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Original poster

Are my kids spoilt/entitled?

277 replies

Appleblum · 05/12/2023 17:48

Several incidents struck me about my kids' behaviour recently. For example:

  • our grocer sold out of their favourite milk and our backup brand from the supermarket was also sold out. I bought supermarket own brand milk and they refused it after trying as it 'tastes like vomit'. The milk was left untouched and both kids went without milk for 2 days before I restocked with their regular brand.
  • they ask for home made packed lunches everyday as they don't like school food. If I'm unable to do a packed lunch they'll begrudgingly eat school food for a day but will whine about it once they're home, or choose to go hungry until I pick them up.
  • on holiday in Venice they were very happy on the private water taxi but didn't like the crowded water buses. They pulled faces until I gave them a strict talking to.

DH doesn't think it's an issue as their behaviour does not negatively affect other people, and he feels that it means they just have high standards for themselves (they like nice food and the taxi is definitely more comfortable). I agree with him to an extent but also feel abit uneasy. I don't want them to turn into brats! They are 7 and 8, should I be worried?

OP posts:
whynotwhatknot · 05/12/2023 20:15

yes they are-branded milk? give me strength

DoooooWhoop · 05/12/2023 20:16

It seems to be a general thing these days of kids acting so entitled about everything and given too much choice. We as a society need to rein it in.

43ontherocksporfavor · 05/12/2023 20:17

OP you sound like a advertising mogul’s dream!

Interested in this thread?

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Families
willWillSmithsmith · 05/12/2023 20:17

I think they do need pulling up on their attitude. My children had nice things and nice holidays when they were young but they were never allowed to be brattish. It’s good you are aware of it as I don’t think you’d want your kids to be the type of people, when older, who are rude to waiters etc.

Maybe stop buying some of the things they particularly make a fuss of (I would never have known one milk brand from another, it all came in plain glass bottles!) and don’t give them too many choices.

BrimfulOfMash · 05/12/2023 20:17

Being in Venice is itself a fantastic experience.
Taking a public boat is normal.
If they are unable to just get on with perfectly normal things that others manage, even if they would prefer something different, without being displeased then yes, they are spoilt.

There are loads of things I would prefer but can’t afford all the time. As adults we understand that, and kids need to understand that.

And sleepovers and staying with other people is going to be hard if they describe any milk other than Duchy Originals as vomit. They need to know how to integrate into a range of situations. Not just a privileged little palace that you and DH build around them.

Minglingpringle · 05/12/2023 20:18

notforonesecond · 05/12/2023 19:58

The school dinners thing is pretty normal for kids.

The milk thing is also normal as far as kids having insane preferences for things and turning their noses up at stuff goes. It just sounds bad because what they’re being fussy about is so poncy. Milk in a branded bottle, oh the horror!

The water bus thing is a problem. They’re kids. They’re allowed to not like having to stand up. They not allowed to get away with forgetting they’re on a wonderful holiday other kids can only dream of. But if they don’t know that’s the case, that your fault isn’t it?

Children don’t choose the holidays they go on, parents do. Often, they are chosen because it’s the parents’ idea of a good time. Children are allowed not to enjoy, for example, sightseeing round ancient cities.

Telling them they’re wrong to not be enjoying it because other people would love to do it is like telling someone who hates sport that they’re wrong to be bored at some major sports event because others would kill to be there.

3luckystars · 05/12/2023 20:20

I still think you should do a blind milk taste test, I find it hard to believe that milk can be so different that they would notice it vastly different like that (and I love milk)

ChampagneLassie · 05/12/2023 20:24

do different brands of milk taste different ? I’m assuming you mean something like Yeo. Valley and Waitrose organic v Waitrose own brand? I’ve never done a compare (and I currently can’t eat dairy) but surely it’s not v different??? They sound brattish. I think you need to pull them up and @Dowhadiddydiddydum advice is good

ChristmasAgainWTAF · 05/12/2023 20:26

For anybody that may have missed this, I have pasted it in for context re the whole milk saga. ⬇️⬇️⬇️ Op just buy Asdas I'm sure they would like that!

Procrastination4 · Today 19:41

Appleblum · Today 18:29

@AdventThief the usual milk is in an unbranded bottle we get from our local shop. The backup brand is duchy organic unhomogenised whole milk. Try it, it's fab!
Ah that makes it easier to see why your children don’t like the back up brand. We used to have unhomogenised milk at my grandparents’ farm and I absolutely hated it! It was “thick” to drink and turned tea an orange colour-urgh! I shudder to think of it now. I far, far preferred the milk we had at home (I consumed milk like a calf when I was young! ) So I wouldn’t think that your children are spoiled Re the milk. Try them with another brand of homogenised milk and see if they’ve the same reaction. My instinct is that they won’t.

Myfabby · 05/12/2023 20:27

allhellcantstopusnow · 05/12/2023 18:19

I am a self confessed snob; but milk is milk.

They're being dickheads.

In what world is it normal to call children dickheads?

