Why do consultants ask about marriage?

[2023shady]

Might be a stupid question
Went to see a consultant at the hospital
Usual questions all fine, medical history, do I smoke, smear tests up to date etc etc
Then he asked if I was married. Said no
Next question do I have a partner or am I single

I asked if it affected my medical treatment and he said oh.. no. So I refused to answer
Not in a PITA way but.. do men get asked that?

Re ‘I met with this pleasant lady…’ a family member of mine received a letter regarding their daughter saying, ‘I met this overweight child ….’

The question would probably have led onto those subjects (had you not closed it down), so more of conversational segue or soft opening than anything else.

In other posts you're complaining he didn't ask further personal questions - well you can hardly blame him!

I told one consultant I was a senior business analyst working in professional services at a university and he started his letter to my GP with: "I met with this university administrator ..."

If he hadn't looked like he was still in his twenties I'd have dismissed him as old fashioned, but unfortunately he was just an ex-public schoolboy with narrow experience of the world.

Oh come on! He wasn't going to write the full title & JD you've just given. You do work in university administration - at a high level - nothing wrong with that

(For context, I too work in a professional services role, reasonably senior, in a university, and have a similarly long title - it would be fine to summarise by saying university administrator or professional services role or whatever, even tho not quite accurate).

Huh? But you do work in university administration?! As in, distinct from the academic side.

Or are you thinking of "admin" in the sense of junior clerical work? That's not the only meaning.

Good lord. Healthcare professionals must have to have the patience of saints

I think it's because they can't really describe someone as unpleasant, so they describe anyone who's generally decent, friendly and able to hold a reasonable conversation as pleasant/lovely.

Then the recipient knows that the lack of such description means: watch out, arsehole alert.

No, I don't. I'm a certified IT Professional, working in Professional Services. It isn't called "University Administration" any more because it isn't staffed exclusively by administrators.

No, "IT Professional" would have been fine. It was my first answer, before he pressed me for more detail.

It isn't called "University Administration" any more because it isn't staffed exclusively by administrators.

That's not what 'university administration' means. It doesn't mean it's staffed by administrators in a clerical sense. For example, the senior tier of a university eg Director of Finance, Campus Planning or any of the VP roles will all be considered 'university administration'.

You've misunderstood. Though yes, IT professional would work too, tho I think your role in a university is possibly more relevant.

The only time I was asked (by a GP) if I was in a relationship was in a discussion about anxiety. I'd barely gotten the word 'no' out when the GP cut me off and very condescendingly said 'that's it, it can be lonely, talk to friends'. Bullshit.

You're behind the times, like the consultant was. It may be called administration colloquially by dinosaurs but you'd be hard pressed to find that term used in any job adverts for people with transferable professional skills. I could work in almost any industry (and have worked in several in the past), so I am an IT Professional who currently works for a university, rather than a university anything.

So what? The accountants who work at your university also have transferable skills and could move to any industry, it doesn't change the fact that they currently work in university administration. It's just descriptive, not an insult.

You really have just misunderstood the term (as well as sounding a bit pompous).

I think you're confusing admin / secretarial work with uni administration. Uni administration simply means non-teaching; you are a uni administrator, just as a lawyer working for a uni might be. Contractors (and lest you take offense, this can be prestigious – my parents were Microsoft and Oracle contractors for higher ed at one stage, and so worked in the uni administration side) count too.

Much of uni administration is prestigious. Many senior faculty members (in layman terms, top professors) move into the administration side (vying for dean, head of dept, v chancellor, provost, countless such roles) for the money, the executive power and the visible prestige. Many doctors and consultants are in / familiar with academia so I'm guessing he would have been aware of this.

Think of it a bit like (my parents are IT/PM professionals at c-suite level so I'm somewhat familiar with the terminology I think) sys admin which to my understanding is a powerful role, higher up than business analyst. It doesn't mean someone is serving coffee and taking minutes!

I haven't misunderstood, I just disagree with you. If I told the consultant I was an an accountant, and he asked where, and I said X University, I would be similiarly miffed if he started his letter with "I met this university administrator ...".

That's patronising bakedbrain - I haven't misunderstood. I know the term "university adninistration" has a long history, and I understand the context in which the consultant used the term, but it is old fashioned and grating. It is not used anywhere at my university or at others where I have worked.

Yawn.

Your GP probably doesn’t know (or need to know) the nuance of exactly what you do at your desk all day: the purpose of the letter is to give a broad context of your life, because social and lifestyle factors are correlated with health outcomes. It matters that they distinguish between academic and administrative staff. It’s not a CV, nobody’s going to be making assessments about your employment suitability from it. Expecting your specific job title to be written verbatim is missing the point (and, if the recipient doesn’t know what it means, pointless.) You mention the word context - that’s what all these seemingly “random” questions about jobs and relationships are precisely about, understanding the broad context of a patient’s life and lifestyle because of the correlation with health outcomes.

You're talking out of your behind I'm afraid. I said I was an IT professional - they asked for my job title and employer and used the information to warp my description into "University Administrator" which could mean anything from entry-level HR apprentice to Vice Chancellor. If it is an unrecognisable description to me, why would it be useful context to my GP

... If I'd said Lawer/Accountant he probably wouldn't have changed it. But there is a lot of ignorance of the role of modern professionals.

For all of the, obvious, reasons above.

I recently got asked about whether my next of kin is my husband and do we live together; the next question was whether I'm in receipt of a package of care.

I'm sure it's to do with support at home during treatment.

This is a fairly standard line of questioning. I work in an outpatients department where many of our patients are having treatment that makes them quite unwell or the illness is life limiting. The doctors where I work document the general social history/family set up of all patients regardless of sex.

@speshal idk, I feel the environment is pretty medically relevant. Business analyst for public libraries would probably be less fast-paced than ecommerce biz analyst for instance. Ime HE tends to have pretty regulated hours (which is in no way a reflection of the complexity/prestige/pay btw, especially considering the foreign money HE pulls in). I actually think IT is the most relevant because of lifestyle factors like eye, wrist and back strain, but working environment is also relevant.

From personal experience they do ask what sort of lawyer you are, eg private prac or in house which is less stressful

I’d imagine, having been involved in the development of some of the person-centred working modelling for the NHS, I probably know a little more about the purpose of it all than a senior university IT professional. I’m not sure why you feel the need to tell people that they’re talking out of their behinds when they’ve given you a perfectly polite and informed explanation.