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Original poster

As a ‘common law wife’ do I have any legal rights?

163 replies

Anon0mum · 26/11/2023 12:57

my partner and I have been together 10 years and we have two children. My mother-in-law this past year has been battling with cancer (thankfully she seems to be making a good recovery)

Her recent battle has set off some anxieties for me. If either of our parents did pass ( I’m hoping it won’t be for a very very long time) and my partner/myself were in a situation where we aren’t able to make choices for ourselves, ( ie decisions about medical care)

Would choices fall on the respective partner, or would they fall on our sons? My biggest anxiety is that they will be having to make big decisions about their mum/ Dad,. It’s not something I want them to have to think about or question their decisions later.

Is this something where myself/ partner can take over and legally make this decisions for each other or Is it worth my partner and myself getting a document written up that gives each other permission legally to make those decisions, in the absence of our parents.

Thanks

OP posts:
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7
HeliumChestedTrollop · 26/11/2023 12:58

no rights no such thing as a common law wife

Welshphoenix · 26/11/2023 12:59

Common law wife does not exist in the UK so you would have no rights at all

Wishitsnows · 26/11/2023 12:59

No rights at all there is no such thing as a common law wife. Decisions about you would be made by your sons

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Family law
SantaBarbaraMonica · 26/11/2023 12:59

Why don’t you just get married? That’s THE legal document you can draw up in a heartbeat. You don’t need a wedding or anything. Probably cheaper and more watertight than any solicitor drawn document to attempt to do the w same without a marriage.

mostlydrinkstea · 26/11/2023 13:00

No you don't. Your children are your next of kin and not your partner.

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 26/11/2023 13:00

You aren't legally related unless you're married. Any reason why you wouldn't formalise your relationship with a legal marriage or civil partnership contract if this worries you? You're asking about a legal contract but that already exists!

Hellocatshome · 26/11/2023 13:01

No such thing as common law wife. BUT you can have anyone as your Power of Attorney for both financial and health/social needs. You can set it up now while you dont need it and then it just comes into force when needed.

SM4713 · 26/11/2023 13:02

You could both set up a power of attorney for each other. They are seperate for financial and health decisions. No idea if that would be cheaper than just getting married though!

sparklefresh · 26/11/2023 13:02

Make a will and powers of attorney.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 26/11/2023 13:03

Next of kin isn't defined by law. If you're talkng about medical decisions they will apply common sense. When I had an accident the hospital rang my then partner not my daughter.

YireosDodeAver · 26/11/2023 13:04

No rights at all.

The mechanism by which you become each other's legal next of kin and gain all the protections you hope for is known as "getting married"

It doesn't have to be a big fussy do, and you can do it without the patriarchal baggage of marriage by opting for a "civil partnership" (which has the same status) if you prefer.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 26/11/2023 13:05

You can set up power of attorney's but there is no such thing as a common law spouse and you have no legal protections.

For that, you need to get married. Legally, you and your partner are not even related.

BIossomtoes · 26/11/2023 13:08

sparklefresh · 26/11/2023 13:02

Make a will and powers of attorney.

Or get married. It would cost much less.

Crabwoman · 26/11/2023 13:10

Common law relationships do not have any legal status in the UK. Scotland has slightly different laws I believe, which protect property rights.

If a civil partnership or marriage are not on the cards, I'd speak to a solicitor about a cohabitation agreement and power of attorney ASAP.

Wherearemykeysagain · 26/11/2023 13:10

If you don’t want to be married for whatever reason the best thing is to have a civil partnership. You don’t have to be in a same sex relationship now.

Pippu · 26/11/2023 13:11

it worth my partner and myself getting a document written up that gives each other permission legally to make those decisions, in the absence of our parents.

You should have wills whether married or not. You need a solicitor for this.

You can do LPA whether married or not. You can do this yourself.
DH and I have power of attorney for each other and our DC are also named as attorneys.
As well as those things you would be better off married. You don't have to have a "wedding", I didn't. Just the register office and a bit of paperwork.

MarmaladeMaggie · 26/11/2023 13:11

If you want the security and protection of marriage… then you have to get married.

RoseAndRose · 26/11/2023 13:12

Next of kin is a fairly woolly concept in UK, and a non-marital partner who is the co-habiting other parent of the DC of the afflicted is very likely to be the one who is consulted.

But if there was another close kin relative who thought it should be them, things could get a bit messy just at the very time you need that least.

Marriage/CP is the best (and cheapest, and simplest) solution, but if that's not for you then POA.

Wherearemykeysagain · 26/11/2023 13:12

Bobtheamazinggingerdog · 26/11/2023 13:00

You aren't legally related unless you're married. Any reason why you wouldn't formalise your relationship with a legal marriage or civil partnership contract if this worries you? You're asking about a legal contract but that already exists!

Edited

And second this! Marriage and civil partnership as designed for absolutely this situation. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel and it doesn’t have to be a massive, expensive thing (or anything other than a legal contract). You can just go to the registry office in your jeans and t shirt.

CurlewKate · 26/11/2023 13:13

No. But you can get them if you go to a solicitor. Which you should do tomorrow.

IrresponsiblyCertainAboutSexualDimorphism · 26/11/2023 13:13

If you are solely concerned about your partner being able to make medical decisions for you, and vice versa, you can set up a health and welfare lasting power of attorney. If you want to add finance into the mix, you can do a LPA for that too. https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney. No need for marriage. But all of this is about the donor’s rights to be looked after by their attorney, not about their attorney’s rights.

In practice, if you’re the person who attends medical appointments with your partner, then the doctors take their lead from that. No-one ever asked to see my LPA for my mum, and no-one ever asked to see my marriage certificate when DH was ill.

There’s no such thing as a common law wife though. You need wills, and to ensure that if your DP left you (or you him) you would both be financially capable of supporting yourselves. If you’re a SAHM you’re very vulnerable.

Make, register or end a lasting power of attorney

How to make a lasting power of attorney (LPA): starting an application online, choosing an attorney, certifying a copy, changing an LPA.

https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney

N0TMYIDEA · 26/11/2023 13:14

Do you have a will and POA?

What about your house ? Do you own / rent ? If you own, how is it divided ?

what about your savings, pensions and life insurance ?

Your legal issues are a lot bigger than consent to medical treatment.

Aquamarine1029 · 26/11/2023 13:15

Just get married.

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 26/11/2023 13:17

We need daily ads on tv correcting this common law wife bobbins.

Legally your two adults who share a house.