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Has anyone taken a real dislike to you for no apparent reason?

136 replies

Beautifulwintermornings · 23/11/2023 17:12

I had a manager at work who seemed to really dislike me. I'll never know why. I always worked my arse off and I never said a cross word to anyone. I was quite new to the role although not to the organisation. And if anything I was probably overly compliant.

She'd completely blank me. On a Monday or after annual leave she'd go around asking everyone how their weekend/holidays were but blank me.

She tried to blame me for things I hadn't done a few times. She once rather aggressively asked me why I'd signed for something that I shouldn't have, confronting me with the paperwork. When I calmly told her that it wasn't my signature and I didn't know whose it was she huffed and puffed, no apology.

She gave others credit for work I'd done.

She was going through the office once with a drink and she looked as though she was going to spill it. I very kindly said something about being careful not to scold herself and she said she'd like to pour it over me. I just sort of half laughed thinking she must be joking but actually it was completely inappropriate.

To this day I'd like to know what her problem was with me.

OP posts:
BinkyBeaufort · 24/11/2023 18:42

Any theories on why it seems to be mostly women who behave like this?

Starboy14 · 24/11/2023 19:04

Sadly I have experienced this. For me it was 3 different women, at different life stages. Some women really do need to take a good look at themselves and their behaviour. I have of course met people I dislike, but I'm never rude, never made up lies, or was openly hostile to any one of them.

I think women who behave like this, must have some sort of cluster b personality disorder because I don't believe their behaviour is normal.

BIossomtoes · 24/11/2023 19:07

Starboy14 · 24/11/2023 19:04

Sadly I have experienced this. For me it was 3 different women, at different life stages. Some women really do need to take a good look at themselves and their behaviour. I have of course met people I dislike, but I'm never rude, never made up lies, or was openly hostile to any one of them.

I think women who behave like this, must have some sort of cluster b personality disorder because I don't believe their behaviour is normal.

It’s not just women. The worst bully I ever worked with was a man.

Mummadeze · 24/11/2023 19:21

A couple of teachers. I was very clever for my age so think this got their back up. One colleague, but she was very quiet and I am chatty so I put it down to that. One manager who I think thought I was better at the job than her. I suppose I have assigned reasons to each case but am only guessing. Other than that, I tend to get along with everyone really. It bothered me too, but I guess you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea no matter how hard you try.

GarlicMaybeNot · 24/11/2023 19:32

BinkyBeaufort · 24/11/2023 18:42

Any theories on why it seems to be mostly women who behave like this?

It isn't! men and women come out roughly even in my history of being irrationally despised - and, to be fair, of irrationally disliking others.

I don't know whether men do it to each other, but it's reasonable to suppose they do. There's no shortage of waspish, unreasonably judgemental chaps.

Catsmere · 25/11/2023 00:59

Only the bullying fuckers at school - primary, secondary, mostly students and one teacher.

Kinsters · 25/11/2023 07:58

Yes! At my first job when I'd moved to a new country I was totally frozen out by my colleagues (I suspect who the ringleader was as everyone else was nice to me individually). It was so weird. I was the only foreigner in the team but the common language was English so it wasn't that. Plus I never cared if they all chatted in Chinese, it genuinely didn't bother me and I was making efforts to learn. They were so cold. I stuck it out for 3.5 years and was very happy to leave.

ALongHardWinter · 25/11/2023 09:37

Yes. I had a manager at a shop I worked at,back in the late 90s. To put not too fine a point on it,she was an absolute cow towards me. I'd been working there for 6 years and she was the third manager I'd had in my time there. I had got on very well with the previous two. What made it worse was that she was only 19,had zero people management skills and seemed determined to employ members of her family as staff for the shop so I couldn't even bitch about her to other staff. I really don't know what her issue was with me,but she seemed to have it in for me from the moment she started working there. She gave me all the worst shifts (evenings and weekends),was rude and dismissive towards me when I had to take a few days off work due to a suspected blood clot in my leg. When I phoned to tell her this she said 'What's the problem NOW?' as if I was frequently taking time off sick. In the previous 6 years,I'd had 3 days off due to illness. I put up with her for 6 months then found another job. She wasted no time in filling the vacancy left by me with her sister.

Sdpbody · 25/11/2023 22:51

The only people who have instantly taken a dislike to me are people who everyone loves but I get a nasty vibe. I've been proven right 4 times so far... they all turned out to be horrible people and others have finally noticed.

Vettrianofan · 26/11/2023 22:39

Latest one was yesterday....was at a children's birthday party and one of the parents like myself was waiting at venue reception until it started. I said hello and got blanked... there's people out there like that. Yet I got on fine with everyone else. These things happen. You just have to laugh🤣

Vettrianofan · 26/11/2023 22:42

ALongHardWinter · 25/11/2023 09:37

Yes. I had a manager at a shop I worked at,back in the late 90s. To put not too fine a point on it,she was an absolute cow towards me. I'd been working there for 6 years and she was the third manager I'd had in my time there. I had got on very well with the previous two. What made it worse was that she was only 19,had zero people management skills and seemed determined to employ members of her family as staff for the shop so I couldn't even bitch about her to other staff. I really don't know what her issue was with me,but she seemed to have it in for me from the moment she started working there. She gave me all the worst shifts (evenings and weekends),was rude and dismissive towards me when I had to take a few days off work due to a suspected blood clot in my leg. When I phoned to tell her this she said 'What's the problem NOW?' as if I was frequently taking time off sick. In the previous 6 years,I'd had 3 days off due to illness. I put up with her for 6 months then found another job. She wasted no time in filling the vacancy left by me with her sister.

Sounds like her nasty behaviour was deliberate to get you to leave. That's terrible. Sorry you had to put up with that. It was completely unnecessary. There's no reason why folk can't just be civilised 🤷🏻

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