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Original poster

Would you tell the school your child isn’t doing detention in this situation?

338 replies

beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 18:43

my DD is in Y13 and has got an after school detention due to being late to one of her subject classes two times in the same week. She was only a few minutes late on both occasions - no more than 5 minutes.

In normal circumstances, I would agree with the detention as she should not be being late, I know it happens occasionally as we can get held up at times, but there are no excuses for her being late twice in such a short period of time.

However, the reason I am annoyed at her getting this detention is because the teacher of the subject class she was late to, and is getting the detention as a result of it, is late to class quite often.

For example, DD tells me that the teacher is usually 5-10 minutes late every Monday afternoon when they have that class after lunch. So clearly the teacher has problems getting from the staff room to the classroom in time for the start of the lesson?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for my dd to be spoken to and warned about being late, but I find it absolutely pathetic that this teacher has recommend her head of year give her a detention when the teacher in question is guilty of the same thing - is it not a bit hypocritical?

Not sure why they think this teacher’s lunch break is more important than her a level class but if the student is late then it’s the end of the world.

I’m not sure on how to proceed with this one, but I genuinely feel like ringing the school and telling them to withdraw the detention unless they’re going to discipline the teacher for being late!

OP posts:
nailsathome · 10/10/2023 19:13

If it's every Monday after lunch then I would suggest it is because of a duty, as pp have pointed out, which she would have on the same day each week. What would you like the teacher to do in this situation? She has to deal with any issues that occurred in her duty time and cannot be in 2 places at once.

Original poster
beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 19:14

ShanghaiDiva · 10/10/2023 19:11

But it’s still a separate issue from the detention.

Show quote history

It is, I acknowledge that. But surely you can see the hypocrisy of this teacher asking dd be put on detention and see the need for this teacher’s lateness to be brought up with the teacher?

OP posts:
FrippEnos · 10/10/2023 19:14

How can the teacher be late if she is there to give your DD the detention?

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donquixotedelamancha · 10/10/2023 19:15

Quite apart from how bonkers the OP's sense of entitlement is - can you imagine being a 17YO and having your mummy ring up your 6th form to say they aren't allowed to give you a detention? I'd be mortified.

QueenOfTheLabyrinth · 10/10/2023 19:16

beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 19:06

I never said my child was exempt from the rules?

Im sorry, but the teacher being regularly late is unacceptable. I’m complaining about the hypocrisy.

So you think the teacher’s lateness is ok and that we should just suck it up?

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What hypocrisy?

The teacher is late once a week & nothing is done about it.

Your daughter was late once in a* *week & nothing was done about it.

Only when your daughter was late twice in the same week, did she get detention.

It seems there’s discretion applied on both sides where being late once is overlooked.

Seems the teacher is punctual to all other lessons if she’s caught your daughter being late on 2 different occasions.

Original poster
beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 19:16

nailsathome · 10/10/2023 19:13

If it's every Monday after lunch then I would suggest it is because of a duty, as pp have pointed out, which she would have on the same day each week. What would you like the teacher to do in this situation? She has to deal with any issues that occurred in her duty time and cannot be in 2 places at once.

i have asked dd and she has confirmed that the teacher in question doesn’t do lunch duty on Tuesday’s so that excuse is now in the bin!

and before you ask how she know this, as dd is a prefect, they have a timetable of the staff who do lunch duties as prefects are sometimes asked to help supervise the key stage 3 lunches - this teacher only supervises on a Thursday.

OP posts:
ShanghaiDiva · 10/10/2023 19:18

beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 19:14

It is, I acknowledge that. But surely you can see the hypocrisy of this teacher asking dd be put on detention and see the need for this teacher’s lateness to be brought up with the teacher?

Show quote history

I think a teacher has more demands on their time and lateness can be caused by lunch duty /behaviour issue / upset child etc. and other issues behind their control.
what exactly do you want to achieve by calling out this alleged ‘hypocrisy’?

Original poster
beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 19:18

QueenOfTheLabyrinth · 10/10/2023 19:16

What hypocrisy?

The teacher is late once a week & nothing is done about it.

Your daughter was late once in a* *week & nothing was done about it.

Only when your daughter was late twice in the same week, did she get detention.

It seems there’s discretion applied on both sides where being late once is overlooked.

Seems the teacher is punctual to all other lessons if she’s caught your daughter being late on 2 different occasions.

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Once a week is not acceptable! Why defend that?

My daughter was late twice, like I say not something that happens very often, so if you’re going to compare her against the teacher, please don’t shame my dd because her record of lateness is much less than the teacher’s.

OP posts:
AllProperTeaIsTheft · 10/10/2023 19:19

if it is the case that she is on lunch duty, then maybe alternative arrangements need to be made. It shouldn’t be getting in the way of her teaching time - esp not when it’s an a level class!

What kind of arrangements should be made? Teachers don't get to just opt out of duties. Also, an A Level class is the least problematic to be late for. They are old enough and should be sensible enough to keep themselves occupied looking over their work or preparing for the lesson for 5 minutes. Younger students need to be under constant supervision.

nailsathome · 10/10/2023 19:19

I'm afraid your 6th form daughter won't be privy to all of the roles her teachers have to perform. You are determined to make an issue of this so by all means go ahead. You have no idea what impact that might have on that teacher or on other students lives but I'm sure that is of little consequence to you.

WeWereInParis · 10/10/2023 19:20

i have asked dd and she has confirmed that the teacher in question doesn’t do lunch duty on Tuesday’s so that excuse is now in the bin!

