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Original poster

Why do consultants ask about marriage?

169 replies

2023shady · 18/10/2023 21:21

Might be a stupid question
Went to see a consultant at the hospital
Usual questions all fine, medical history, do I smoke, smear tests up to date etc etc
Then he asked if I was married. Said no
Next question do I have a partner or am I single

I asked if it affected my medical treatment and he said oh.. no. So I refused to answer
Not in a PITA way but.. do men get asked that? Confused

OP posts:
LosingPatents · 18/10/2023 21:22

Married men statistically live longer ... maybe we live shorter!

( maybe he fancied you)

Anawi · 18/10/2023 21:24

Maybe as an in to provide a chance to discuss any potential domestic abuse situations? 🤔 Or potential for support at home depending on medical condition or impact of future treatment. Those reasons came immediately to mind.

Helenloveslee4eva · 18/10/2023 21:24

Yes my partner is a medical negligence lawyer ….

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General health
pipindressup · 18/10/2023 21:25

Next if kin? Work up to the domestic violence question?
Do you have someone at home to take care of you if needed?
Is it really so hard to answer? Single , civil partner ect is a quick answer surely?

CopperLion · 18/10/2023 21:26

Is it a lifestyle / well-being related question? Admittedly an old-fashioned one, but I think it might tick some generic ‘social support’ indicator.

dammit88 · 18/10/2023 21:27

Many of the reasons above - do you have support etc. It helps inform care.

nancypowers1983 · 18/10/2023 21:27

I always assume it's to consider what support you have at home. Men do get asked it as well though, I know my husband got asked his marital status when was in hospital a while ago. I don't see it as intrusive, it's just them building up a picture of their patient and home life.

Cloudburstings · 18/10/2023 21:31

Aren’t they asking who your next of kin is?

and they need that in case they need to contact them during your treatment?

and sure, it might be minor low risk treatment, but I think they are always supposed to have someone on file - patients in for something minor can have an issue that suddenly turns serious

Silverdogblue · 18/10/2023 21:33

I would consider this part of your social history, like education level achieved and whether you have caring responsibilities. Men get asked it.

CurlsnSunshinetime4tea · 18/10/2023 21:34

probably to find out what support systems you have available to you?
post op care, or help with a long term condition.
100% reasonable question.

realpies · 18/10/2023 21:35

It's part of the medical assessment model ti ensure a holistic assessment

EmmaEmerald · 18/10/2023 21:38

I thought it was next of kin but it would be easier to just ask that!

MabelMoo23 · 18/10/2023 21:39

It’s to do with support at home. Your next of kin isn’t necessarily someone who lives with you / or can support you

FractiousPangolin · 18/10/2023 21:47

I'd expect the HCP to explain the purpose of the question when OP asked, though. It doesn't sound as though he did.

Chewbecca · 18/10/2023 21:53

It depends on what the appointment was about. Very often it will help build up a picture of you and your life which might impact aspects of your care.
Better they care than are robotic.

Original poster
2023shady · 18/10/2023 21:55

Not to do with next of kin, they already had that from reception when I checked in
That was the only question. It was very much "married? Partner? Single?"
When I said I didn't wish to answer that was the end of the questions, nothing about support etc
It's really hard to describe the tone in writing! First appointment and they can't do anything at that hospital anyway as it's too complex

OP posts:
Lollypop701 · 18/10/2023 22:03

Just been for a consultation and was also asked.. and I answered. Think it’s standard

Original poster
2023shady · 18/10/2023 22:05

I wouldn't have minded being asked if I had support at home as that makes sense
But if I had a partner he could be long distance, disabled, a useless prick... Grin

OP posts:
agent765 · 18/10/2023 22:06

Helenloveslee4eva · 18/10/2023 21:24

Yes my partner is a medical negligence lawyer ….

Tea snort!

MoreHairyThanScary · 18/10/2023 22:07

Social history is a recognised part of patient history taking, it helps to build a holistic picture of the patient and may open up to other questions relevant to your diagnosis and treatment

Original poster
2023shady · 18/10/2023 22:09

MoreHairyThanScary · 18/10/2023 22:07

Social history is a recognised part of patient history taking, it helps to build a holistic picture of the patient and may open up to other questions relevant to your diagnosis and treatment

That was the only question though. Nothing else about family/home/lifestyle
The exact conversation was
Medical history
Medications (current)
Do I smoke
Are my smear tests up to date
Am I married

Done. Didn't even ask about children

I didn't mean to be rude to him and was polite but I seem to be of the age where people keep looking confused I'm not married

OP posts:
olympicsrock · 18/10/2023 22:18

It’s also about lifestyle and decision making. Big decisions affect the family as well as the patient

Sugarfree23 · 18/10/2023 22:24

If the visit was anything to do with fertility / cycle issues or any dietary issues (anything from bulimia to allergys) then they could be about to ask 'what does your DH / partner think?'

I guess they might also be looking out for any forms of domestic abuse, sexual, financial, physical etc

dandelionandburdock36 · 18/10/2023 22:25

2023shady · 18/10/2023 22:09

That was the only question though. Nothing else about family/home/lifestyle
The exact conversation was
Medical history
Medications (current)
Do I smoke
Are my smear tests up to date
Am I married

Done. Didn't even ask about children

I didn't mean to be rude to him and was polite but I seem to be of the age where people keep looking confused I'm not married

Show quote history

The consultant doesn’t care if you’re married (no offence) and when you refused to answer, the consultant moved on because you’d made your feelings clear.

Whenever I’ve taken my child in to the drs, hospital, walk-in etc, they’ve always asked questions about who’s around her at home and if she goes to nursery. I just answer truthfully even though it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with a rash or a temperature. I tend to feel there are reasons for all of these questions and they’re bigger than my sensibilities.

Britneyfan · 18/10/2023 22:26

I’m a GP, it seems a slightly weird question except for certain situations, I think it very much depends what the consultation was for and what specialty. You said they asked about smear history so I’m assuming it was gynae. It’s often a very relevant part of the medical history for gynae issues (especially if you’re going for fertility issues but I assume that wasn’t it or you wouldn’t be confused!) But for example when I was seeing gynae about endometriosis issues they asked about this and it was very relevant because they probably would have treated it differently if I had had a current partner, but certain issues such as current fertility become less relevant when you’re single even if you might want to conceive in the future etc.