Why do consultants ask about marriage?

[2023shady]

Might be a stupid question
Went to see a consultant at the hospital
Usual questions all fine, medical history, do I smoke, smear tests up to date etc etc
Then he asked if I was married. Said no
Next question do I have a partner or am I single

I asked if it affected my medical treatment and he said oh.. no. So I refused to answer
Not in a PITA way but.. do men get asked that?

@bakedbrain @ComtesseDeSpair you clearly have too much time on your hands and have headed down a rabbit hole that you're trying to justify by making assumptions that aren't correct. Suggest you drop it and get back to work, which is what I'll now be doing too.

Fair enough. I think people with informed opinions and background knowledge have simply tried to explain something to you, as you were clearly upset or offended by seemingly not having your job taken seriously. If you’re not interested in the explanation, that’s fine. Enjoy your day.

@speshal you're actually not wrong about me having too much time on my hands, as I referenced in the last sentence of my previous post!

I'm curious @RosesAndHellebores , why did you not just answer "I have a husband"? These types of questions can be a minefield. Some are offended by being asked if married, some by being asked about a partner and so on and so forth. Some people might wear a ring even if not married. You could have been separated. So many options. Why choose to be obtuse? Answering no just wasted time and created ill will, so I'm genuinely wondering why you chose to do that?

What if the question was 'what are your pronouns', would you feel the same? As there are many posts dedicated to just that and ways to not answer the question.

@speshal

God you're rude.

I'm emphatically not 'behind the times'. I'm currently employed in a professional services capacity, by a university, in a reasonably senior role

What you do probably is less senior & may therefore not be covered by the term, but it's still not inaccurate.

Sure, your actual job title is more specific but that is irrelevant in the context of your appointment.

@SirCharlesRainier

Yes, you've put it better than I have!

it is old fashioned and grating. It is not used anywhere at my university or at others where I have worked.

You are completely wrong.

In my case, I prefer this wider term is used. I have a particular speciality too, but as I have progressed, it no longer covers the totality of what I do, which has a wide people management function, not clear from my speciality.

Why you you so fixated on this point and unwilling to accept several posters' experience in the area?

I’m not sure why you feel the need to tell people that they’re talking out of their behinds when they’ve given you a perfectly polite and informed explanation.

Indeed.

And as you can see by this thread someone will always get offended by whatever is asked. sincerely a jaded HCP

I feel the same

I saw this on a podcast the other day! It is actually because you make a quicker recovery if you’re married.

I'd like to know why more than one consultant has begun their letters to my GP with "I met with this pleasant lady

@speshal Like a PP said, I think it's so other doctors know not to worry before they see you.

Do you mean in the context of a medical consultation? Yes I would feel the same. Which is - you are there so this person can help you to the best of their ability and they need as much relevant information as they can get. Asking about your pronouns can be as simple as wanting you to be addressed in whatever way you feel comfortable, or very complex and the start of a big conversation if it is relevant to the consultation. I can't see how deliberately answering in an obstructive way helps anyone.

I haven't read the threads about avoiding answering the pronoun question, but would hope it's in a different context.

Sadly I was wrong and after reading some threads I see people are dodging this question in a medical setting... and my question remains why? To make the point that you don't believe in something? Do you think the doctor/midwife has time to engage in an in-depth discussion around gender ideology/misogyny/whatever objection you have with every patient? They are just trying to do their jobs. Finding some roundabout way to dodge their questions is only going to annoy them. Consultation times are so short, why would you waste that precious time dancing around an issue and confusing things when you could have just answered and gotten it out of the way.

It’s a way of finding out if you’re sexually active and a lead up to d&v questions

Being a medic/ HCP at any level is hard. You’re constantly having to deal with the political correctness of every situation, a nervous individual, often language/ cultural/ religious beliefs come into play, gender, pronouns…. Do I need to go on? That’s before you even get to are you safe to send the patient home……. Then you might just be able to think about doing what you’re actually trained to do!
oh I forgot, the letters……. And for any offence you might inadvertently cause, I apologise. It’s absolutely impossible to know who will take offence to what and why. All I know is, I never deliberately go out to upset anyone. Some questions just need to be asked!!

But why though?

How would documenting that a patient is unmarried, rents, is unemployed (or whatever) make any difference from NOT documenting it, if they're not going to receive any difference in care or support?

Increasingly it seems that these questions are just a sorting hat to see who is 'worthy', middle class, conforms.

Public health as a social science is fascinating. Think of all the things we know about health and health outcomes because over time the right questions were asked: today we think it’s pretty obvious that there would be a correlation between income level and health, and whether you are active or sedentary and health, and diet and health, and breastfeeding versus formula feeding and infant health; and that there should be public health initiatives to address this - but at one point none of that was obvious at all because we just didn’t have the data.

Asking questions about things like relationship status, sexuality, lifestyle and living arrangements has provided data at a population level that reveals that they also have an impact on health: LGB people as a group have poorer outcomes in areas like mental health than heterosexual people; married people recover more quickly than people who cohabit; being a divorced, single man is a risk factor for poor recovery. So it’s useful for HCPs to know this sort of social detail about their patients, because it can explain outcomes and also be a trigger for referral to services which can mitigate the poorer outcomes a patient is statistically more likely to have.

It's a safeguarding question. If you had said yes, they would then ask questions about domestic abuse.

Interesting, thanks!

But do people really get referred on, or different treatment?

And is data being recorded and used on this level, without explicit permissions?

The questioner should indicate to the patient what the general reasons are for such questions.

Surely that is simple enough and removes any puzzlement etc. on the part of the patient.

You just have to read many of the replies here saying things like "it is for social care/post op support etc. reasons. But why should patients have to second guess?

I thought communication was a core principle of medical training.

That's why I was wondering

Answering yes to having a partner doesn't tell anyone anything about whether I live with them, have sex with them, whether they're male/female etc
I could live with my parents or a friend or anyone. No I don't have support at home but I've recovered from a major spinal operation alone with no issues

won't see that consultant again anyway as not going back to the private hospital

Treatment should be tailored and patient-centred, and a good HCP should practice with that in mind. Though with the NHS the way it currently is, I suspect there’s a level of disconnect between what should happen and what actually happens.

Permission wouldn’t generally be required for the NHS to collate anonymised data. It’s part of the role of a government health service - to collect and analyse data for the improvement of its own services and for public health purposes. Your permission would be asked if you specifically were to be used in a case study, or the data wasn’t anonymised. And you’re entitled - as the OP did - to withhold information if you want to or don’t think it’s relevant.

@AgreeWithPP I don't think it's difficult to reply to the pronouns question without endorsing it. I just say 'I'm female.'

Half the time people assume I'm trans because of my face.