House is still a shithole. Pic included

[Shithole101]

A few weeks or so back I posted pics of bedrooms in my house. They were a shithole. Me/kids have managed to keep the bedrooms tidy /reasonable.

But my stairs and living room are a mess. I could probably have it all sorted in a couple of hours. But it feels like the end of the world. I feel so drained. And even when i do start doing it something really silly can happen then I feel like giving up.

Or like a few weeks back I started feeling really positive. And got loads done . But after that period of positive cleaning. I won't get that feeling back for a while and just stop.

It should be really simple but it does not feel like it.

I only get a bath /shower once a week sometimes less. I could smell myself earlier and all I did was use baby wipes under my arms and a bit of deodorant.

Anyway I have added photos again . To Shame myself into actually cleaning up .

You are, quite rightly, prioritising those you care for, both human and DDog, and providing what they need. And DDog is also providing daily exercise, which is important for your own health.

These are the important things.

(I have more to say, but have to do stuff today. I'll hopefully be back later.)

CPNs and social workers place far too much emphasis on housework, in my experience

So you don’t think children should live in a safe, hazard free environment and have a nutritional meal everyday?

the children act would disagree with you (thankfully)

You have chosen to pick out negative things . Yes I know its a fuck up, that's kind of the point of my posting . Its fine you saw my last thread that's not a problem it can allow me to see up and downs my bad bits and good bits. I have already said im a prick with take aways.

Have you seen the parts where I said I have batch cooked . And that I'm hoping to do more batch cooking today . Have you seen the bits from the last thread where I managed to sort out the bedrooms and keep on top pf them. I have you seem from this thread that I have cleaned the kitchen.

And omg my kids had/made a sandwich. Guess I'm going to hell.

Yes I saw the positives, however I am giving a view as to how I see things.

you are equally very defensive in your responses to some posts.

the truth is as you know, something as to give. If a professional visited your home they would be very concerned and I suspect you know this deep down.

that’s why I, and several others, have suggested you seeking professional support.

If only you knew 🤣

You don’t have to share more.

like I said, I’m giving my view. I suspect others agree with me but have been concerned about being jumped on and so have kept quiet

This is the thing I don't know if I'm obsorbing the iron. When I was pregnant I had to have infusions because I was not obsorbing it. I don't know of that was pregnancy thing or a long term thing. So now I Need to take the iron . See if there's a change. I don't feel like there is. Nut I need to do what gp says then retest bloods to check the levels.

And yes I agree there could be some cross over . I mean if you feel no energy run down etc when it gos on for a long time your not going to feel mentally good.

She has!!
And you cannot make someone who is ill and too weak to do housework or cook do those things out of sheer will.

@LeRougeEtLeNoir Exactly. And that is why many of us is saying she needs to get help. To let people in her house to help her. Because it is a concern witb children living in this environment.

With respect though you’re looking at this from the point of the op. Think about this from the experience of her children

her children sometimes don’t have bedding on their beds (which is considered a red flag for neglect by the way)

they are walking around on top of dirt and rubbish

they don’t know if they will have a lovely home cooked meal, take away or have to feed themselves

they don’t know if mum will be able to play with them, or will be too exhausted

they get taken to school at times when their mum smells and looks unkempt which their friends will see

they don’t appear to have many boundaries about that they can and cannot do re the mess and tidying up. (I know they have SEN but even small tasks can be achieved)

@captainjacksparrow what sort if help do you think the OP needs above going to see the GP, which she has already done?

Who do you think would help?
Are you saying that the children shouldn’t be with her because she is anaemic and exhausted?

I mean it’s all well and good to say you think no one dare say anything because they’d be jumped on but it’s really its not a lot if help to the OP if you are not actually giving her pointers as to who those ‘professionals’ are that she hasn’t contacted yet…. She has seen her GP, has tried to get counselling etc… What else do you propose?

Xpost @captainjacksparrow

Nope I’m looking at it as someone who is chronically ill, can’t cook or do any housework at all. I’m all too aware of the limitations coming with being ill as well as the fact that not doing everything ‘perfectly’ doesn’t mean you are neglectful.
The photos the OP posted are nothing scary. The dcs are fed, dressed. They are looked after. There is nothing in there that screams neglect or abuse.

I agree with you.
The stairs are a 15 min job. I have empathy for OP if she is unwell. I have an autoimmune illness with limited mobility which causes fatigue but I have to do these things I have children.
I have to priotise tasks
The not washing for a week is not acceptable.
There is more going on than suspected anemia.
OP needs support, she says she has adult children if she's that exhausted she can't pick the crap up off the stairs one of them needs to do it for her.

She could go back to her GP.

speak to;

• friends
• family
• homestart
• early help
• social care
• school etc

actually the op has made a lot of excuses for things and not considered any of the many things she could do to access support

and respectfully I firmly disagree that neglect is not a feature here and neglect in itself is a form of abuse.

you may find that unkind but it doesn’t make it any less true

Too exhausted to tidy the stairs which is a 5-10 min job but not too tired to babysit

i hope these are not babies/toddlers as they could put all sorts in their mouths….

@captainjacksparrow where does it say the children don't have bedding?
The only reference to bedding I can find is that op says doing it makes her feel unwell. I couldn't find the bit where she said she didn't do it.

On her previous thread, which was about the bedrooms, the beds had no bedding and one child was just on a mattress on the floor as the bed was not assembled

Even after they had been tided the bed by the window still had no bedding, just a thin blanket over the top

Omg why are you twisting everything. I was washing and sorting bedding. My kids were not here that weekend

The way I tackle the housework is to break it down into tasks, and I'll try and work out how long each thing to takes. One of my most productive times is when I put a wash on, which takes 1hr15minutes. I'll then use that time to work through the tasks. Watching the timer go down helps to motivate me, as I then promise myself a cup of tea afterwards!

they may have been away, but your older child was sleeping just on a mattress on the floor No?

and those bedrooms (where your children sleep) were trashed? Yes? Because that’s why you started that thread

@captainjacksparrow if you are of the opinion that messy kids bedrooms = neglect I would not like to be involved with you as a social worker!

No ffs

It’s not just messy rooms though is it? See my above post about the children’s experience and all the posts by the OP.

she is not functioning at capacity which is affecting her children, ergo neglect.