As a ‘common law wife’ do I have any legal rights?

[Anon0mum]

my partner and I have been together 10 years and we have two children. My mother-in-law this past year has been battling with cancer (thankfully she seems to be making a good recovery)

Her recent battle has set off some anxieties for me. If either of our parents did pass ( I’m hoping it won’t be for a very very long time) and my partner/myself were in a situation where we aren’t able to make choices for ourselves, ( ie decisions about medical care)

Would choices fall on the respective partner, or would they fall on our sons? My biggest anxiety is that they will be having to make big decisions about their mum/ Dad,. It’s not something I want them to have to think about or question their decisions later.

Is this something where myself/ partner can take over and legally make this decisions for each other or Is it worth my partner and myself getting a document written up that gives each other permission legally to make those decisions, in the absence of our parents.

Thanks

A friend of mine's father remarried, there was a bit of an age gap. When the second marriage broke down he paid her a lump sum to buy a house for her and her children.

Then he was diagnosed with dementia and suddenly the second wife wasn't divorcing him any more.

My friend had to involve solicitors to get any inheritance.

I think the only reason she finally agreed was because as well as the lump sum from the sale of friend's father's house (he'd gone in to a care home) she inherited a half pension from him.

She was in her 30s and it is enough to live on if she chooses to not work.

OP get married / or a civil partnership.

Shocking isn't it?

You can spend a ton of money drawing up legal paperwork or you can spend a very small amount of money and sign some paperwork at a government office. That is marriage. The government has a standard process set up so that couples essentially have to form a personal corporation from scratch.

when one person in a long term partnership fears marriage they either don’t understand what marriage actually does or they are really saying they don’t want to protect the other person legally and financially and that should hurt.

@Ponderingwindow thats quite the statement you make there.

As someone in a long term relationship, who does not wish to get married, I have made financial provision for my partner in the event or split or death.

You miss my point that marriage costs half your assets and divorce costs more.

One of my parents spent tens of thousands of pounds in solicitors fees and costs getting divorced in a years-long process of stress, abuse and heartache. That parent never actually wanted to marry in the first place but could only access a mortgage offer if married, so was pushed into it and paid dearly for the privilege.

I know full well I’m a decent human who will provide for my partner and my children in any scenario. I can’t say for certain anyone else is decent, as you just can’t know even if you’ve been married for 25 years. I remain unmarried to best protect my children, my relationship, and our shared assets.

I believe you fail to see what different types of families there are out there.

You can’t make the best possible provision for your partner after you die outside marriage. Inheritance tax rules are very clear - no tax liability for a spouse, full liability for an unmarried partner. I couldn’t get a survivors’ pension without being married either, our marriage certificate was needed to register me as a beneficiary.

No you have no rights. To get rights you either pay a fortune to get legal documents or you get married.

My friend was quoted thousands in legal fees to get him and his gf of many years sorted financially. Instead they had a low key wedding day and a meal out.

Yes you will need something legally. Legally there is no such thing as '"common law wife", only if you are legally married.

So, you needed to produce a marriage certificate to get your survivor’s pension. I’m assuming that also extends to civil partners. And yet, if your spouse predeceases you and you want to keep your eligibility to their pension, you cannot marry or civil partner with anyone else or you lose your entitlement. So there’s one reason why a family different to yours would lose out by marrying.

As for inheritance tax - less than 4% of estates pay this tax and I’d suggest for the vast majority of people leaving a personal estate value of over £325,000 (with an additional leeway of £175,000 for the main residence if it’s passing to children) is not something they need to worry about. Indeed I have administered several estates for adults in my close family, including both of my parents, none were married at the time of their deaths, none paid or got close to paying IHT.

So, you needed to produce a marriage certificate to get your survivor’s pension.

Yes.

It’s actually 7% - and rising - of estates liable for inheritance tax and the obscene rise in the value of our house makes it something we definitely have to worry about. Just like the 10% of London owner occupiers whose house alone is valued at £1 million+

My pension goes to a nominated person, so that’s fine. I received one of my parent’s pensions after their death.

But, do you see that if your spouse were to predecease you, you would be effectively barred from remarriage or that would preclude the above pension. And there are many posters on here saying there isn’t a reason not to get married if you want to financially protect your partner. In reality, there are hundreds of reasons and scenarios in which marriage isn’t the best or most sensible choice.

A LPOA does things that marriage doesn’t
talk to anyone who’s legal partner has been action under mental health act, or mentally incapacitated through accident etc.

whilst technically a will isn’t need to ensure your legal spouse/partner inherits, dying intestate EVEN as a spouse is complex, time consuming and a pain in the bum. You still have to go through probate, and if there is no will, no executor then all that has to be sorted first. In Scotland it can be even more complicated if there are children . Definately to be avoided.

please don’t fall into this trap - you can do LPOA without a solicitor (carefully) and a will can be done cheaply through Will schemes

Tax is always levied on individuals
benefits (which child benefit is) is based on household income

That applies to everything. Always has since they did away with married man’s tax allowance years ago.

blame conservatives for this.

I would also recommend writing a Living Will which outlines your preferences on major health decisions is you are unable to make them your self. I got a blank copy on the Internet from a charity website. It was after my elderly mother had a severe stroke and doctors inserted a PEG without our consent and also wanted to amputate her leg due to poor circulation despite her having the problem for 40 years. My mother was a lively, energetic social butterfly and we disagreed with the medics attitude of life at any cost. Not sure if it will help if I'm ever in a similar position but at least it outlines my intentions.