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Original poster

Has anyone taken a real dislike to you for no apparent reason?

136 replies

Beautifulwintermornings · 23/11/2023 17:12

I had a manager at work who seemed to really dislike me. I'll never know why. I always worked my arse off and I never said a cross word to anyone. I was quite new to the role although not to the organisation. And if anything I was probably overly compliant.

She'd completely blank me. On a Monday or after annual leave she'd go around asking everyone how their weekend/holidays were but blank me.

She tried to blame me for things I hadn't done a few times. She once rather aggressively asked me why I'd signed for something that I shouldn't have, confronting me with the paperwork. When I calmly told her that it wasn't my signature and I didn't know whose it was she huffed and puffed, no apology.

She gave others credit for work I'd done.

She was going through the office once with a drink and she looked as though she was going to spill it. I very kindly said something about being careful not to scold herself and she said she'd like to pour it over me. I just sort of half laughed thinking she must be joking but actually it was completely inappropriate.

To this day I'd like to know what her problem was with me.

OP posts:
anybloodyname · 23/11/2023 17:14

Could you ask her ?

Just approach her privately and say something along the lines of " have I done or said something to upset you as I sense an atmosphere between us , that comment about pouring a hot drink over me didn't sound like a joke ? What's with the attitude ? Can we sort it out and move on ? "

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 23/11/2023 17:16

Yep, colleague who joined the department the same time as I did. She'd speak when spoken to and was civil when we talked about work, but otherwise looked through me. She was so petty she didn't sign my leaving card from the dept and absented herself from the Teams meeting when everyone said goodbye. No idea what the problem was but apparently I wasn't the only one in the company she did it to. I was told she was 'shy.' Big laugh.

Original poster
Beautifulwintermornings · 23/11/2023 17:17

I don't work for her anymore but sometimes still wonder what I did to make he dislike me so much.

OP posts:
BellaTheDarkOverlord · 23/11/2023 17:18

I have one who hates me. I joined a new team at work and she immediate took a dislike to me. Really nasty comments to me. I couldn’t speak in the room without her quickly pulling me up on how wrong I was. I’d get asked by manager to do something and she’d immediately start doing it and then give it in quickly and try make out I couldn’t be bothered doing the work. It was really weird. I’ve no clue why she hates me so much, I’m polite to her and haven’t done anything wrong I know of that would warrant such nastiness. The only thing I can think of is that I was on another team with her boyfriend. I’d no clue he was her boyfriend and he was just another team member I worked with at the time. We worked together once but obviously nothing happened. I’m married with kids haha. When I moved to her team she blanked me. Her boyfriend would come see her in the break area and if I passed them he would say hello to me but she’d literally turned her back on me. He looked quite embarrassed. It’s strange!

doitwithlove · 23/11/2023 17:19

I wouldn't giving her thinking time.

She sounds a nasty, conceited bitch. Hopefully karma will bite her arse

BethDuttonsTwin · 23/11/2023 17:20

Yes, a few times. Mostly it’s because they feel threatened in some way - that’s usually why any way. I mirror straight back at them. However they are to me is the tone I use right back at them. Obvs have to be polite when it’s a manager or something, but no smiles or small talk. Ime if you try to ingratiate yourself with them they despise you even more. Mirroring back makes them a little more wary. Always worked for me anyway.

junbean · 23/11/2023 17:23

Jealousy tends to be the root cause in these situations. Some people would rather be toxic than grow an inch!

Shivermetimbersmearty · 23/11/2023 17:24

Had a similar issue with an old boss. I still can’t understand what the issue was- especially as I usually get on well with colleagues.

He wasn’t as bad as yours, but would go out of his way to avoid me in group settings, undermined and disagreed with everything I said, never gave praise, but quick to criticise.

I did speak to other colleagues who’d previously worked for him and they reported similar behaviour, so it turned out it wasn’t ( completely) personal- I think he’d taken a dislike to me, but he had his favourites.

i think you have to remember the problem is with them , not you.

your old boss sound like this- annoyingly she would probably never admit this to you, but did any other colleagues at the time comment on her behaviour towards you? I bet they’d have seen her do this to others before you.

neilyoungismyhero · 23/11/2023 17:25

Oooooh yes....a couple of times..I seem to be a person who is really liked by 99 out of 100 people. That random 1 has always perplexed me. One particular woman never made me a drink when she was doing the drinks run. She once quietly made a sarky comment in front of the office. I asked her what it was she said, she blustered and fannied around and said she hadn't said anything..I just said I must have been mistaken then..she looked like a tit. To this day I've no idea why she disliked me. I don't give a shit anymore, far too old to let it bother me but I do still wonder.

Jinglestreet · 23/11/2023 17:29

It's jealousy. They feel threatened by you for some reason so attack. Horrid behaviour from insecure saddos.

Vettrianofan · 23/11/2023 17:29

Yep, a mum at school playground. One stands out but I just ignore. Not worth worrying about.

