Anyone admit to loving their partner more than their kids

[looking4pup]

Do you love your DH, BF, Partner more than your children?

Do you prioritise and care for them more than your DC?

I don't mean "it's a different sort of love" "I love them both but in different ways" I mean if you were on a sinking ship and had to choose or hypothetically he moved away to the other side of the world and your child had to stay what would you do?

My DH works away for months at a time. It's just been me and 2 dd's 11 and 13 really. That's just for info in case I'm asked. My answer is no I love my kids more and would choose them over anything.

I'm just being nosey and curious if anyone does prefer their husband.

*loves her DH more

My mum always made us aware that it was my dad she loved above all of us. She thinks we’re completely bonkers that we love our children more than our DPs .

My husband was in the military and DS1 followed in his footsteps. I told her I find it so much harder to say goodbye to DS1 than I ever did to DH whenever he goes anywhere, and she replied “there’s something wrong with you”, yet everyone else I say it to agrees with the sentiment.

Children would come first without even having to think about it !

I always knew that my parents loved each other more than us kids. We all knew. My mum told us. As kids it made us feel surplus to requirements. Like something they had to do to tick a box.
I’m very LC with them now.

I choose to spend my life with my DH not my kids but my kids, even my adult ones, I would prioritise in any life-risking scenario. That’s nature.
i would expect the same of him.
Once they are adults though, but e have to prioritise our own happiness. That’s how marriages should work.

After 2 weeks of wet half term, I’d save anyone over my child!

lighthearted of course!

When the children were younger I would have saved them in a heartbeat. Now they are adults with their own families and it is just me and DH. It feels less cut and dried now. I think I would say that I would rescue whichever was more vulnerable/more likely to survive.

My children come first and always will. When you have children you have to accept that they will be your first priority.

No matter how annoying they can be or how much I may disapprove of something they might do I will always love them. I can't say the same for my husband. So no I don't love him more and if it was a choice of who to save I would choose them and he would understand that and do the same.

Think I'd save the dog before the husband

My children come first every time in every situation.

The idea of someone saving their partner from a sinking ship and leaving their children to drown is abhorrent.

I always think it must the case (and is so bizarre) when military families say they had to send their kids away to boarding school for stability. I don’t get that. Surely non military parent settles at ‘home’ with kids where they go to school and military parent works away and stays wherever possible. Instead parents stay together and kids only get to come home as and when.

Well, you choose your partner whereas kids are more luck-of-the-draw.

If you’d never leave them to live with DP… so you wouldn’t sacrifice yourself for your children in an event where your DP was safe?!

(eg a sinking boat that your DP isn’t on, you’d let your kids drown and you be safe/also drown so they wouldn’t have to live with DP?! If that’s the case, then you should probably look to get out of your relationship).

Nigella's father named her as an actual satellite of himself so it doesn't surprise me that he'd rather make himself happy than her.

I do agree with this to an extent. A happy marriage is the foundation from which happy children can grow. But I know my love for my child is unconditional. The love for more my husband comes with many conditions and could die if not nurtured and protected. I would choose my child every time in a critical situation and I would expect my husband to do the same.

@karmasacat only if they suddenly find themselves in a lifeboat with only two
seats 🤷‍♀️

She’s a great mum, they’re a lovely family and great fun to be with so it’s not an issue other than I was shocked when it came up

My kids are my world. I could live without my partner but not my kids. My mum made it clear that her husband is her world and I find it very upsetting and odd.

This

I agree. I work with a woman who says she'd save her partner first "because he's more use to her". She says it with a smug, dry, half-chuckle.

I’d use my husband as an actual human shield to protect our children. I’d ve extremely upset, unhappy and lonely without my husband, but with time I would be able to accept it, I would never get to that point if either of our children died.

Have you ever said “actually, I think it’s you that has something wrong with them Mum. But we can agree to differ if you like”

I would choose my kids over DH. I would expect him to do exactly the same, choose kids over me.

Not necessarily to do with a husband, but I remember reading somewhere that younger women are less likely to sacrifice their own lives for their children than older women, because they still have the ability to create more children. This makes sense to me from an evolutionary perspective, so I can see the logic behind how some women would choose their husband over their children.

Its a different kind of love and difficult to.measure but if I had to save either my kids or my dh ,I would save my children who wouldnt?
And as much as I do.love my husband ,losing a,child must be the most awful.thing a,parent would have to through .

People who love someone else more than their children are more likely the ones who don’t think twice about putting their kids in vulnerable positions. No one who loves their children more than themselves or somebody else would put their kids in upsetting situations. We see it all the time, people who put their love lives before their kids.

No man will ever be more important than my kids. Adults have to earn love, children don’t.

We would both save our kids over each other even though they are grown up. We would also save our grandchildren over each other.