As a ‘common law wife’ do I have any legal rights?

[Anon0mum]

my partner and I have been together 10 years and we have two children. My mother-in-law this past year has been battling with cancer (thankfully she seems to be making a good recovery)

Her recent battle has set off some anxieties for me. If either of our parents did pass ( I’m hoping it won’t be for a very very long time) and my partner/myself were in a situation where we aren’t able to make choices for ourselves, ( ie decisions about medical care)

Would choices fall on the respective partner, or would they fall on our sons? My biggest anxiety is that they will be having to make big decisions about their mum/ Dad,. It’s not something I want them to have to think about or question their decisions later.

Is this something where myself/ partner can take over and legally make this decisions for each other or Is it worth my partner and myself getting a document written up that gives each other permission legally to make those decisions, in the absence of our parents.

Thanks

Spouses and nok do not make medical decisions on behalf of each other, you need poa and an advance directive for that. A doctor will act in the patients best interest and ask for the nok opinion if the patient is unable to consent at the time.

In conjunction with “don’t flush tampons down the toilet”

No - no such thing in the UK

Either get married or have a civil partnership

I hope not. Was with my ex 8 years and didn't marry him for a reason.

Where did this common law idea come from? I don’t know why people think it exists in England & Wales (I don’t know enough about Scottish law to comment).

Couple of hundred quid get down the registry office. Job done.

https://www.thegazette.co.uk/all-notices/content/104016

As someone who battled through court with my ex to get a share of property following 13 years of cohabiting, you have zero rights. Trust me. Get married.

England, Medieval times, genuinely, it was a thing. It hasn’t been for centuries and is not applicable now in modern day law in the uk. It was abolished in England in mid 18th century’s.

the law to abolish it in Scotland was in 2006, so very late, any one who wishes to establish it now, has to go to court, and meet the conditions pre 2006, but it’s vanishingly rare that happens.

nut yes it was once a thing.as the op and her partner have only been together 10 years she is not a common law wife. She simply cohabits airh her partner.

Pretty much what every one else has said! If you don't want to get married you can form a civil partnership, you don't need to have a big ceremony or anything just go and do the paperwork. By far the cheapest and easiest way of achieving what you want to!

Even if you get married, you should also draw up a will and LPA.

No if you aren't married, your husband's next of kin (and yours) will be your children. My mum had issues when her partner passed away, the house was in joint names but they weren't married. His "share" of the house went to his next of kin... his children from a previous marriage. She had to sell the house to buy them out of the property. If they were married his share/estates would have automatically gone to her. Marriage isn't right for everyone, but in long term relationships, it can create security in the event something happens. Me and DH are married, and I'm grateful for the peace of mind that gives me, if something were to happen to one of us.

Op to answer your question, no neither of you can take decisions if it came to it, parents can follow legal process and allocate power of attorney to anyone they chose, not just family, but in the absence of that it’s most senior next of kin.

senior next of kin, is spouse, parents, child, then siblings. Grandkids I think come next, but I’m not clear on this, it can be executor of the will.

Thanks for posting the link

I was going to post a rl example about next of kin.

This person had a friend who lived a road away who provided daily help and company for him. So when he went into hospital it was this friend who all the doctors asked the opinion of rather than the son he saw a few times a year. However when the person died it was the son who automatically inherited everything.

I’m always confused on threads where someone assumes they magically gain ‘rights’ after living with someone. It’s a good thing that people have to opt in to legal protections and the government isn’t getting involved in peoples relationships unless specifically signed up for.

As a ‘common law wife’

No such thing. Worrying you think there is.

Marriage costs you half your net worth.

Divorce, even more.

Just get married? The other options like PP said is wills and also power of attorney but tbh get married solves those problems and can be done super cheaply

Part of planning for the unforeseen can include putting together an informal document known sometimes as a Letter of Intent. In that you can state various things that you would want to happen, if you both die suddenly the kids are looked after by X, if you are suddenly dreadfully ill you don't want to be resuscitated, and that if there are decisions to be made you trust Y to make those on your behalf. It's not a legal document as such but would give a doctor or whomever an insight into how you want things managed. My mom has one that goes as far as stating what she wants done regarding a funeral.

This doesn't take the place of a POA or will but adds to it. Likewise if you were in a legal partnership then medical & legal types will know that your OH has the right to an opinion on what's going on.

Exactly. There are pros and cons to marriage. If you have more capital, pension or assets you will be the partner losing more financially from a divorce.

If there are just specific protections you want, such as outlined in you post, you will be best getting separate legal agreements for those and not getting tied into the rest of the financial contract that a marriage is.

There was a very interesting book and some articles on this a few years ago by a legal historian called Rebecca Probert. It's a while since I read her work but I think her finding was that the term started to be used in the 1970s when living together became more common. It was an attempt to find a term to describe people in a long term unmarried relationship and distinguish them from more casual couples.
There is a myth that there was common law marriage (in the sense that living together was sufficient to give you marital status and rights) before 1753 but she says that is a misunderstanding.

https://phys.org/news/2011-08-reveals-common-law-marriage-myth-1970s.html

https://www.familylaw.co.uk/articles/rebecca-probert-common-law-marriage-myths-and-misunderstandings#:~:text=This%20article%20investigates%20the%20source,to%20the%20early%20nineteenth%20century.

Getting married is not for everyone. Go to a solicitor.

If only there was an existing legal arrangement that people have using for centuries for this precise reason...

Dying without a will is a pain in the arse, even if you are married, it will take ages to get sorted ( actually it can take ages with a will but even longer without one). You are still better off making a will even if you are married.

(Though obviously if you are not married and your partner dies and you have no will you are not entitled to anything at all).

There's no such thing as a common law wife.

There's also no such thing in law as next of kin for medical decisions. The people claiming otherwise are talking shite.