Page 4 | Why do consultants ask about marriage?

Ger1atricMillennial · 19/10/2023 00:45

Its screening for IPV (Intimate Partner Violence) it's a standard question in any women's health situation if you are on your own in a place where you cannot be heard. If you had said yes, they would have asked if there was any reason you might feel unsafe at home etc.

USaYwHatNow · 19/10/2023 00:46

If you've attended for a gynaecologists consultation, could they have been about to screen for STDs? And a way to broach the subject is to check your relationship status??

TheSpottedZebra · 19/10/2023 00:47

Ger1atricMillennial · 19/10/2023 00:45

Its screening for IPV (Intimate Partner Violence) it's a standard question in any women's health situation if you are on your own in a place where you cannot be heard. If you had said yes, they would have asked if there was any reason you might feel unsafe at home etc.

But being married doesn't impact that?

A patient could 'just' be living with a partner, unmarried, and there be violence. Or not.

Edit: ignore my comment, they asked about partner, as well as husband!

sumayyah · 19/10/2023 00:51

2023shady · 18/10/2023 21:21

Might be a stupid question
Went to see a consultant at the hospital
Usual questions all fine, medical history, do I smoke, smear tests up to date etc etc
Then he asked if I was married. Said no
Next question do I have a partner or am I single

I asked if it affected my medical treatment and he said oh.. no. So I refused to answer
Not in a PITA way but.. do men get asked that?

I often get asked and just tell them "divorced" closes the conversation right down
At an appointment I took son's dad with me and wasn't asked.
At the next appointment they asked where my partner was and why wasn't he supporting me, I told her we are not together and got told off as "that's not how it looked to me"
Sorry was I meant to have shouted at him while there to make it clear were not a couple? 😂

Ger1atricMillennial · 19/10/2023 00:53

TheSpottedZebra · 19/10/2023 00:47

But being married doesn't impact that?

A patient could 'just' be living with a partner, unmarried, and there be violence. Or not.

Edit: ignore my comment, they asked about partner, as well as husband!

Edited

Show quote history

No worries. The way were trained is to say "its important for us to know you are safe at home, is there anyone at home that may threatening you". Women are most likely to be abused/murdered by someone they know or live with, but overwhelmingly by their intimate partner. You should be screened in Womens Health setting and/or ED but as I said it has be when you are on your own in a place and cannot be overheard, which is why it isn't consistent.

Tryingmybestadhd · 19/10/2023 01:17

For the same reason they ask profession or if you own your house on midwife appointments lol 😂
And they do check stuff as every planned c section I had I always get the profession joke from someone , last time was the anaesthetist “ oh be extra careful she is a solicitor “
Honestly , probably to check your social situation

bakedbrain · 19/10/2023 03:22

FractiousPangolin · 18/10/2023 21:47

I'd expect the HCP to explain the purpose of the question when OP asked, though. It doesn't sound as though he did.

I think OP could just have directly (but politely) asked the purpose of the question first though? She only asked if it affects her medical treatment, and the dr would understandably say no and move on quickly to avoid controversy

jenpil · 19/10/2023 03:49

MoreHairyThanScary · 18/10/2023 22:07

Social history is a recognised part of patient history taking, it helps to build a holistic picture of the patient and may open up to other questions relevant to your diagnosis and treatment

That's hogwash really.

I wish they'd just get on with the surgery.....🙄

Mamma2017 · 19/10/2023 05:15

dammit88 · 18/10/2023 21:27

Many of the reasons above - do you have support etc. It helps inform care.

This. It’s the social history assessment-
part of healthcare assessment, what support you’ll have at home or nearby (especially after a procedure/surgery). Trying to look at the whole view of you and your health not just your medical condition.

Mamma2017 · 19/10/2023 05:25

RosesAndHellebores · 18/10/2023 23:10

Reminds me of my booking in appointment nearly 30 years ago. The right on midwife asked if I had a partner. I said "no". She then adopted her "understanding" face and asked about my home, support and whether I knew how hard it would be to be a single parent. She was most offended when I said that wouldn't be an issue because I had a husband. One would have hoped the title Mrs and the wedding ring might have been clues.

Medics need to learn to.provide context for their questions - you know because the patients are largely sentient other humans.

You sound offended she thought you were a single mum
tbh

Mamma2017 · 19/10/2023 05:32

Daffodilwoman · 18/10/2023 23:32

Well the doctor should ask a specific question.
What the hell can they ascertain from this Woolley nonsense,
I was asked ‘Who do you have at home who is able to carry out X procedure?’ Far more concise than asking ‘Are you married?’
The op might be married but her husband/wife might not live with her. They might be away for the next month.
She might answer no. What does that prove? Absolutely nothing.

I agree the “are you married” question is dated now and isn’t specific enough for the reasons it is being asked. Also times have changed. It’s just always been asked in social history/ health assessment and noones ever thought to change it-maybe now’s the time!

MySugarBabyLove · 19/10/2023 06:02

There is a correlation between recovery and support.

