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Original poster

Would you tell the school your child isn’t doing detention in this situation?

338 replies

beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 18:43

my DD is in Y13 and has got an after school detention due to being late to one of her subject classes two times in the same week. She was only a few minutes late on both occasions - no more than 5 minutes.

In normal circumstances, I would agree with the detention as she should not be being late, I know it happens occasionally as we can get held up at times, but there are no excuses for her being late twice in such a short period of time.

However, the reason I am annoyed at her getting this detention is because the teacher of the subject class she was late to, and is getting the detention as a result of it, is late to class quite often.

For example, DD tells me that the teacher is usually 5-10 minutes late every Monday afternoon when they have that class after lunch. So clearly the teacher has problems getting from the staff room to the classroom in time for the start of the lesson?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for my dd to be spoken to and warned about being late, but I find it absolutely pathetic that this teacher has recommend her head of year give her a detention when the teacher in question is guilty of the same thing - is it not a bit hypocritical?

Not sure why they think this teacher’s lunch break is more important than her a level class but if the student is late then it’s the end of the world.

I’m not sure on how to proceed with this one, but I genuinely feel like ringing the school and telling them to withdraw the detention unless they’re going to discipline the teacher for being late!

OP posts:
LadybirdLover · 10/10/2023 18:46

Two wrongs don’t make a right. The teacher’s punctuality has absolutely nothing to do with your daughter’s. They’re two separate issues.

ShanghaiDiva · 10/10/2023 18:48

Agree with pp - two separate issues. Ringing the school will, to be blunt, make you look like a pillock.

Original poster
beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 18:49

LadybirdLover · 10/10/2023 18:46

Two wrongs don’t make a right. The teacher’s punctuality has absolutely nothing to do with your daughter’s. They’re two separate issues.

I disagree. My daughter is there to learn, not wait around for a teacher who can’t be bothered to return from her lunch break on time. The teacher’s time is no more important than the student’s time.

Also, should the teacher not be setting an example?

OP posts:

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MartyMcFlysPurpleUnderwear · 10/10/2023 18:49

Schools give out detention to year 13 students? Weird.

Pratchettfangirl · 10/10/2023 18:49

Does the teacher do a break/ lunch duty on that day? It can be impossible to supervise students leaving your duty area and get to your next lesson on time.

Original poster
beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 18:50

Pratchettfangirl · 10/10/2023 18:49

Does the teacher do a break/ lunch duty on that day? It can be impossible to supervise students leaving your duty area and get to your next lesson on time.

No idea - still not an excuse to be near enough 10 minutes late every single week

OP posts:
Original poster
beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 18:51

ShanghaiDiva · 10/10/2023 18:48

Agree with pp - two separate issues. Ringing the school will, to be blunt, make you look like a pillock.

Can you please explain to me by what you mean when you say they are two separate issues?

how? It’s not ok for a student to be late - so why is it ok for a teacher to be late on multiple occasions?

OP posts:
trampoline123 · 10/10/2023 18:51

Why does everyone believe what their kids tell them...

AnSolas · 10/10/2023 18:52

beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 18:49

I disagree. My daughter is there to learn, not wait around for a teacher who can’t be bothered to return from her lunch break on time. The teacher’s time is no more important than the student’s time.

Also, should the teacher not be setting an example?

Show quote history

Then allow your child to do the punishment for her crime.
And then use that as an example of how you expect the school to manage the teacher being late

Lizzt2007 · 10/10/2023 18:52

You're assuming the teacher has been on her break in the lounge. It's just as likely she's been on lunch duty and has had little time to eat her own lunch. If your daughter has been late to those classes then the teacher wouldn't know, so obviously teacher isn't late to the classes that aren't straight after lunch.

Stardustkid · 10/10/2023 18:52

But that’s nothing to do with why your child is late. Maybe someone is addressing her lateness. It’s do as I say not as I do

jumpfh · 10/10/2023 18:54

Two wrongs don't make a right.

griegwithhimandhim · 10/10/2023 18:56

LadybirdLover · 10/10/2023 18:46

Two wrongs don’t make a right. The teacher’s punctuality has absolutely nothing to do with your daughter’s. They’re two separate issues.

"Do as I say and not as I do" then, is it?

If it were my dc I wouldn't care why the teacher was regularly late to class. They are late and setting a bad example. End of. Totally hypocritical of them to hand out detention to a student who is not normally late.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 10/10/2023 18:58

It is bad that the teacher is regularly late - you could bring this up with the school. However, if the school policy is that students get a detention for being late to lessons twice in a week, then that's the school policy and you don't have a leg to stand on. I doubt the policy says 'unless the teacher has also been known to be late'.

Also, you have no idea whether the reason for the teacher's lateness is that she 'couldn't be bothered to return from her lunch break in time'. I am virtually never late to lessons. However, I have been late twice in the last two weeks, both times in the lesson following lunch. Once dealing with a very distressed child, the second time fetching a mop and clearing up a spilled full bottle of drink across the full, busy corridor to prevent students slipping. I doubt I have a single colleague who doesn't work through at least half of the lunch hour.

