House is still a shithole. Pic included

[Shithole101]

A few weeks or so back I posted pics of bedrooms in my house. They were a shithole. Me/kids have managed to keep the bedrooms tidy /reasonable.

But my stairs and living room are a mess. I could probably have it all sorted in a couple of hours. But it feels like the end of the world. I feel so drained. And even when i do start doing it something really silly can happen then I feel like giving up.

Or like a few weeks back I started feeling really positive. And got loads done . But after that period of positive cleaning. I won't get that feeling back for a while and just stop.

It should be really simple but it does not feel like it.

I only get a bath /shower once a week sometimes less. I could smell myself earlier and all I did was use baby wipes under my arms and a bit of deodorant.

Anyway I have added photos again . To Shame myself into actually cleaning up .

Oh whatever. I can guarantee you we are not even in the same country. Can you not understand that not everyone think the same as you? It’s ok not to agree with everyone, you’ll survive. No need to be so angry.

Op your kitchen looks cleaner than mine, you're winning for today at least 😁 mine looks like a bomb has hit it and I only have the one child

I know working professionals with extremely busy lives, children with loads of extra curricular activities etc and their house although very clean looks like armageddon,hardly a space on every floor. I couldn't live like that but they're happy well adjusted people as are the kids so who's to judge 🤷‍♀️

Ok so today I have managed to do the clothes washing and hang that to dry.

I have managed to do a bit of batch cooking. Done . Sherperds pie, chicken tikka, chicken stew.

So that gives me less worry in the week as I know we are sorted for meals.so I cam ficus on other stuff

Wasn't that great before hand. Either way it's OK now. So that's what matters at the moment.

I'm really sorry you have an autoimmune illness which causes fatigue. That must be tough.

However, please remember that no two illnesses or disabilities present in exactly the same way. Anaemia can make the most basic of tasks impossible and I think the poster has done an amazing job with all she's had to contend with.

When I had anaemia, I had people with different conditions commenting on how they managed to do things that I couldn't, but they didn't have the same level of exhaustion. It's hard enough being ill without having people judging.

I am saying that CPNs and social workers have too strict an idea of what a safe, hazard free environment is. Often adding unnecessary stress to their clients

We are talking about a bit of mess. So why bring food into it? I don't doubt the OP feeds her DC and DDog.

Really well done. I think you are awesome. ❤

Just read the list of things you have done today. That's brilliant. Sometimes it's just hard. You don't have to explain yourself to random strangers on Mumsnet. Good luck and take care of yourself.

😔 my adult DC don't live with me. 1 worries a very stressful job with long hours and is struggling himself.

Adult dd has alot going on , which I have to heavily support dd with lots of things have been put in place.

I also have children with special needs .

Honestly, you are doing so so much more than I could ever have done with anaemia, with so many challenges, and you deserve and have my full respect. ❤💐

There's messy mess and there's repressive mess, though - I don't think the pile on @captainjacksparrow is fair because I see their point. If the mess is causing you distress (as it appears to be with OP), it can't be a great environment for anyone, let alone for kids. Any support which is going I would take, but if someone doesn't want to let people into the house it's a bit restrictive in that regard.

@Shithole101 It sounds like you're just overwhelmed and with all that's going on in your life I'm not surprised! Sometimes we have to just let things slide for a few days - WITHOUT feeling guilty!- to recover and give ourselves space to think and to just BE!

Be kinder to yourself - you know you always get your shit together when you're able to. So, don't beat yourself up about letting things go to pot in between.

You sound like you're giving everyone else support and forgetting that you need support too!
Breathe! Wait for the results of your blood tests! You have time to let things slide.

I know it looks like things are just falling apart around you and everything is out of control. but YOU are the central important thing in all this.

If you don't take care of you, nobody else is going to ....... and remember that you're finding the strength to get on with things and that is a major achievement 😊- even though you think you're failing at everything/
You're definitely not failing, you just need more support than you're getting at the minute! That's why you're posting here - because you're not getting proper support in real life. We all need support! - don't let anyone tell you any different! xx

@Shithole101 my adult DC don't live with me. 1 worries a very stressful job with long hours and is struggling himself.

Adult dd has alot going on , which I have to heavily support dd with lots of things have been put in place.

I also have children with special needs .

That is a LOT to deal with on your own! xx

Did you see how positive the thread was. How I was up dating on the positive things I was doing. That means me being able to express what's going on and people reply with encouragement. Or share their experiences or/and suggestions.

Professionals/social workers have actually seen my house even on bad days. And no this is not due to involvement due to me being a shit heap. But links to do with my adult dd and her children.

I think you did well today Op, keep it up

@Shithole101 Did you see how positive the thread was. How I was up dating on the positive things I was doing. That means me being able to express what's going on and people reply with encouragement. Or share their experiences or/and suggestions.

Professionals/social workers have actually seen my house even on bad days. And no this is not due to involvement due to me being a shit heap. But links to do with my adult dd and her children.

Yaaay! Yes, you tell 'em! (can't find the bunch of flowers gif! 🙄) x

I know and that's not even the full stuff. I only mentioned them 2 because people seem to think because they are adults I can lean on them . There's stuff going on that I have not mentioned because I don't want to I wanted to focus on the house side of things. I just wanted to post what's bothering me but not to deeply and try and sort it as I go.

@Shithole101 I know and that's not even the full stuff. I only mentioned them 2 because people seem to think because they are adults I can lean on them . There's stuff going on that I have not mentioned because I don't want to I wanted to focus on the house side of things. I just wanted to post what's bothering me but not to deeply and try and sort it as I go

I honestly think you're doing a good job just even just wanting to stay afloat!

Keep going - you're going to get there!

Thank you so much . Your post made me feel emosh but yes I think you fully get it. Thank-you for fully understanding. I don't know what to say 😭

Have you managed to clear your stairs ?

This is decades ago. But nevertheless:
An acquaintance of mine, when younger, was a busy single father - a widower. He was an Approved Social Worker, LD, and a good one. He often felt embarrassed at having to judge his clients' houses. His own house was messy. But it was always welcoming.

@GiraffesCantKnit Reported you. Now it's over to MN to see what they think.