House is still a shithole. Pic included

[Shithole101]

A few weeks or so back I posted pics of bedrooms in my house. They were a shithole. Me/kids have managed to keep the bedrooms tidy /reasonable.

But my stairs and living room are a mess. I could probably have it all sorted in a couple of hours. But it feels like the end of the world. I feel so drained. And even when i do start doing it something really silly can happen then I feel like giving up.

Or like a few weeks back I started feeling really positive. And got loads done . But after that period of positive cleaning. I won't get that feeling back for a while and just stop.

It should be really simple but it does not feel like it.

I only get a bath /shower once a week sometimes less. I could smell myself earlier and all I did was use baby wipes under my arms and a bit of deodorant.

Anyway I have added photos again . To Shame myself into actually cleaning up .

I don't need to rehome my dog because he made a mess on the stairs.

Sorry another health thought.

Iron deficiency, esp from not absorbing iron, plus extreme fatigue could be coeliac. Have you ever been tested? Another one to ask for if not (although the blood test isn’t definitive unfortunately).

OP I just want to talk about one thing you said which I used to say.
You said setting a timer for 15 minutes is no good because you can't get it all done in 15 minutes.
This is muddled thinking. You don't have to do it all in one go. You have to find a way to break it down into smaller steps then it won't feel so overwhelming.

I used to be the same - so much to do, can't possibly do it all, so there's no point even starting.

That's the whole point of setting a timer to 15 minutes. Or 10 or 5 or whatever you can manage. I'd probably start with 5.

Pick one thing. Your stairs, say.
Set your timer. Do however much you can in those minutes. When the timer goes off, stop!
Have a cup of tea. That's one thing done.

Then, when you're ready, pick the next thing, set your timer. Could be to empty the washing machine or clear the coffee table or clear a bit of kitchen worktop. Anything. This might be after you finish your tea, or when the kids are in bed, or the next day.

But for today, make the one thing you do picking up your phone and calling the doctor for an appointment.

And on the day of the appointment, write down how are feeling. All of it.
Take it with you so you can show it to the doctor or you'll forget to tell him something important!
Let the doctor decide if this is depression or long covid or ME.

I agree with you about the dog. But like you, I will not be popular for saying this.... the OP and her SN children come first, the dog last. If dog is messing the place with chewing and flinging stuff around, then it sounds like a chore too much. No sooner has OP got the place sorted than dog comes along and undoes all the hard work.

The children may be a bit messy too, but they are kids, they are human, and they have SN.

I don't know, maybe the dog is a comfort or something for the kids, but it is certainly not a comfort for OP.

@Shithole101 Your kitchen looks a lot better than mine does at the moment. You are brilliant to have done that. Think about dog and be realistic please.

Can I just say something. People are starting to jump on about my dog. But not understanding he's not the issue . Yeah he messed up the stairs but that does not mean he's the problem. I am..
Had I been Doing the stuff I should be there would be nothing for him to take to the stairs.

I know people won't get lt. So I'm not replying to anything regarding my dog. It will just go In circles.

What is coeliac? I need to take it one step at a time . In couple weeks or so I can my bloods retested . And the it from there

With the timer thing. I'm just thinking ok 15 mins or what ever. Say I cleaned a corner of the kitchen. Guaranteed a couple of hours later there will be stuff there. And no one will own up to it. And then I have a new stress to deal with. So need to do things as a whole. Because if its not actually tidy as a whole . It gives permission for others to dump things in that clean spot because it's not like the kitchen is tidy .

It would work for small areas such as the stairs toilet/bathroom hall ways .so it's not a complete no go.

Kitchen looks great OP!

Coeliac is a reaction to wheat - not just intolerance but your immune system actually attacks your body if you eat wheat/gluten. It can mean your gut is constantly inflamed and you can’t absorb nutrients. So you get anaemic and very tired. You’d probably also have some gut symptoms if you had it, gas bloating dodgy poos etc.

