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Original poster

Are my kids spoilt/entitled?

277 replies

Appleblum · 05/12/2023 17:48

Several incidents struck me about my kids' behaviour recently. For example:

  • our grocer sold out of their favourite milk and our backup brand from the supermarket was also sold out. I bought supermarket own brand milk and they refused it after trying as it 'tastes like vomit'. The milk was left untouched and both kids went without milk for 2 days before I restocked with their regular brand.
  • they ask for home made packed lunches everyday as they don't like school food. If I'm unable to do a packed lunch they'll begrudgingly eat school food for a day but will whine about it once they're home, or choose to go hungry until I pick them up.
  • on holiday in Venice they were very happy on the private water taxi but didn't like the crowded water buses. They pulled faces until I gave them a strict talking to.

DH doesn't think it's an issue as their behaviour does not negatively affect other people, and he feels that it means they just have high standards for themselves (they like nice food and the taxi is definitely more comfortable). I agree with him to an extent but also feel abit uneasy. I don't want them to turn into brats! They are 7 and 8, should I be worried?

OP posts:
wiseoldcat · 05/12/2023 18:49

43ontherocksporfavor · 05/12/2023 18:43

Since when is milk branded???

There are loads of milk brands. Cravendale, Yeo Valley, supermarket brands, Duchy Organic etc etc. - and that's just the dairy. You have all the non-dairy milks too like Alpro, Oatly etc. Everything is branded.

DazedandConfused1234 · 05/12/2023 18:52

ChristmasAgainWTAF · 05/12/2023 18:28

I think it's like people who will only eat Kellogs cereal because "it is a brand." They haven't tried own brands which are often alot nicer IMO; it is snobbery in it's finest.

I don't know about this. I am happy to buy own brand for almost everything, but branded cereals are noticeably superior in my opinion. Mind you, that is based on a slim selection anyway as I hate sugary or chocolate cereals. Maybe they are OK.

ChristmasAgainWTAF · 05/12/2023 18:53

@Wiccan · Today 18:49

43ontherocksporfavor · Today 18:43

'Since when is milk branded???
🤣 it isn't , my DH worked for a major UK milk producer and it was all the same they just changed the label run for each supermarket. Cracked him up every time he herd someone say " I much prefer Asda milk to Morrisons it's much creamier "

Like Cow&Gate & Aptimel baby formula, same factory (well it used to be anyway).

Interested in this thread?

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Families
43ontherocksporfavor · 05/12/2023 18:53

I just buy skimmed milk. Would t cross my mind. Milk is milk. Can’t believe a child knows about milk brands.

Original poster
Appleblum · 05/12/2023 18:54

MotherWol · 05/12/2023 18:42

If your car broke down and you had to take the bus, would you be rude or judgemental about the other passengers? What are your opinions of people who only use public transport? If a friend bought you Cadbury's as a gift would you say no because you only like Godiva?

That's the difference - preferences are fine, but rudeness isn't.

Show quote history

But they were not being judgemental about other passengers. They were unhappy about not getting a seat on the crowded bus and it showed on their faces because they are children and don't know how to mask it yet.

I think that's the issue I'm struggling with. I accept that it's perfectly reasonable for them to be unhappy about taking a bus, but I did not like that they were so obvious about it. However I am now second guessing if I should even expect them to be able to mask their unhappiness when they're so young... and aren't we always telling people to be true to themselves anyway? I certainly don't want my children to pretend to be happy in front of me when they're not. Ah parenting is so hard!

OP posts:
CWigtownshire · 05/12/2023 18:55

VERY spoiled. Mine get told they eat/drink whatever I have in the house. If they want a particular "brand" they can buy whatever they like when they're paying for it. Finances are very tight just now but we no way go without. If they don't like the milk then they can have tap water (council juice my kids call it ).

PlaidCushionProductions · 05/12/2023 18:56

Learned behaviour, are you and your DH the same?

ChristmasAgainWTAF · 05/12/2023 18:56

@DazedandConfused1234 I think years ago i would have agreed with you, now not so much.

PlaidCushionProductions · 05/12/2023 18:57

Appleblum · 05/12/2023 18:54

But they were not being judgemental about other passengers. They were unhappy about not getting a seat on the crowded bus and it showed on their faces because they are children and don't know how to mask it yet.

I think that's the issue I'm struggling with. I accept that it's perfectly reasonable for them to be unhappy about taking a bus, but I did not like that they were so obvious about it. However I am now second guessing if I should even expect them to be able to mask their unhappiness when they're so young... and aren't we always telling people to be true to themselves anyway? I certainly don't want my children to pretend to be happy in front of me when they're not. Ah parenting is so hard!

Show quote history

They won’t learn how to mask it, if you always pander to their sense of entitlement 🤷‍♀️

LeRougeEtLeNoir · 05/12/2023 18:58

Lol at the milk tasting different and even like vomit.
That was totally in their heads but not different to those children/teen who only accept Heinz ketchup and not supermarket brand imo.

I get finding the normal boats being busier and therefore not as nice but not acceptable to be grumpy about it.

School lunches… depending on their age, they can prepare their own lunch!!
(but tbh school lunches are usually crap so I see their point!).
Another answer would be fir your DH to step up and help on that front too (if too young to prepare said lunches)

Scottishskifun · 05/12/2023 19:01

The milk thing is ridiculous unless your usual milk is gold top and you were buying semi skimmed then it would taste different.

