Has anyone taken a real dislike to you for no apparent reason?

[Beautifulwintermornings]

I had a manager at work who seemed to really dislike me. I'll never know why. I always worked my arse off and I never said a cross word to anyone. I was quite new to the role although not to the organisation. And if anything I was probably overly compliant.

She'd completely blank me. On a Monday or after annual leave she'd go around asking everyone how their weekend/holidays were but blank me.

She tried to blame me for things I hadn't done a few times. She once rather aggressively asked me why I'd signed for something that I shouldn't have, confronting me with the paperwork. When I calmly told her that it wasn't my signature and I didn't know whose it was she huffed and puffed, no apology.

She gave others credit for work I'd done.

She was going through the office once with a drink and she looked as though she was going to spill it. I very kindly said something about being careful not to scold herself and she said she'd like to pour it over me. I just sort of half laughed thinking she must be joking but actually it was completely inappropriate.

To this day I'd like to know what her problem was with me.

a manager at work turned against me because my husband didnt immediately leave me when i got pregnant. She told me hed leave if i got too fat and started holding fun events when i was off work not telling me. And generally treating me badly. She did the same to another girl who was pregnant and her other half stuck around too. She was jealous we think because her partner cheated and left when she was pregnant

The HR head at a job I got let go from. My manager, the CEO, my co-workers all liked me and I routinely got positive feedback. Things were going well at this small company and I am someone who gets along with a lot of different people and i tend to give others the benefit of the doubt so I never took her early rude behavior personally. This woman was from my culture/my city...we were close in age. But over time it was odd how she could barely speak to me without venom. I'm happily long time married so unless I unknowingly bonked her boyfriend in school, I can't see what I did to her as this was from day one.

One colleague invited me to a weekly exercise class along with the HR head. We had to change clothes and colleague was friendly chatting with both of us, I tried to engage and HR head turned her back on me to talk just with colleague-it was awkward and weird. Colleague later said, "sorry she was so rude back there. She's typically so nice." So then I knew it was me. A few weeks later I was on a list of people to cut loose due to a client loss (not mine!). I'm 100 percent convinced she had a hand in that. My manager seemed very uncomfortable about it.

I recently worked in a factory environment, never done so before. There was a far higher amount of people in there that simply wouldn't talk and ignore you to your face if you spoke to them. I have to say it really got to me and I managed 5 weeks and left. The thing is after saying morning and being blanked in the end I stopped trying and was walking around with a miserable face myself, I had to leave I was starting to turn the sane as then, very dehumanising awful period of my life.

I've had this throughout my life. Horrendously bullied at school, both by other kids and teachers.

I had the same teacher for reception and year 1. She refused to believe that I was profoundly deaf and I often spent hours facing the wall in a corner for "not listening and following instructions". My mum eventually cottoned on to what was happening when this woman also mistreated my younger brother and made some comment to the lady who ran the playschool next door to the school, who happened to be my mums friend. Apparently in the two years I was in this woman's class I didn't grow.

I was bullied for having a speech impediment as a kid a f of never went away. I remember having a free period while doing my GCSE's and using the computers in the library, when a class of my peers where in the back watching the recordings of the gsce drama productions. I heard a girl that I thought I was friends with taking the piss out of my speech and the teacher, who had taken an instant dislike of me joining in.

I've had it happen at work a few times too. The last time was on my first day of a new job as a newly qualified. The woman just looked me up and down and looked pretty disgust with me. She constantly rolled her eyes when I spoke, rubbish my ideas, when we were both promoted to senior positions she would leave me off invites for meetings..... she had a little group of pals that were eventually the same towards me. I eventually left this agency, went to a new place after this where there is none of this toxicity.

I've done so much soul searching as to why I am a target for it. But to be honest, there is nothing much special about me, so nothing much to be jealous of. My natural default is to try to get on with everyone in the work place.

