Are my kids spoilt/entitled?

[Appleblum]

Several incidents struck me about my kids' behaviour recently. For example:

• our grocer sold out of their favourite milk and our backup brand from the supermarket was also sold out. I bought supermarket own brand milk and they refused it after trying as it 'tastes like vomit'. The milk was left untouched and both kids went without milk for 2 days before I restocked with their regular brand.

• they ask for home made packed lunches everyday as they don't like school food. If I'm unable to do a packed lunch they'll begrudgingly eat school food for a day but will whine about it once they're home, or choose to go hungry until I pick them up.

• on holiday in Venice they were very happy on the private water taxi but didn't like the crowded water buses. They pulled faces until I gave them a strict talking to.

DH doesn't think it's an issue as their behaviour does not negatively affect other people, and he feels that it means they just have high standards for themselves (they like nice food and the taxi is definitely more comfortable). I agree with him to an extent but also feel abit uneasy. I don't want them to turn into brats! They are 7 and 8, should I be worried?

We all have preferences, OP. But we have to learn to not pull faces when met with something that's not our first choice.
That attitude can verge on snobbiness, which is hard to curtail if they grow up expecting everything just how they like it?

You’ve been taken in by marketing. Milk is milk. It has no ingredients that can be varied. It’s a pure ingredient.

That's pure daft.

Of course it can be different! It depends on the herds, what they are fed, the grass, location!
And the supermarket brands that I've tried aren't as nice. (I'm in Ireland, btw, so we've great options in this regard!)

That's horrible. No need to be so spiteful in your reply.

Yes, this is my point too

It's not bratty to have a preference.

It is bratty to have a tantrum and whine about not being provided with that preference all the time.

Accepting disappointment is a lifeskill, one your kids are still learning.

You can't always get what you want. Time they learned that. How'd they manage if you lost your income and couldn't have these nicer things? They'd manage fine. They'd have to, same as everyone else less fortunate.

cereal. The supermarket ones are ... fine, we all eat them happily; the branded version eg Kellogg's is nicer.

You mustn't have tried Kellogs honey nut cereal with literally no honey, much nicer supermarket ones out there. I think a lot of this brand worshipping for certain items is psychological.

Yep - brats in training. But good on you OP for recognising it and nipping it in the bud. Your DH needs to get onside or you will be in for one hell of a ride when adolescence hits.

Not spiteful at all lots of other people have used the word brats . It's a forum you don't get to police what opinions we have !

duchy organic unhomogenised whole milk

Im sorry OP but that is the most MN thing I’ve ever seen. I’m dying here 😂

Yes

@Appleblum I actually don't like milk but my boy does. I might give it a go though.

I can taste the difference with a lot of things, even blind tests.

Coke Vs pepsi
Diet coke Vs coke Vs coke zero
Heinz ketchup Vs other ketchup
Ambrosia custard Vs other shop custard
Kellogg's cornflakes Vs random cornflakes

There are a lot of things I have no taste preference for, and I buy loads of own brand things, but those are examples of things where I can taste the difference and have a preference.

From your description I thought you were going to say your kids are teenagers!

7 or 8 does seem a bit young to get moody over having to use public transport-normally kids that age only really whinge when you say no to something they've decided they really want, or if they get overtired.

Are they picking up an entitled attitude from a family member they're around a lot? or families of school friends they see a lot? Kids are more perceptive and mimic more than we realize they will. It seems weird for kids that young to genuinely have that kind of petty snobbery.

They're still more than young enough to be educated and trained out of it, though.

To me being 'spoiled' isn't necessarily material wealth- it's more to do with a lack of gratitude and gracious manners/ good breeding. Kids of any social class can be ungrateful brats without the right upbringing.

DH doesn't think it's an issue as their behaviour does not negatively affect other people

I'll take a wild stab in the dark that he's not making the packed lunches and being whined at if he's too busy?

In what way is that not affecting you? Or don't you count as "other people"? Does he just mean outside the family, and if so, why? How their behaviour affects family members is also important.

If your car broke down and you had to take the bus, would you be rude or judgemental about the other passengers? What are your opinions of people who only use public transport? If a friend bought you Cadbury's as a gift would you say no because you only like Godiva?

That's the difference - preferences are fine, but rudeness isn't.

Since when is milk branded???

I don’t think it’s bratty but maybe a little bit snobby (sorry for using such a mean sounding word about kids).

I sometimes think people like this lack a bit of independence and self sufficiency, for eg if they ever have to travel solo and use public transport - will this cause problems? Will they kick up a fuss, would they think they’re “above” getting a bus? There’s a difference between preferring to take the car to thinking you’re too good for the bus. Maybe they need a bit of a reality check that things won’t always be this cushy perhaps?

So they’ll never go to London and travel in the tube? Fly in a plane on economy? They will miss out on a lot of experiences. They sound stuck up op and they’ve got their ideas from somewhere….

Of course it's not bratty to prefer packed lunch.

The issue comes from the behaviour if, on occasion, their mum isn't able to make a packed lunch.

'I can taste the difference with a lot of things, even blind tests.'

No that wasn't my point, they are different yes. I just think with 'some' brands 'some people can gravitate towards an overpriced brand because it is better. It must be right? Because it costs more?

It's like when I gave a relative some aldi choceur chocolate recently (cue shock horror it was from Aldi & better than they're usual!)

I also thought they sounded like moody teenagers when I read your post - was surprised they were 8!

How does their attitude pan out when they're at friends houses, playing?

The milk thing is strange - claiming that unbranded milk tastes like vomit is strange - most dairy milk tastes very similar. I imagine if you put the unbranded milk in the branded bottle they likely wouldn't know the difference.

I think that kids echo messages from parents though, so if you are snobbish about unbranded stuff then they will be too. A lot of this stuff is psychological and comes from messages we receive from other people and the world around us.

But of course, children should be perfectly entitled to have the same opinions as adults. I don't really agree with people who say certain things are not good enough for adults but are good enough for children, especially when the children do know the difference.

Which brands of milk are there? Do you mean milk altogether?

🤣 it isn't , my DH worked for a major UK milk producer and it was all the same they just changed the label run for each supermarket. Cracked him up every time he herd someone say " I much prefer Asda milk to Morrisons it's much creamier " .