find alternatives? I Imagine it’s not dh?
if they’re pulling faces and being rude and implying somewhere is a bit rubbish, that impacts the people around trying to enjoy their experience
it also impacts your experience
and who is the one shopping for and making packed lunches every day? Not dh?

well done for spotting it. I think you need to change things, but you’ll need DHs buy in.

GoudaThunkIt · 05/12/2023 18:05

I expected your kids to be teens not 7/8!
Yes they are entitled.

WaitingfortheTardis · 05/12/2023 18:06

I suspect they would like the milk if they hadn't known it was different. I didn't know people bought branded milk.

I do think you need to be firm about things like school dinners/branded things etc, sometimes they just have to take what they are given. They can have a preference, but mustn't moan if something isn't what would have been their first choice.

ACynicalDad · 05/12/2023 18:06

Yes, your worst fears are true...

DaughterNo2 · 05/12/2023 18:07

This cannot be a genuine post!

Asuitableboy · 05/12/2023 18:09

I can see the reasons but they do need some things in their lives where they have to, and to deal with the wrong milk etc with out whining. What will happen at a friend’s house? That won’t go over well. It needs to shift to ‘in general we get x, but sometimes y happens’ ideally.

FancyFran · 05/12/2023 18:12

I would stop this nonsense now. I earn big money and we have Marks food in the main but we have also been very hard up after the crash.
Our children know how we struggled to keep them in school and then in a decent area. Both are now in their twenties and are bargain hunters. The are also both very kind.
My husband gets really angry with water snobs when so many people are dying for the lack of it. Take them to Lidl and watch people put food back when they don't have enough money. It's shameful and brings you down to earth. OP you need to think on.

GreatGateauxsby · 05/12/2023 18:15

ILikeItWhatIsIt · 05/12/2023 17:57

Sorry to say but, yes, they do sound like brats.

While fairly direct I’m inclined to agree it doesn’t sound great

ChristmasAgainWTAF · 05/12/2023 18:16

I'm guessing the branded milk you're talking about is big milk or cravendale possibly. I could understand if it was skimmed instead of whole, but not over a brand. One of my dcs only likes whole milk and hates semi as it's not as creamy but it's all the same after that!

I think the snobbery over getting a public bus is really bad tbh.

I would sit down and ask your dcs which toys they would like to donate to charity for children who have none. Remind them that some children don't have nice things, or get any milk/much food at all. Tell them they should be grateful of the milk you're offering them and if they want water in future instead that's fine. Don't give in and don't buy the brand one ever again, they'll learn.

piscofrisco · 05/12/2023 18:16

They sound a bit bratty. But u say that as the parent of two quite bratty DD's and two very bratty DSS's. Thus week alone they have variously strolled about the wrong kind of ham, the wrong socks (they weren't the 'expensive' ones, being g asked to wear a non branded t shirt as the Nike one was dirty. And it's only Tuesday. When my DD's do it they get a look or a talking to. When the DSS's do it it's a bit more complex as lots of it comes from their mum and is more difficult to correct. But it's not attractive in any of them!

AdventThief · 05/12/2023 18:16

Just being nosey what is the brand of milk and the back up brand?

Ardith · 05/12/2023 18:18

No, they’re just being honest with their mum. School food is mostly disgusting and nowhere near the quality of a packed lunch. Venice crowded water taxis suck and are even a bot scary, certainly nowhere near as nice as a private transfer.

You sound tired and fed up of their high standards and I get that. But they aren’t wrong to say that nice stuff is better than crappy stuff.

cardibach · 05/12/2023 18:18

Appleblum · 05/12/2023 18:03

They did try the milk but didn't like it. To be honest the usual milk is much nicer but as a kid I would have drunk the other milk if that's all we had in the house.

How can one milk be ‘nicer’ than another? It’s milk. Not a recipe. Nothing is added or taken away (except sone of the fat if you buy it skimmed or semi skimmed). It’s nonsense. Milk is milk.

allhellcantstopusnow · 05/12/2023 18:19

I am a self confessed snob; but milk is milk.

They're being dickheads.

Justmuddlingalong · 05/12/2023 18:19

We all like nice things, but as adults we know to appreciate them and not take them for granted.
Your kids are still young, so it's your job as parents to teach them to be grateful for what they have.
Not doing that runs the risk of them growing up spoiled and ungrateful.

Ardith · 05/12/2023 18:20

cardibach · 05/12/2023 18:18

How can one milk be ‘nicer’ than another? It’s milk. Not a recipe. Nothing is added or taken away (except sone of the fat if you buy it skimmed or semi skimmed). It’s nonsense. Milk is milk.

Show quote history

If it’s fresh, then I agree milk is milk.

If it’s near the expiry date but still in date, then some milk is absolutely disgusting.

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