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Original poster

Will you/did you request for your child to move out when they turn 18

404 replies

parateach · 26/10/2023 00:27

Will you/did you request for your child to move out when they turn 18

And if not, will you request rent?

Thank you

OP posts:
Isoqueen · 26/10/2023 08:31

Ours all moved out by the time they were 20 but in those days it was easier because rents were cheaper. Some of the ‘kids’ round here are still living at home in their late 20s and 30 s. I never charged rent because they were young and studying and didn’t really have much at all.

jannier · 26/10/2023 08:32

My daughter is 28 moved back after uni and pays towards bills. Her boyfriend has been here just over a year saving for their own place.

Syndulla · 26/10/2023 08:35

If they are in full time education then I'll financially support them fully and they can live here.

If they are working full time then they can live here then I expect a contribution to their living costs. I obviously wouldn't charge them market rates, but I do feel it's an important skill to learn how to budget and to take into account living costs when making spending decisions.

PortalooSunset · 26/10/2023 08:36

No and no. Might be different if we were struggling with household costs though.

OobaOoba · 26/10/2023 08:37

No and no.

Patchworksack · 26/10/2023 08:37

It’s something we’ve been thinking about - failure to launch seems to be a huge issue for young adults chiefly because of the housing market now. There is a balance between turfing then out at 18 and still making their pack lunch and charging them £50 a month at 28 (recent thread).
My oldest is 18 next year and will still be doing Alevels then planning to go to Uni - he knows we have savings in his name to help with costs and he’s working and saving now as well. If he wanted to come back home as a working adult he’d need to contribute towards household costs and chores. How much we charged would depend if he was saving hard towards a deposit or living the high life - I can see he would be very focussed on his next goal but his younger brother would spend everything and our approach has to be fair to them all.

Bertiesmum3 · 26/10/2023 08:38

parateach · 26/10/2023 00:49

Would you consider asking for rent out of their student loan cruel?

Yes!
Taking any money from your own children is cruel!

hoophoophooray · 26/10/2023 08:39

No. Rule here is you can live for free if in education, but you'll need to earn your own luxuries like posh skincare and pricey makeup (DD1 looking at you here)

Once working full time, 1/3rd wages in keep.

MsRosley · 26/10/2023 08:41

All the posters saying their kids will 'always have a home' with them really make me wonder. So they'd be happy if, say, their son just rocked back after uni and lived with them for the next 20 years? They wouldn't anticipate that causing any issues at all?

EwwSprouts · 26/10/2023 08:41

parateach · 26/10/2023 00:49

Would you consider asking for rent out of their student loan cruel?

Yes. DS is a second year student and we make it up to the maximum and it still doesn't cover rent, utilities and food. We expected him to get a job in the holidays to pay for his social life and extras. He has a roof here as long as he needs it. Would charge rent after graduation if full-time earning good wage.

Nowherenew · 26/10/2023 08:47

I moved out at 18.

I will definitely not be asking my DD to move out at 18 but I’ll support her if she wants to do so.

If she is in education or on an apprenticeship, then I would not ask for any money.

When she’s working then I will ask for a small amount.

Unless your child is abusive, you cannot kick them out once your CB stops.

Aparecium · 26/10/2023 08:48

No. Our kids will always have a home with us. They contribute to the running of the household, eg doing dishes, cooking, bits of shopping, just as if they were living independently. We do not ask for rent, but if we could not afford financially to keep them, then paying something towards costs would also be contributing to the running of the household. But rent as a principle - no.

Eldest has been living at home since graduating from uni, as he found an excellent job a short commute from us. He wants a place of his own eventually, so why make it harder for him to save up?

Nowherenew · 26/10/2023 08:48

hoophoophooray · 26/10/2023 08:39

No. Rule here is you can live for free if in education, but you'll need to earn your own luxuries like posh skincare and pricey makeup (DD1 looking at you here)

Once working full time, 1/3rd wages in keep.

Good idea.

avocadotofu · 26/10/2023 08:49

Of course not to both!

SheerLucks · 26/10/2023 08:53

No we wouldn't dream of it.