Personally I can't stand bratty behaviour if DS starts with it then he's soon shut down. I wouldn't have accepted them saying the milk tasted like vomit it's rude, food is expensive and I hate food waste and I would have called them out on it (and I do if my DS tries this sort of thing and he's 4 and knows not to do it).

The water taxi thing fine not to want to stand but again would have been clear well we are on holiday and have to get the water bus to get where we are going.

I wouldn't say they were spoilt but some of your examples are a bit bratty and would have been behaviours I would have pulled them up on if they were mine.

LeRougeEtLeNoir · 05/12/2023 19:01

I accept that it's perfectly reasonable for them to be unhappy about taking a bus,

Actually no. It’s not ok for them to be unhappy about it.
They are on hols, in a beautiful place many people have never been to. The way to go around it is by bus. They have to accept it.
If they don’t and only accept moving around in a personal car etc… then they should get to go to beautiful places like that.

If thé issue was that they had, shock horror, to be standing. Same.

ithinkthatmaybeimdreaming · 05/12/2023 19:03

Appleblum · 05/12/2023 18:03

They did try the milk but didn't like it. To be honest the usual milk is much nicer but as a kid I would have drunk the other milk if that's all we had in the house.

What??? How can one brand of milk be nicer than another?? It's just milk, it's all the same.

Sorry OP, but they sound like brats and if you don't do something soon it will only get worse.

wronginalltherightways · 05/12/2023 19:05

They sound rather ungrateful re the milk. I'd have pulled out a milk carton from my recycling box and washed it out, then poured the milk into a carton they're used to seeing after such complaints. Or just told them they're having it, end of.

Bagpuss2022 · 05/12/2023 19:12

Yes they do sound bratty to me and no one likes a spoilt child. It’s fine to have a preference it’s the actions when they don’t get that is the problem

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 05/12/2023 19:18

They don't sound good at all OP... There's nothing wrong with having preferences and favourites but 7 and 8 year olds turning their noses up at milk sounds really snobby. You need to nip their behaviour in the bud.

ShirleyPhallus · 05/12/2023 19:18

piscofrisco · 05/12/2023 18:16

They sound a bit bratty. But u say that as the parent of two quite bratty DD's and two very bratty DSS's. Thus week alone they have variously strolled about the wrong kind of ham, the wrong socks (they weren't the 'expensive' ones, being g asked to wear a non branded t shirt as the Nike one was dirty. And it's only Tuesday. When my DD's do it they get a look or a talking to. When the DSS's do it it's a bit more complex as lots of it comes from their mum and is more difficult to correct. But it's not attractive in any of them!

When my DD's do it they get a look or a talking to

I don’t think the Mumsnet “look” is as effective as people think it is!

Glasgowgal200 · 05/12/2023 19:19

Is the milk milkshake or plain milk as I thought milk is milk and it all tastes the same with whatever brand it is unless it's semi-skimmed/skimmed milk

carbon60 · 05/12/2023 19:21

Yes very hth

fetchacloth · 05/12/2023 19:21

I think you're brave posting this on MN OP and I admire the fact that you have already picked up on a potential behavioural issue with your kids.
The milk issue highlights it the best, and had I thrown a strop like this as a child, my father would have dealt with this the same way that you did.
Clearly your kids are used to a nice lifestyle but they should also learn to appreciate that they can't always have everything they want in life too. That's setting them up for potential failure and disappointment in later life.
However, DH needs to go along with this too.

Puffalicious · 05/12/2023 19:26

ChristmasAgainWTAF · 05/12/2023 18:46

'I can taste the difference with a lot of things, even blind tests.'

No that wasn't my point, they are different yes. I just think with 'some' brands 'some people can gravitate towards an overpriced brand because it is better. It must be right? Because it costs more?

It's like when I gave a relative some aldi choceur chocolate recently (cue shock horror it was from Aldi & better than they're usual!)

And they realise the difference is purely marketing costs 🙄

MuckyPlucky · 05/12/2023 19:28

All kids will try their luck at a certain level of finicky-ness… the point is, you shouldn’t pander to it from the outset. Set out expectations & messages early-doors about gratitude / appreciation / those who have less / operating within our means etc.

You get the brattiness levels you allow / cultivate.

Definitelynotem · 05/12/2023 19:30

It sounds very bratty to me. Of course everyone would prefer a private taxi over a crowded bus, but a lot of people would be grateful to being going on holiday at all and a lot of people wouldn’t be able to afford the private option. There’s nothing wrong with having more than others but I do think we should be grateful and thankful for it rather than taking it as a given.

To me it’s not really a case of ‘masking’ the upset, I don’t drive and prefer to take a taxi, but occasionally when I have to get the bus I don’t feel grumpy about it. It’s part of life, you don’t always get what you want.

Sugargliderwombat · 05/12/2023 19:31

I think the difference op is that most children would find getting a bus boat in Venice exciting / a novelty. Most children not worried about the milk, if they didnt like it they just dont drink it. If they didn't like their lunch theyre over it by the time they are home. Your children are spending time miserable over things other children aren't that fussed about. It's a shame they are seeing lots of normal life through a negative lense.

Finestreason · 05/12/2023 19:39

I am picky about food, including milk, and wouldn’t want to eat most school dinners.

I don’t like crowded public transport. But since I am adult I make decisions for myself so I don’t have to complain to someone else about it nor am I at someone else’s mercy for these things.

But wanting tastier foods and not liking public transportation as a kid who isn’t probably influencing these decisions isn’t that awful, is it?