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Original poster

Are my kids spoilt/entitled?

277 replies

Appleblum · 05/12/2023 17:48

Several incidents struck me about my kids' behaviour recently. For example:

  • our grocer sold out of their favourite milk and our backup brand from the supermarket was also sold out. I bought supermarket own brand milk and they refused it after trying as it 'tastes like vomit'. The milk was left untouched and both kids went without milk for 2 days before I restocked with their regular brand.
  • they ask for home made packed lunches everyday as they don't like school food. If I'm unable to do a packed lunch they'll begrudgingly eat school food for a day but will whine about it once they're home, or choose to go hungry until I pick them up.
  • on holiday in Venice they were very happy on the private water taxi but didn't like the crowded water buses. They pulled faces until I gave them a strict talking to.

DH doesn't think it's an issue as their behaviour does not negatively affect other people, and he feels that it means they just have high standards for themselves (they like nice food and the taxi is definitely more comfortable). I agree with him to an extent but also feel abit uneasy. I don't want them to turn into brats! They are 7 and 8, should I be worried?

OP posts:
Procrastination4 · 05/12/2023 19:41

Appleblum · 05/12/2023 18:29

@AdventThief the usual milk is in an unbranded bottle we get from our local shop. The backup brand is duchy organic unhomogenised whole milk. Try it, it's fab!

Ah that makes it easier to see why your children don’t like the back up brand. We used to have unhomogenised milk at my grandparents’ farm and I absolutely hated it! It was “thick” to drink and turned tea an orange colour-urgh! I shudder to think of it now. I far, far preferred the milk we had at home (I consumed milk like a calf when I was young! ) So I wouldn’t think that your children are spoiled Re the milk. Try them with another brand of homogenised milk and see if they’ve the same reaction. My instinct is that they won’t.

Whippetlovely · 05/12/2023 19:41

Op you asked the question and then defend thier behaviour so it not going to change. Yes they are spoiled other people will think they are brats but it’s learned behaviour so you won’t care.

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 05/12/2023 19:42

In 5 years time your life will be a living hell.

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Families
ButterCupPie · 05/12/2023 19:42

ILikeItWhatIsIt · 05/12/2023 17:57

Sorry to say but, yes, they do sound like brats.

I have to agree

SabrinaThwaite · 05/12/2023 19:43

Let me guess - your children have never turned right on the airplane?

HarryOHayandBettyOBarley · 05/12/2023 19:44

I don't think they sound 'bratty' tbh. My kids refuse all manner of food. Its more an inability to regulate their emotions than anything else. They will grow out of it.

Have you tried talking to them about things? They are very young and will be very influenced by you and their father at this age.

ButterCupPie · 05/12/2023 19:44

wiseoldcat · 05/12/2023 18:49

There are loads of milk brands. Cravendale, Yeo Valley, supermarket brands, Duchy Organic etc etc. - and that's just the dairy. You have all the non-dairy milks too like Alpro, Oatly etc. Everything is branded.

Show quote history

Yes. I get the Müller milk at our local corner shop because it's the cheapest.

3WildOnes · 05/12/2023 19:45

Appleblum · 05/12/2023 18:29

@AdventThief the usual milk is in an unbranded bottle we get from our local shop. The backup brand is duchy organic unhomogenised whole milk. Try it, it's fab!

I love the duchy unhomogenised whole milk but it can have lumps of cream in it so I can I can understand if they aren't used to it.

Puffalicious · 05/12/2023 19:45

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 05/12/2023 19:42

In 5 years time your life will be a living hell.

Absolutely. Teen brats will be total hell.

What if they go to camp/ school holiday away/ friend's house & don't like the milk/ food, will they whine or just not eat? Pretty ridiculous.

Puffalicious · 05/12/2023 19:46

SabrinaThwaite · 05/12/2023 19:43

Let me guess - your children have never turned right on the airplane?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Finestreason · 05/12/2023 19:47

3WildOnes · 05/12/2023 19:45

I love the duchy unhomogenised whole milk but it can have lumps of cream in it so I can I can understand if they aren't used to it.

Show quote history

I love it too. It is delicious. The Daylesford Organic is also tasty but I don’t like the bag that it is in.

WonderingWanda · 05/12/2023 19:48

They are totally entitled to dislike things but I think how they do that sounds a bit rude and spoilt. My dd has real sensory issues with taste, texture , smell and noise and would also refuse to eat or drink certain things and does find noisy crowds a challenge. She knows it's not ok to be rude about it though.

SwishSwashSwooshSwersh · 05/12/2023 19:50

These points could relate to sensory issues - taste texture in mouth and noise/business from crowded places

Minglingpringle · 05/12/2023 19:55

Appleblum · 05/12/2023 18:29

@AdventThief the usual milk is in an unbranded bottle we get from our local shop. The backup brand is duchy organic unhomogenised whole milk. Try it, it's fab!