I have spent considerable amounts of time in hospital/ICU, and the first time I was taken in, the nurse explained to my dp that medically they can do everything to an extent, but so often the recovery is dependent on what support you have. Someone who e.g. has no support, no partner, no family/friends nearby is going to find recovery more difficult because they’re doing it all on their own. Not just physically, but emotionally.

Asking whether someone is married would imply that they have a husband at home who hopefully would be supportive. When told no a partner could imply lots of things. Not just someone who lives with you, but someone who is in your life and who would hopefully be supportive.

I have a partner, he doesn’t live with me but he is supportive of me when I’m ill.

My dad is my next of kin though as me and DP aren’t married.
And really, far better that consultants ask about you and your circumstances than just treat your condition like an automaton.

garlictwist · 19/10/2023 06:10

pipindressup · 18/10/2023 21:25

Next if kin? Work up to the domestic violence question?
Do you have someone at home to take care of you if needed?
Is it really so hard to answer? Single , civil partner ect is a quick answer surely?

Last time I was I hospital they asked who I wanted to put down as my next of kin. You could put anyone. Doesn't matter if you're married or not.

happylittlesloth · 19/10/2023 06:15

I had a consultation once where they asked my whole entire family set up, who I lived with, what housing we lived in etc it's to rule out any environmental factors.

BalloonSlayer · 19/10/2023 06:22

I used to wonder if they are asked to ask certain questions for research studies, eg someone is collecting data on the percentage of married versus single people who access a particular service. But I don't think the NHS works like that, you need a focus group to add a question. More likely that question has been on there since 1948 when "are you married" was considered to be the same question as "have you ever had sex" and "do you want children," but no one has set up the focus group to take it off or change it yet.

Whenever I took the DCs to an appointment they always wanted chapter and verse about their birth. If I asked if their birth could have something to go with the condition (eg difficult birth and dyslexia) the subject got changed pretty quickly! So why ask?

dandelionandburdock36 · 19/10/2023 06:26

RosesAndHellebores · 18/10/2023 23:18

@VanGoghsDog I gave the correct answer. I didn't have a partner, I had and still have a husband. That's why my title was Mrs. It isn't rocket science.

Not rocket science no, just you being very, very pedantic. The midwife was fine, you were hard work.

StarlightLady · 19/10/2023 06:36

I think it was somewhat clumsy language but nothing sinister. It appears to be a way of asking “do you have someone at home who is over 18 who can support/help you?”

happylittlesloth · 19/10/2023 06:53

RosesAndHellebores · 18/10/2023 23:10

Reminds me of my booking in appointment nearly 30 years ago. The right on midwife asked if I had a partner. I said "no". She then adopted her "understanding" face and asked about my home, support and whether I knew how hard it would be to be a single parent. She was most offended when I said that wouldn't be an issue because I had a husband. One would have hoped the title Mrs and the wedding ring might have been clues.

Medics need to learn to.provide context for their questions - you know because the patients are largely sentient other humans.

Why on earth would you do that? You could have been widowed or seperated but keeping up pretences etc. I'm not surprised she was annoyed.

happylittlesloth · 19/10/2023 06:56

RosesAndHellebores · 18/10/2023 23:18

@VanGoghsDog I gave the correct answer. I didn't have a partner, I had and still have a husband. That's why my title was Mrs. It isn't rocket science.

You could have decided to call yourself Mrs but still be going through a messy divorce. Or he could be dead. Or maybe you just fancied pretending to be married as you were worried about being judged. All sorts. They can't just assume a "standard" marital set up applies just because you're wearing jewellery and calling yourself Mrs.

Deebeedore · 19/10/2023 07:07

I always thought gynaecologists asked this to see what your sexual status is to see what swabs they need to do? I.e is there a likelihood you may be having a few one night stands? If married the vast majority of people will only have that partner so it's less likely to have an STD 🤷🏻‍♀️

YoBeaches · 19/10/2023 07:09

Hijohn · 18/10/2023 22:57

It’s nothing to do with you it’s a social history to build up a picture of your history in general. You sound a bit self obsessed to think the consultant has nothing better to do than ask if you’re married etc

I don't think it's self obsessed. The legalities of a persons relationship bares no relevance to the appointment purpose.

It is outdated OP and the questions could be much more useful as other PPs suggest.

EarringsandLipstick · 19/10/2023 07:13

@RosesAndHellebores

What an obnoxious thing to do. Why would you want to catch the midwife out in that way?

FloofCloud · 19/10/2023 07:24

Sorry not RTFT properly but it's probably standard questions in cases where perhaps in a MDT etc a bunch of doctors discuss cases and it may be relevant to know, for health / support reasons - best to have too much information than not enough

speshal · 19/10/2023 07:33

I'd like to know why more than one consultant has begun their letters to my GP with "I met with this pleasant lady ..." or sometimes it's "lovely lady". Is this how they're taught to begin letters at medical school?

LakeTiticaca · 19/10/2023 07:40

A lot of form filling for different things asks for marital status. No real necessity to get sniffy about it, imo

Why do consultants ask about marriage?

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