Well maybe she does it on Mondays, when you said the class was.

fionaapple · 10/10/2023 19:20

You're assuming that the teacher is late to the class because she simply can't be bothered to make it on time from her lunch break when she could be dealing with reporting safeguarding issues or pulled for a chat with a member of SLT. Also your daughter is obviously going to say that her teacher is always late now that she's being pulled up for being late herself.

NaturalStudy · 10/10/2023 19:21

You are being ridiculous and as PP said you are doing your daughter no favours. She wont thank you when she has a tantrum at work due to 'hypocrisy' and is quickly shown the door.

HappyHamsters · 10/10/2023 19:21

Why was your daughter late twice in one week. If she is a prefect she should also be setting an example.

ShanghaiDiva · 10/10/2023 19:21

HappyHamsters · 10/10/2023 19:21

Why was your daughter late twice in one week. If she is a prefect she should also be setting an example.

Indeed!

fuckssaaaaake · 10/10/2023 19:22

For Christ's sake pls don't pass this attitude onto your daughter

Redhothoochycoocher · 10/10/2023 19:23

How ridiculous. Staff are not governed by the same rules as students. In what world is that becoming a thing. Teacher may have a lunch duty and they're mopping up behaviour for 5/10 mins after every lunch break. It's highly unlikely that they've spent 50 mins slowly eating their lunch. If you are seriously concerned about their tardiness you'd have raised it with the school before your daughter got a detention.

Oh and by the way, should teachers also have to wear school uniform? Should they walk in single file too? 🤯

tiredofthisshitt · 10/10/2023 19:23

Teachers are not answerable to the kids, despite what some entitled parents think. I'm sometimes a bit late to my A Level lessons. The reason?

  • a crying child
  • a fight (I got punched in the last one)
Speaking to someone about poor behaviour
  • covering a duty for an absent colleague

Does your daughter do these?

I rarely have time to eat my lunch in that half hour. I can usually manage a quick loo stop thankfully.

I can assure you it's not because I'm sat drinking my cuppa and not being bothered.

Teachers also don't have to wear uniform, hand in homework, call adults Mr or Miss or Ms. That's because they're not pupils. The rules are, whether you like it or not, different.

Your post comes across as entitled.

Original poster
beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 19:23

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 10/10/2023 19:19

if it is the case that she is on lunch duty, then maybe alternative arrangements need to be made. It shouldn’t be getting in the way of her teaching time - esp not when it’s an a level class!

What kind of arrangements should be made? Teachers don't get to just opt out of duties. Also, an A Level class is the least problematic to be late for. They are old enough and should be sensible enough to keep themselves occupied looking over their work or preparing for the lesson for 5 minutes. Younger students need to be under constant supervision.

Ok so, yesterday, this teacher showed up late and they were starting a new topic.

They didn’t get much of the work done, because yet again, the teacher was late. 15 minutes late, and then had to go through a massive PowerPoint which basically took up the whole 35 minutes they were there for. They didn’t get onto the other tasks that were meant to be done during that lesson.

DD has the initiative to go into the room and sit down and get on with work whilst she waits, but it’s really not good enough.

OP posts:
AllProperTeaIsTheft · 10/10/2023 19:23

i have asked dd and she has confirmed that the teacher in question doesn’t do lunch duty on Tuesday’s so that excuse is now in the bin!

How inclusive of the school to share the schedule of all teachers' daily responsibilities with the 6th formers.

donquixotedelamancha · 10/10/2023 19:23

I was late to one of my lessons today- a student assaulted another student in front of me on the corridor. I gave about 4 late detentions today. Perhaps it's me the OP is complaining about?

I say go for it OP- I shall keep my fingers crossed that it's me who is on the receiving end.

Since moving schools I haven't really enountered any That Parents yet- I need some good anecdotes for the Christmas party.

Pixie2015 · 10/10/2023 19:24

I don’t think y12 and y13 should get detention full stop - you late or don’t do homework your loss

Bluebellsbells · 10/10/2023 19:24

You have no idea why she is late, and I tell you from experience usually teachers don't get a lunch break at all. Duties, clubs, work (there is never enough minutes in a day). It might simply be a case she is at one side of the school and has to get to another. Don't assume she is late because of a break.

So the teachers lateness has nothing to do with your daughter being late. They are two separate issues- one where you have all the knowledge and two where you don't. Your child should do the detention and not be late and the teacher if you are worried phone the school speak to the head of department- if it's a none explainable issue they will speak to her about it.

HamstersAreMyLife · 10/10/2023 19:24

At A levels we were expected to turn up on time and start work undirected. There's a lot more self led work or there used to be so we were not ever sat around waiting for a teacher and as others have said if a teacher was off we still had to go to class and do self directed learning. This was a college rather than 6th form though so no detentions but if we were repeatedly late we could be removed from the course. I think if you feel strongly your daughter is missing key learning you can raise that lateness with the school.

I don't think it has any overlap with your daughters detention though. I wouldn't mention it when you speak to school, I can't see how the lateness of the teacher is at all relevant to her breach of the school rules.

ShanghaiDiva · 10/10/2023 19:25

beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 19:23

Ok so, yesterday, this teacher showed up late and they were starting a new topic.

They didn’t get much of the work done, because yet again, the teacher was late. 15 minutes late, and then had to go through a massive PowerPoint which basically took up the whole 35 minutes they were there for. They didn’t get onto the other tasks that were meant to be done during that lesson.

DD has the initiative to go into the room and sit down and get on with work whilst she waits, but it’s really not good enough.

Show quote history

You seem remarkably well informed as to what the teacher had planned for the lesson and exactly how much time it would take.