ShanghaiDiva · 10/10/2023 18:58

beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 18:51

Can you please explain to me by what you mean when you say they are two separate issues?

how? It’s not ok for a student to be late - so why is it ok for a teacher to be late on multiple occasions?

Show quote history

You dd was late to lessons and the rule is that she is placed in detention. This is one issue and you acknowledge she was late therefore the sanction is appropriate.
The teacher is regularly late to class. You are not happy about this and can raise this with school and ask for the issue to be addressed, but it is separate from you dd’s detention. Combining the two issues and asking for the detention to not be imposed because the teacher is late will make you, imo, make you look like a pillock.

Original poster
beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 18:59

Stardustkid · 10/10/2023 18:52

But that’s nothing to do with why your child is late. Maybe someone is addressing her lateness. It’s do as I say not as I do

And yet she is still late every week so they’re not doing a very good job of addressing it!

I expect the school to actually encourage their teachers to show up to lessons on time - it’s not ok for my daughter to be late but it’s also not ok for the teacher to be late when that’s 10 minutes of teaching time lost every single week - in an a level class!

OP posts:
Disorganisedmess2023 · 10/10/2023 18:59

You are being completely unreasonable. That teacher might not physically be able to get to the class on time. They might have a lunch duty, lunchtime detention group, pastoral work etc to do over lunchtime. Your daughter is important but so are hundreds of other students.
The two situations are not related to each other.

Bovrilla · 10/10/2023 18:59

If the teacher has lunch duty on the far side of the field/playground they may well not get back until a few minutes in.

We had to herd the kids in and be last off the field/yard area and then return the high vis and radio to the staff workroom.

Teachers aren't yet capable of teleporting, so if teacher has had duty then that'll be the reason they're late.

What's your daughter's reason? If it's a valid one then challenge it eg. Library duty, a lot of 6tg formers do prefect roles. If she's just late then she probably needs to suck it up.

orchardsquare · 10/10/2023 18:59

I've never heard of detention in sixth form - that is ridiculous! I don't know if you could tell them she isn't doing it or not, but you don't really want to be falling out with school at this point.
I'd leave it to your daughter to sort out as she sees fit, as she will soon be an adult. So she could choose to not got to the detention if she feels strongly about it, but realise there may be consequences. Not sure what? Surely they won't throw her out. I know in some of the stricter academies if you don't go to detentions you have to sit in seclusion the next day. Maybe she could have a word with her form tutor or head of sixth form.

catbla2957 · 10/10/2023 19:00

But do you know for a fact the teacher is ten minutes late every week. Teenagers have been known to make stuff up and embellish a tale

SpringboksSocks · 10/10/2023 19:00

I don’t think you should complain about the detention (that’s the school’s rules), but no reason why you couldn’t feed back separately to senior leadership that the teacher is always late.

I work with teenagers and the one thing they complain about more than anything is hypocrisy, and I hear you. I got a phone call home about my DD13 being rude (she was.. and it wasn’t acceptable) by pointing out to a teacher telling her off about her hoop earrings that the teacher was wearing hoop earrings herself.

Teachers wearing short skirts is the one that kids really can’t get their heads around when they’re getting isolations for their own skirts not being knee length.

Original poster
beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 19:01

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 10/10/2023 18:58

It is bad that the teacher is regularly late - you could bring this up with the school. However, if the school policy is that students get a detention for being late to lessons twice in a week, then that's the school policy and you don't have a leg to stand on. I doubt the policy says 'unless the teacher has also been known to be late'.

Also, you have no idea whether the reason for the teacher's lateness is that she 'couldn't be bothered to return from her lunch break in time'. I am virtually never late to lessons. However, I have been late twice in the last two weeks, both times in the lesson following lunch. Once dealing with a very distressed child, the second time fetching a mop and clearing up a spilled full bottle of drink across the full, busy corridor to prevent students slipping. I doubt I have a single colleague who doesn't work through at least half of the lunch hour.

i get that things can happen which may make this teacher late on occasion, but seriously, I doubt she has a distressed child to tend to every single Monday afternoon at lunch time.

if it is the case that she is on lunch duty, then maybe alternative arrangements need to be made. It shouldn’t be getting in the way of her teaching time - esp not when it’s an a level class!

OP posts:
MyMitMoo · 10/10/2023 19:01

O dear, you're that kind of parent...

Your attitude isn't going to do your DC any favours in life

Dacadactyl · 10/10/2023 19:02

Going off your messages on here, I dont believe that you'd normally back the school.

I think DD should do the detention and then, if you believe what she's telling you, bring the separate issue of teacher lateness up with the college.

LocalHobo · 10/10/2023 19:02

The teacher’s time is no more important than the student’s time.
Thats where I disagree with you.

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