House is still a shithole. Pic included

[Shithole101]

A few weeks or so back I posted pics of bedrooms in my house. They were a shithole. Me/kids have managed to keep the bedrooms tidy /reasonable.

But my stairs and living room are a mess. I could probably have it all sorted in a couple of hours. But it feels like the end of the world. I feel so drained. And even when i do start doing it something really silly can happen then I feel like giving up.

Or like a few weeks back I started feeling really positive. And got loads done . But after that period of positive cleaning. I won't get that feeling back for a while and just stop.

It should be really simple but it does not feel like it.

I only get a bath /shower once a week sometimes less. I could smell myself earlier and all I did was use baby wipes under my arms and a bit of deodorant.

Anyway I have added photos again . To Shame myself into actually cleaning up .

Ok, I’ve misunderstood then. Apologies, to clarify then

who was sleeping on the floor?

whose bedrooms were they?

why did you start that thread?

Right the trashed room with mattress on floor. My GS stayed over and sleped on the floor on mattress. All 3 of them trashed the room. I did not sort it out for a few days or so. I sorted it all on the weekend the younger kids were at their dad's place. The other pic was after i sorted it. There are duvet and duvet covers thete although I had not yet out thr duvet in the covers. The other pic is a cupboard were I keep bedding.

Why is someone sleeping on a mattress on the floor a problem? Is it because it's dustier down there?

Otherwise OP had messy kids bedrooms and started the thread to motivate her to sort them out, which worked. I am not sure why that would be a problem for anyone.

It's not when it's a kiddie sleep over. I have a spare room . But obviously a 5 year old is gonna want to share with his young uncles

If you honestly can’t see that the state of the home plus the posts from the op about her health/wellbeing are concerning I am not sure how I can help you?

I have posted giving my view, it’s ok that it’s different to yours.

I set out very clearly how the culmination of all factors is indicative of neglect, not just of the children but the op herself, who went without washing for so long that she could smell herself.

several posters have indicated that this is not normal and she needs to seek/accept more support than she is currently getting

@captainjacksparrow it's more that you have twice pointed to specific things which do not seem particularly problematic as evidence there's a problem, then when challenged you move onto other things but keep referring to the original things in subsequent posts.

OP knows she has a problem and is doing her best. It doesn't seem to me like her best is all that bad really so I'm not sure if it is helpful to have a go at her.

I’m really not trying to have a go at her.

I’m thinking of how her children must feel living like this and the impact it will be having on them.

and it’s difficult because one thing in isolation - ie mattress on floor for a sleep over, no big deal.

however by her own admission the room was in that state for several days until the children went to their dads, so actually that is a problem. No child should live in filth.

when you add it to everything else the op has posted it is very worrying.

would your children like it if you took them to school smelly and looking unkempt? - that’s just one example by the way

Op. I am sorry to say I have not read all the replies, I hate when people do that, however I will carry on.

You seem very much like my daughter. She gets totally overwhelmed by stuff. It blocks her view of life. There is no good telling her to do this little bit or that little bit because the big picture is smothering her.

Over the years I have learned that when she is smothered there is no point talking to her about it because she is in some kind of box where nothing can get in or out except the panic and overwhelm she feels. Does this seem like you?

I don't know what the answer is, just know that you are not alone. Other people are there too. You are a good person, your house is fine. You don't have to be perfect. If your children love you and you love them, that's enough.

Please do the stairs though, even if it's just sweeping stuff to the ground so nobody falls.

💐 just wanted to acknowledge your post I will try and reply later if I can

@captainjacksparrow I agree with you. Not sure why you are getting so much grief.

Forget the house for a second, why are you not keeping yourself clean? Hair is annoying to dry but a body shower takes only minutes. What is stopping you doing this? What help do you need and can we do anything from afar? You don't deserve to be shamed.

Now for the house - it'll take a burst but it all looks easy to sort. Bin bags and bleach! It's impossible to jeep a house tidy so don't feel too bad xx

Hi OP, I haven't posted on your thread before but have read them.

You're doing great. You're making progress, and dealing with a heck of a lot of information, suggestions, and judgment.

@captainjacksparrow you might be a social worker, but you are not the OP's social worker, and she is not under your investigation, so what are you hoping to achieve here? Shaming her? Self-righteousness? Assuming it's your day off maybe find something else to do?

But if you insist on over-examining a snapshot of someone's life on here, do it properly - the kids are probably happy to have sandwiches or a takeaway with their mum because they are safe in their own home and are all together - likewise sleeping on a mattress temporarily or anything else you decide is appalling. Give the OP the credit she deserves for trying to make improvements here, within the capabilities and possibilities she has - if she has said families and friends are not a source of support, it's pretty rude to suggest otherwise.

So initié book, anyone who is ill or disabled and not functioning ‘at capacity’ can’t be a parent because they are neglectful.

Nice bit of ableism there.

@captainjacksparrow
me and 3 dc (incl a baby) slept on duvets on a floor in a room with bags of our clothes round the edges of the room. SS could not have been less interested despite me begging for help and support. GPs only wanted to refer me to CBT (waiting list months and months) and nothing else.
OP thank you for this thread - it has made me realise a lot about myself and why I sometimes feel the way I do. So to you. You have done amazing today and inspired me to clean and tidy my kitchen too.
Those who don’t get it never will and probably don’t want to. Some of us do get it though.

I dont believe for one minute @captainjacksparrow is a social worker. Not for a single solitary second.
Because trust me I've seen child neglect and SQUALOR and this would not be on any social workers radar. She must think saying this makes her important

Out of interest why were you living like that?

And the pile on begins 😂although in fairness took longer than expected.

@LeRougeEtLeNoir im suggesting the OP reached out for support, I listed several options in a previous post.

nowhere have I stated disabled people, or those with long term physical/mental illness cannot parent.

@FrancisSeaton happy to PM you my registration number

@NoStarsTonight im really sorry you were not given the support you asked for, I hope things are better for you now 💐

Excellent I look forward to that one!

All together it certainly would be.

Where the hell did you get that from? 😂

Report to mumsnet then rather than sound off on the thread.

they can confirm no sock puppetting (how does one spell that?!) is happening

Still waiting for that pm...

Already sent - please check 🙂

You really don’t have to prove anything to some randomer on MN..