I’m not saying you have it, but if you are getting a blood tests done for iron, this might be worth adding to the list - along with iron, I would ask for full blood count, vit B12, vit D, thyroid and coeliac.

Does everyone have their own box or basket they can dump their stuff?
Coeliac is an allergy to the gluten in wheat, so people with it can't eat regular bread, pastry, cakes etc.
I hear what you say about the kitchen. Just tackle the smaller things for now, then once you feel a bit more on top of it, tackle the kitchen. It might need more thought, so don't worry about it yet. One step at a time.

Oh ok . I don't have any issues with gut etc. I already had bloods done and was told to take folic acid for 3 months . Then they will retest. I think its a tick box / trial and error.

With respect, the OP says she has anaemia. She literally and physically won't be able to do those things you are suggesting.

OP, I've had anaemia too. It literally sucks the life out of you, so please go easy on yourself, especially with the negative self talk. It's not your fault. :heart: It takes a while to get back to normal.

That is nothing love! I am not showing mine!!!

Oh ok . I don't have any issues with gut etc. I already had bloods done and was told to take folic acid for 3 months . Then they will retest. I think its a tick box / trial and error.

Fair enough, without gut issues they probably wouldn’t agree to a coeliac test anyway. But do push for the B12 test at least and ideally the thyroid too as those often go together with anaemia

Thank you . I think I blanked most of that post out. Its just really hard to explain why I can't do them things. When I say I'm tired drained. It just comes across like a small thing. Like everyone gets tired don't they. I don't think people fully understand the effects of anemia I don't fully.

Please do.

💐. It's been a whole lot worse. I think I post before it gets a whole lot worse to make myself do it .

You will get there.

Pls read 'How to Keep House While Drowning' by KC Davis. It helped me

Yes, I get it. It's so much more than tired/drained. It is literal physical and mental exhaustion, beyond the norm of what most people experience. I know people mean well, saying to shower and exercise etc but, as you say, unless you've experienced it yourself, the devastating effects of anaemia are so hard to understand.

A few people have said this . What sort of book is it? I'm not very good at reading
I don't take it in.

@Shithole101 Coeliac is an autoimmune disease to gluten. You can be a silent Coeliac with no symptoms rather than anaemia. I would definitely ask the drs to include this in your blood test. Be aware though, that you can get a false negative blood result and biopsy is the only true way to assess internal damage.

I understand this as pets are part of the family. My parents had a dog they loved and paid for training when it becsme obsessed with eating shoes and nothing worked. Eventually it became too much to cope with and a couple who owned a farm took him in fed him well and he more or less lived outside or in the warmth of barns etc and loved it. All I was suggesting is given this is undeniably stressful for you and you did mention the dog is adding to your problems it would be one less thing to stress about. I also knew it wouldn't be a popular suggestion but it's definitely what I'd do in your particular circumstances thats all I was saying. I do wish you well and hope you can turn things around 👍

Kindle version is 2.99. Audio version is 6.99. You can also get it in paperback.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Keep-House-While-Drowning/dp/B09QMPHKQC/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1641466552&sr=8-1

It is very easily digestible. She even has bits that say "If you want the abridged version, skip to page X now".

I don't even know what abridged means. If there's words like that there's probably no point for me .

There are other things I have seen but i forgot what it's called. You do certain rooms/things on certain days . I just need to find it again and get some ink for my printer so I can print the sheets off

@Shithole101 massive squishes and happy to send pics of what mine was like a few weeks ago - and still is in some areas.

im doing a decluttering 12 week course with a lady called Heather Tingle. She’s a registered declutter with APDO and specialises in folks with autism/adhd/chronic illness/fatigue etc - she has all of them. She gets what it’s like.

she has a podcast, a free Facebook group that’s really supportive etc.

I think KC Davies also has a YouTube channel and some old podcasts you can search for if you like her style of writing.

I prefer Heather as she’s U.K. based and understands our help system and agencies available to us over here. Please check her out and maybe I’ll see you in the group. x