Our DS19 works part time and pays £250 a month in rent to us. He's very happy to do this as he says it makes him feel more independent. Our DD16 is at sixth form college.

We live in one of the most expensive cities in the UK outside of London and we have the space, so as far as I'm concerned they can stay as long as they want.

OhDoSitDownAndShutUp · 26/10/2023 08:56

Bloody hell!

My kids didn't rush to leave - one was 25, the other 28! They worked from the age of 17, and paid a small amount of board.

Lemonyfuckit · 26/10/2023 08:57

parateach · 26/10/2023 00:49

Would you consider asking for rent out of their student loan cruel?

Yes, if you can afford not to. I think whilst they are still in full time education (which obviously if you do higher education will go past the age of 18) the parents should still support the child, as the point is it's full time education which doesn't leave time to work (or only a bit of part time for work, without falling behind on studies). Student loan doesn't stretch v far (albeit appreciate that it does often cover rent where the student is living away from home).

Imagwine · 26/10/2023 09:00

Maraudingmarauders · 26/10/2023 00:34

18 is a very arbitrary line.
For me with my parents the options for living at home were full time education for free, or working and paying rent. Didn't matter on age.

This.

But I’d try to save the rent to give back to them at some stage. Certainly for a few years.

Busgirl29 · 26/10/2023 09:04

It would be a rare 18 year old who could afford to rent their own place here in London, so I don't think moving out would be possible even if they wanted to. Minimum wage for an 18 year old is only £7.49 an hour; an annual salary of £15k would not go far!
If they were at home and working full time, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for housekeeping i.e. money towards food and the extra energy used. Maybe £150/month giving them free access to anything they want to eat? It depends how much the family is struggling to pay for essentials really.

HelloDaisy · 26/10/2023 09:05

Ds is 20 and living at home. I charge him a small amount of rent as he is doing an apprenticeship but feel it’s good for him to learn to budget bills etc.
Dd is planning on living at home whilst at uni as we have a great university in our town but won’t charge her any rent whilst studying.

Both have to help with cooking and cleaning as I am not their maid!

Imagwine · 26/10/2023 09:05

Im presuming your partner wants to charge their step child (your dc) rent from their loan?

BellaAndDave · 26/10/2023 09:05

We never asked any of them to move out and never charged rent as they were saving for house deposits. The last one moved out at 27 and all of them are very grateful to have been able to live with us rent free to afford to buy their own homes.

User0000009 · 26/10/2023 09:05

Deffo paid rent once earning. They leave when they are ready to or able to. Oldest at 32 bought a flat and younger one is saving. Wouldn’t have crossed my mind to ask them to go. Bizarre

Theimpossiblegirl · 26/10/2023 09:07

If you genuinely can't afford to run the home after losing any money that gets stopped when your child turns 18 (maintenance, universal credit, child benefit) then I could see why you would have to ask for a contribution from whatever money they get. But if you can afford to run the home, you shouldn't charge your child to live there.

Ragwort · 26/10/2023 09:07

I agree that I would be disappointed if my DS wanted to live at home once he had found a reasonable paying job .. my DS has already lived away at Uni, lived in a HMO (found a room via spare.room.com) during his 'sandwich year' and is now - post Uni - living and working overseas. I do think it can be a problem when young people 'fail to launch' and - genuine reasons aside - I would hope my DS is independent enough to want to leave home. And no way would I be enabling a partner to move in as well.
Like other posters have mentioned, I don't want to live in some sort of 'house share' arrangement... and although my DS & I have a close relationship I don't think young adults living at home is good for anyone long term. It's not a matter of finance, I could afford to let my DS live at home but where's the privacy - for both sides? I've got friends with adult DC the same age as my DS who still enable their DC to live at home & seem to actively encourage their partners to move in as well .. often these young adults have far more disposable income that the parents and lead a very comfortable lifestyle whilst paying a pittance in rent to the parents and no sign of saving to move out. At my stage in life I have no interest in negotiating when to use my own washing machine or kitchen.
My DB was still living at home at 30 Shock ... eventually when my DPs retired and wanted to relocate he finally moved out!

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