Original poster
Appleblum · 05/12/2023 20:31

Minglingpringle · 05/12/2023 20:10

Children often complain about stuff they don’t like at home, unfortunately, because that is where they are safe and comfortable. Your job is to decide what preferences you are and are not willing to accommodate, stick to your guns so they understand where the boundaries are and don’t constantly test them, and then make sure they understand about gratitude and politeness. You will probably not totally eradicate whinging, however, but you can do your best.

They sound a bit fussy about their food but some children are more fussy than others.

I don’t see looking miserable on a crowded boat as a problem. They didn’t do anything ill-mannered. I think only in your head are you comparing it to the luxurious water taxi and deducing that your children will only travel in water taxis. They felt crowded and uncomfortable in the moment. Telling them they are snobs may just create snobbery.

If they use public transport generally they will get wide life experience and just accept different ways of travelling as part of life.

This makes so much sense. Thank you!

Yes you are right that they are always whining and complaining to me because I am their 'safe space'. It's not as though they throw tantrums in school when the food is not to their liking, they just quietly choose not to eat and wait until they get home after school. In preschool when they had a good cook we never had this issue at all.

It is also true that they weren't comfortable standing on the water bus - I was the one who leapt to the conclusion that they didn't like it because it was public transport. I really do have to reflect on my own internalised snobbery on this issue.

On a lighter note it seems like DH was right then? You just put it so much more succinctly than he did.

OP posts:
Gillypie23 · 05/12/2023 20:33

Yeah they are brats

3luckystars · 05/12/2023 20:35

It’s worrying alright if there was a zombie apocalypse or some situation when they had to live on different foods and they couldn’t do it. I’d be setting up bush tucker trials for them for fun over Christmas.

I can understand if it was the other way around, the unpasteurised farm milk straight from the cow would taste vastly different to the milk that they are used to but just one supermarket milk and another, there can’t be that much of a difference in the taste and texture.

complexshennanigans · 05/12/2023 20:36

yep my kids are exactly like this. I just accept it.

complexshennanigans · 05/12/2023 20:37

at the end of the day can't be bothered to worry about it

ssd · 05/12/2023 20:38

The things you learn on mn......so is there a difference between supermarket milk and like cravendale?

CommonOrNot · 05/12/2023 20:40

Shocked that people find this spoiled. Sounds like kids being difficult as normal to me.

PinotPony · 05/12/2023 20:41

Are you sure you're not Catherine Tate..?

3luckystars · 05/12/2023 20:45

Well unpasteurised farm milk straight from the cow is very different and (smells a bit like cows) it is thicker and I wouldn’t be able to drink it but my dad loves it. It’s very different, to me anyway.

My uncle always had this and the supermarket milk for guests separately in the fridge, one time he mixed them in the milk carton and it burst. That could be just a coincidence but to me they would be very different type liquids.

But supermarket milks would be very similar to each other in my opinion.

GameOverBoys · 05/12/2023 20:45

Not liking certain foods and crowded places is fine. Acting bratty isn’t.

PaperDoIIs · 05/12/2023 20:47

@Appleblum as an adult do you have preferences? Do you have things you'd maybe internally pull a face at? Or think something not very nice?

Why shouldn't kids be allowed to feel the same? Just remember they're not old enough to control their reactions. Not just that, but they have no control or choice (as they're not the ones paying or making those decisions) so that also makes it hard to understand. Did you love the water bus, or did you just hid your dislike better?

SabrinaThwaite · 05/12/2023 20:47

We used to have unhomogenised milk at my grandparents’ farm and I absolutely hated it!

It was most likely unpasteurised, as opposed to just unhomogenised.

Teenangels · 05/12/2023 20:50

I have not read the whole thread.

I have brats, which is my own doing. My kids would never eat a child's menu because they preferred the adults menu, scallops, lobster are a food of choice.

They would also hate a crowded water taxi, because it's crowded don't get to see the sights.

Orangeandgold · 05/12/2023 20:53

My daughter had similar characteristics when she was younger but only for certain foods - never milk, that is always been the same (although she hates semi skimmed and the thing below that). For example she hated frozen veg and absolutely loved veg that we would get from the farmers market. I could taste the difference and I know so many of our foods these days are awful.

I had to tell my daughter to fix her attitude when she doesn’t get her way and now she has improved. You are allowed to dislike something but there is a polite way to share this.

It is good to have standards but when they become teens and if it turns into an attitude that resembles “my way or the high way” or they might be in a social setting and their behaviour might be considered rude to others - then it can become a problem. Which is why as my daughter went into her teen years I have been much stricter with this behaviour compared to when she was younger.

TheOldLadyOfThreadneedleStreet · 05/12/2023 20:53

My DS could tell the difference between brands of milk , I tested him when he was 5 as I couldn’t believe it. But he reliably identified tescos, sainsburys and Waitrose semi skimmed. But he liked all of them! However, that’s an aside.

There is a massive difference between homogenised and unhomogenised milks and I think many kids used to unhomogenised would complain at homogenised. My kids didn’t eat much of some school meals and came home asking for food, that is normal. My kids loved taxis (not that we’ve been to Venice) and were a bit wary of public transport until they were older and got used to it when we used it a bit more. Habituate them to bus / train rides and have a positive attitude yourself, get them to help plan routes, it can be fun. Use public transport for activities they enjoy and I bet they’ll be fine on public transport in a few weeks.