A mother in my daughter’s year in the playground, as well as a grandfather.
Mostly friendly parents, these two, unrelated people would glare at me, no idea what was the matter.
He at one point stopped going to school, I assumed he’d died
The woman continued to hate me throughout primary school, from the moment she saw me. Ignored me at parties our children were invited to, everything.
I once met her alone at the school gate, it was summer, and I was wearing a black t shirt and M&S khaki knee length linen trousers, fairly innocuous really. She stopped , looked me up and down and laughed .
I’m not large, not as thin as her though, but I certainly looked like anyone else that day.
i think she was unhinged. She certainly fell out with her best school mum friend and they never ever speak.

I wonder if anyone reading this thread has been "that" person doing the disliking and could shed some light on all of us who have had to face the issue with all the stress it brings. Did you enjoy doing it or feel bad afterwards maybe ?

Most of the time its down to pure jealousy and/or insecurity. There is something about you that is better than them. Its that simple.

OR another person or people have said things about you (because of the above), people believe it and judge you from there because they do have the intelligence to not believe everything they hear, especially about a person they have never had a conversation with.

Keep shining!

Being actively hostile to a person who hasn’t done anything or who you don’t even actually know means you are by definition an unhinged weirdo. So it’s never bothered me as I don’t really value the opinion of nutters.

As I've got older, I can't be arsed with bullshit like this. I'm quite happy to take them aside and ask what their issue is and how can it be resolved. Did this with a new store manager in a previous role. She spluttered about being stressed. I told her that I'm an experienced member of staff, and if she's stressed with her workload, then I'm happy to help. Things got better then.

There are people who I work with who are similar arseholes. I thoroughly enjoy killing with kindness as it confuses them, and makes them look like a dick if they bitch about me.

I'm just grateful that I don't have to live in their heads. Must be an awful place. 😉

Makes me so glad to be self employed away from that office nonsense dealing with other peoples moods dear god at my age I wouldn’t have the patience for it.

Jealousy.

I worked as TA in a high school for a year. Longest year of my life. The teacher I was to mainly work with was awful to me. It was bullying really. I felt sick going to work every single day. I don't know why, but she took against me from the word go.

Yes, I have had this three times.

twice with management, bizzarely both women, I know one hundred percent it was looks related, and they both did it to every woman they perceived as attractive, and both had their career effectively stalled and moved out of management positions due to it. Horrible, rude, bullying stuff. The get back in your box, ger back to your desk who invited you to this meeting stuff ( even though it was a whole team invite that went out to all). Stuff that made everyone uncomfortable and did for them. One was formally disciplined due to her treatment of women and moved to a more junior non management role, the other just managed out. Neither had women complaining about them, in both instances the behaviour was so unacceptable management noticed it and took action.

the third is sadly my sil. I see her looking at me with barely concealed dislike. The eyeing me up and down with a grimace. Staring at me with disgust, I am not talking if I do something that deserves it, which I don’t, but just putting some make up on and a pair of jeans and walking in, has her looking at me with disgust. I just pretend I don’t notice it to be honest and keep a smile on, for family harmony.

she has a signficant weight issue, and she slags off women all the time, who are slimmer than her. Like really offensive comments. For example telly on on background, a singer comes on, prob a size ten to 12 and she says, look at the fucking state of that with her fat thighs, she should be ashamed.

its difficult, I won’t lie. I understand it’s about her, but that doesn’t make it easier. We all just ignore it. Sadly I find myself making sure I don’t look nice to try to not be subject to it, so no make up, hair scraped back, old Ill fitting clothes. As otherwise it happens and she constantly stares at my body. The only time it stopped was when I gained weight.😔

Once, years ago. I went back to college as a mature student after completing a degree. I was 23, the other girls were mostly 16. I was very friendly with most of them . On the first day I "recognised' a girl (D) as she looked very like her older sister (K) who had been in my year at school so i told D this. The sister and weren't in each others friends group but knew one another . Anyway, from the nexr day on for almost the almost entire 2 years of the course there ensued low level bullying from D. Somebody else told me she said. "K didn't like Bbq1 at school" whereas I barely knew K to even say hi to! I was very quiet at school and didn't have beef with anyone. Looking back, i think it was maybe some weird jealousy from D (and K) because I'd been to uni, was getting distinctions in the college course and was newly engaged. D apparently said it wouldn't last. Me and dh have been happily married for almost 25 years! I can't think of any other logical reason for D's behaviour. Right towards the end of the course she just stopped the bullying and starting trying to be all friendly towards me! I've seen her in passing since and she acts like we were great mates!