GarlicMaybeNot · 23/11/2023 17:30

God, yes! It doesn't happen often but makes a lasting impression. What I really hate about it is the way it makes you examine yourself in a negative light, just in case they've got a point.

One time, it was a barmy boss who always had a downer on the person in my position. Didn't matter who it was; the victim before me was a man. Another time it was my best friend, which was very upsetting but she had a brain tumour. A few others decided I was horrible because of something someone else had (incorrectly) said about me, some because they'd built up a narrative in their own heads which made me responsible for everything they didn't like about their lives.

A therapist told me this can be due to all sorts of random factors - in the example she gave, someone was victimised because she looked a bit like the bully's mother!

Then there are "Wendys", who systematically turn all your friends against you and take your place in the group. Add in those who are irrationally jealous or possessive, and it's gonna happen from time to time.

People are bats 😂

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 23/11/2023 17:30

junbean · 23/11/2023 17:23

Jealousy tends to be the root cause in these situations. Some people would rather be toxic than grow an inch!

I couldn't work out what mine might be jealous of, in my case. I'm in my sixties, she's in her mid to late thirties, good looking (everythin glossy about her, hair teeth and nails, whereas I'm.....not and never will be like that) and probably earning twice my salary.

I agree about the toxic rather than grow an inch, though. She and another manager had their little clique and it was like working with people who'd never progressed emotionally beyond the age of 12.

Baffledandalarmed · 23/11/2023 17:30

Yes!

My sixth form PE teacher hated me for literally no reason (implied in class in my second week into studying for the AS level and to my mother at parents evening I was a whore!).

But equally I’ve taken a disliked against people for ‘no reason.’ Although that’s usually gut instinct I won’t like them (you know you get that vibe?) rather than the actual nastiness that you’ve experienced!

LindorDoubleChoc · 23/11/2023 17:32

I had an issue with an older woman at work. She was horrible to me, just bullying and gaslighting. I left the company due to it (it was a tiny company of 5 women) and the boss said to me, are you leaving because of Elisabeth? and I had to say yes! Seems I wasn't the first and probably wouldn't be the last.

PearlClutzsche · 23/11/2023 17:32

At our small village primary school there was one dad there who loathed me. It was a friendly place, every said hello in the passing, even if they didn't know each other. And he was the same... to everyone else. I just got venomous looks. He let doors close on me etc. No idea why. His wife was nice though.

A man who came to look at my house when it was for sale hated me too, even though I was friendly and welcoming. Everything l said he regarded with suspicion or annoyance. I had to excuse myself and get DH to take over as I was getting a bit flustered with it! Luckily, he hated the house too!

Thmssngvwlsrnd · 23/11/2023 17:36

Yes, I've had this. I worked with a teacher who treated me like dirt from the start. I kept wondering what on earth I could have done to upset her so much. The good thing was that other people noticed it too, and stood up for me when she bitched about me in the staff room. It was a really horrible experience because I wasn't the most confident person to begin with. I never did find out why she hated me!

hellswelshy · 23/11/2023 17:43

Probably lots of people! I'm likely not everyone's cup of tea and I accept that, just like not everyone is mine. I find it interesting if someone appears to loathe me though, rather than just not like me. Mainly I'm past people pleasing though, it's very liberating 😀

MyLadyTheKingsMother · 23/11/2023 17:47

Yep, several times!

Used to let it bother me but now I see it's just jealousy.

So, whatever love!

DontListenToWhatYouveConsumed · 23/11/2023 17:48

Instant dislike to one of adult DC friends. Knew they'd cause trouble, be trouble and they have and continue to be.
Sometimes you know.
Never happened at work (from me or to me) that I've noticed.

LadyScribe · 23/11/2023 17:55

I was on a very well paid contract that had been extended. I said not for me I'll go at the agreed date.
Company OK with that. But during my notice time several of my colleagues were very jealous.
"You are missing out on so much money."
"Have you a job lined up?" No was my answer "I am just off somewhere else".
2 or 3 of the poor dears could not cope with that.

Tintackedsea · 23/11/2023 18:02

My current boss was like this with me. She sent nasty messages about me to a colleague. It was so appalling. She's moved on to someone else now. I've come to realise it's her MO. She builds alliances by creating common enemies.

muddyford · 23/11/2023 18:08

Working my retriever on a local shoot, woman in charge of the team absolutely loathed me. I hadn't seem her for some years but we used to do demonstrations for dog clubs, shared lifts, got on well. Whether she was jealous I don't know. She was the only other woman on the team. It ended with the shoot captain telling her where he wanted me, otherwise we would have done nothing. She was the only person I met there that I didn't get on with.

noooooooo · 23/11/2023 18:19

Yes, and it used to bother me. Now I’m sort of pleased. They’re always chumps. Or I might be sick in the head 🤣

BIossomtoes · 23/11/2023 18:22

It happens to me all the time. People either like me a lot or can’t stand the sight of me. I’m human Marmite.

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