So presumably they don’t like the organic stuff because it isn’t homogenised and has bits of cream floating in it?

That’s not irrational.

Original poster
Appleblum · 05/12/2023 19:55

SabrinaThwaite · 05/12/2023 19:43

Let me guess - your children have never turned right on the airplane?

Oh I never knew that was an option? 😂😂

OP posts:
notforonesecond · 05/12/2023 19:58

The school dinners thing is pretty normal for kids.

The milk thing is also normal as far as kids having insane preferences for things and turning their noses up at stuff goes. It just sounds bad because what they’re being fussy about is so poncy. Milk in a branded bottle, oh the horror!

The water bus thing is a problem. They’re kids. They’re allowed to not like having to stand up. They not allowed to get away with forgetting they’re on a wonderful holiday other kids can only dream of. But if they don’t know that’s the case, that your fault isn’t it?

Nazzywish · 05/12/2023 19:59

School dinners is a universal complaint from.most kids so that's normal.

Milk though- no, I wouldn't be entertaining that nonsense. Your pandering to it eventually which is what's driving it more.

Yes at 7 and 8 if they're like this your in for a rough ride with their general manners in more challenging times.

Finestreason · 05/12/2023 20:04

The water bus thing is a problem. They’re kids. They’re allowed to not like having to stand up. They not allowed to get away with forgetting they’re on a wonderful holiday other kids can only dream of. But if they don’t know that’s the case, that your fault isn’t it?

But why is there an expectation of them liking the holiday? Just because it’s a nice holiday doesn’t mean it is pleasant for everyone. I hated some of my nice family holidays when I was a child. I would still not like them as an adult. It was simply a matter of preference not entitlement. Being on holiday can be miserable for a child, they don’t always have to be thankful and in awe of their life opportunities .

Minglingpringle · 05/12/2023 20:10

Children often complain about stuff they don’t like at home, unfortunately, because that is where they are safe and comfortable. Your job is to decide what preferences you are and are not willing to accommodate, stick to your guns so they understand where the boundaries are and don’t constantly test them, and then make sure they understand about gratitude and politeness. You will probably not totally eradicate whinging, however, but you can do your best.

They sound a bit fussy about their food but some children are more fussy than others.

I don’t see looking miserable on a crowded boat as a problem. They didn’t do anything ill-mannered. I think only in your head are you comparing it to the luxurious water taxi and deducing that your children will only travel in water taxis. They felt crowded and uncomfortable in the moment. Telling them they are snobs may just create snobbery.

If they use public transport generally they will get wide life experience and just accept different ways of travelling as part of life.

Justmuddlingalong · 05/12/2023 20:11

They have to learn to appreciate that the holiday is for the family. That everyone has their favourite bits and should suck up the things they find less enjoyable. That's a life lesson that will serve them well.

GettingColdFeet · 05/12/2023 20:12

My son is 8yo and he's totally fine to have an opinion but I won't abide rudeness. So yes he can say he doesn't like something, but he would get a stern talking to about saying it tastes like vomit.

My kids also only get packed lunch if they make it. I'll happily buy food for lunches but I won't make it (I provide school lunches!). Could be a way forward if they want packed lunches especially when they realise they need to give up their time to make it themselves.

Allwelcone · 05/12/2023 20:12

Op are you worried they're lacking in resilience really? Like they should have more of a roll-your-sleeves-up-this-is-how-it-is attitude?
The examples you've given aren't dire imo, have you noticed any other worrying "precious" behaviours? E.g excessive fussiness, self-protectiveness, rudeness.

Glipsy · 05/12/2023 20:13

I know a few kids like this. Hate to say it but it totally comes from the parents in the ones I know. Not all rich kids do it - the general ‘circle’ has a similar level of income but some of the parents do tend to talk a certain way, and it’s not surprising the kids pick up on it. I think of it as ‘privilege as taste’.

Theyre not the most popular kids. At a certain age, other kids tend to realise that listing brands and resorts and airline statuses isn’t a particularly entertaining activity. But there’s a niche for everyone in the world and since the parents seem to have the same…interests… there must be loads of adults like that as well, so I’m sure they’ll be OK, as long as they end up having money….

Bouledeneige · 05/12/2023 20:14

Re the milk. I always thought my sister made a rod for her own back by always buying the same brand of yoghurt for her DC (and other groceries). Her DS then wouldn't eat any other brand - so swapping around is a good idea generally.

Yeah the water taxi isn't good.

SwordToFlamethrower · 05/12/2023 20:15

How the hell does milk taste different because it comes from a differently packaged bottle?

Yes. Spoiled brats.