When I was 19 I had a uni thing where I got to work abroad in USA in a theme park for a few months. I went with my boyfriend who worked with me. It was a great experience however my boss in the shop we worked out hated me and I couldn't understand why. I was just a shy quiet inoffensive type kid and she would often have me scrubbing out the toilets (not part of my job but I did it) whilst sitting my boyfriend down and talking about our home country. She loved him!

I did slightly turn the corner though as after 3 months on our last day we were going around saying bye to everyone and as we were leaving, I heard my name being shouted and I turned around and it was her running to give me a massive hug! So random but I did appreciate it.

Yep, a colleague in a different team. After 2 years of filthy looks and monosyllabic answers I lost my cool rather and asked her. Turns out that she thought I'd got the job purely because I was related to one of the ex bosses. She didn't know that I had a degree and masters degree in the work we do and was genuinely shocked when I told her. The atmosphere definitely disappeared after that day and things were better, although never great, as to be honest, I just found her really difficult to talk to, as I'm sure she did with me......it was like we were speaking a different language sometimes.

I sometimes don't 'take' to people, it's not even a conscious thing. What I do do though, is treat them politely and nicely at work. You can't like people equally, some people you get on with brilliantly, others irritate you. What is unprofessional and nasty is to let that show through or treat people differently. Some people are less adept at doing that than others.

And some run with it, form groups around it and make it a 'thing', I think many of us on this thread have met those people.

Yeah, a girl at uni, she went on this big rant in front a of load of people about how much she hated me and I was at first mortified but then I realised that everyone thought she was awful and being hated by her was no bad thing.

Yes, happened twice as an adult. Different workplaces, a random colleague at each. They just took a clear dislike from day 1, before I could possibly have done anything they could reasonably take offence at. I concluded that they had their own issues, and this was not a problem I could or should try to solve.

Yes a couple of times. I'm both cases I could see it was more about them than me. They're the sort of people who always seem to have issues with others.

Yes, a woman at a pottery class I go to.

I’ve been going for about a year, we’re not all besties and generally just get on with whatever project we’re working on at the time, bit of light hearted chit chat, console each other when something goes wrong and lend each other tools. Nothing too deep.

This woman started in September and from the get go she was weirdly rude to me and it’s just got worse from then. I don’t know her, I’d never met her before, and she’s not like it with anyone else.

We’re talking about organising a Christmas night out and she told one of the other people that if I go, she won’t.

I keep going over every interaction I’ve ever had with her, questioning myself whether I’ve done something without realising, but she’s been like it from the very first time I said hi to her on her first night, and given her ongoing behaviour towards me, I’ve barely interacted with her.

I’ve considered swapping to a different class as I can’t be doing with that shit. We’re all adults doing our own thing, but the other nights aren’t as convenient, so for now, I'm just getting on with my own stuff and ignoring it.

But, I am going to go to the Christmas night out, solely to piss her off.

Yes but I wont lose any sleep over it.

I always think it’s being seen as competition in the workplace. In the past I’ve been disliked because I’ve been perceived as too loud or too confident. Directly the person realised I was actually quite introverted we’d always end up being friends.

Yes, someone I used to work with. She was absolutely vile to me for no reason. She was like it to a few others as well, again no reason.

I left that team 7 years ago but earlier this year moved into a position where I manage the team she's currently in. I don't line manage her, I line manage her line manager. She is now very polite to me, and seems to have undergone some sort of personality transplant! Which is a relief.