Would you tell the school your child isn’t doing detention in this situation?

[beeonmybonnett]

my DD is in Y13 and has got an after school detention due to being late to one of her subject classes two times in the same week. She was only a few minutes late on both occasions - no more than 5 minutes.

In normal circumstances, I would agree with the detention as she should not be being late, I know it happens occasionally as we can get held up at times, but there are no excuses for her being late twice in such a short period of time.

However, the reason I am annoyed at her getting this detention is because the teacher of the subject class she was late to, and is getting the detention as a result of it, is late to class quite often.

For example, DD tells me that the teacher is usually 5-10 minutes late every Monday afternoon when they have that class after lunch. So clearly the teacher has problems getting from the staff room to the classroom in time for the start of the lesson?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for my dd to be spoken to and warned about being late, but I find it absolutely pathetic that this teacher has recommend her head of year give her a detention when the teacher in question is guilty of the same thing - is it not a bit hypocritical?

Not sure why they think this teacher’s lunch break is more important than her a level class but if the student is late then it’s the end of the world.

I’m not sure on how to proceed with this one, but I genuinely feel like ringing the school and telling them to withdraw the detention unless they’re going to discipline the teacher for being late!

I’d not find it even remotely strange that she would be dealing with incidents every Monday lunch time.
Have you met kids???
Make that EVERY lunchtime.

One thing I've learned now I have adult Dc is that kids will only tell the side of the story that makes them look hard done by when it comes to school.

If I had a pound for every time the teachers "picked" on my youngest I'd be sitting in the Maldives sipping a cocktail right now.

I think as a parent it's hard for us to accept that the version of your child the school gets is not necessarily the same one that you get at home. You honestly won't do her any favours in life by phoning the school and saying she's not doing detention, you don't know the reason why the teacher was late and it's irrelevant.

I teach, though at a uni rather than school. My timetabling is such that I cannot physically get across campus to my next class without being late. Think Ross from Friends with his rollerblades. I am not being lazy and it is the same every single class. Because I simply cannot cover that distance in the time I have. Tell your daughter to learn some manners and don't be that embarrassing parent who phones the school about this.

dd was late last week. She has this teacher on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays.

If the knows your daughter was late then your daughter must have arrived after the 15 minutes the teacher was late?

Sometimes I'm a bit late to 6th form lessons because we have different lunch times depending on who we teach. So I might not have had the same lunch as the 6th form, but be rushing straight from a KS3 lesson in another classroom.

But it doesn't really matter what anyone has said here. You have already decided your perfect prefect won't be doing the detention.

No idea - still not an excuse to be near enough 10 minutes late every single week

But by year 13 the students should be mature enough to come in and settled down sensibly and quietly, get their resources and books ready and waiting to start when they get back.

If staff have a duty at lunch that finishes at the same time as the lesson starting, it will always be a case if them being a few minutes late - they haven't developed the ability to teleport from one side of a school to the other, in no time, as yet.

If staff have to deal with a pressing incident that happens right at the end of lunch break then it may be they have to deal with that as it could well be of greater priority/safeguarding to being in the year 13 class immediately.

There are genuine reasons why the teacher may be late.

Whilst there may be genuine reasons for a student to be late to the lesson, I am assuming - as you haven't said so in your op - that your child was not in that position.

I definitely couldn't be a teacher. I'm not surprised they can't recruit and retain teachers, I am surprised we have any left.

Agreed, posts like this make me want to leave teaching

Why was your daughter late?

Reasons why a teacher might be late on the same day each week:
-timetabling- she is rushing from a nightmare Y7 class one side of the school to a Y13 class on the other and has spent her very limited break time cleaning glue off the ceiling and writing up safeguarding reports
-she runs interventions at break
-she runs a club at break
-she has a regular meeting at break
-she’s stuck at the photocopier
-she knows her good for nothing entitled Y13s will be late anyway so finishes her cup of coffee in peace
-she expects a group of 17 year olds to be able
to sit quietly and get on with their work without adult supervision for 10 minutes

OP please do put in your complaint and then copy the response here, we’d love to see it.

A good option to the lateness of the teacher, if it is for genuine timetabling or safeguarding issues, would be for the class to be set a regular task that happens at the very start of a lesson. So, a review and recap 5-10 minutes where they read through the previous lessons work and discuss key points with their neighbour, for example, ,at work.

A year 13 class should be able to deal with a few minutes without a teacher if necessary.

As a retired teacher I think you should write, on your daughter’s behalf, that she will not serve the detention. That way you can rebuff the school’s rules, demonstrate that you are treating your daughter like a young child, irritate the staff, fail to support them and display your naivety in believing your daughter never stretches the truth. You won’t be the first to make a show of herself.
I’ll leave you with those thoughts.

So you are still going to have a word 🙄 would you do this in Uni? Does she work, would you do this with her employer? No wonder kids have no resilience.

Hahaha yep, it's one reason I am a soon to be ex teacher.

God forbid parents support the school in what they're trying to do

By year 13 they should be pretty bloody independent. Not late and whining about a perfectly legitimate detention to their parents. I've only ever given late detention to 6th form for persistent lateness, usually accompanied with eye rolling and some BS excuse every time.

Maybe you might want to talk to your daughter.

I agree with you entirely OP. However you only have your dd's word for it. I'd email the school accepting the detention and saying you'll ensure dd attends as but also pointing out that you're somewhat perturbed by the example being set by the teacher around punctuality.

When I was a teacher we used to do a welcome evening fir new parents. During that evening the headteacher would say to the parents " We will do a deal with you as parents. If you do not believe every single awful thing your children tell you about school then we will not believe every single awful thing they tell us about home". It worked beautifully.

Please dont be THAT parent. You are definitely being defensive and will come across as a bit of a twat if you start spouting this nonsense

So your child has done something wrong, then tried to deflect the blame onto something else.
Kids exaggerate a lot. Parents fall for it.
I was a teacher for many years, sixth form included, I’ve seen it all.
I don’t doubt the teacher has been late once or twice, but your daughter was late twice and the rule is that she has a detention for this. She needs to suck it up.
Maybe you could raise the teachers lateness at parents evening if it bothers you that much? But honestly, sixth formers are generally expected to have a degree of independence, perhaps do some reading or work around the subject while they are waiting.

It might come as a shock to you, but teachers and students do not have the same privileges. Allowances are made for staff, who may be dealing with other issues that you know nothing about- a safeguarding problem with another child for example.
We had parents like you and you were the talk of the staff room. Your perfect child wrapped around your finger and everything being someone else’s fault. Don’t be one of those people. Tell her to take her punishment. If you still feel annoyed about the teachers lateness, raise that separately.

Your daughter is nearly an adult and you are way too involved in this very minor incident.
Are you planning to tackle the university next year every time she gets a B for an essay?

they don’t have to follow the same rules, but I’m sure attending their work on time is a rule that they do have to follow.

Oh, if only a teacher's work was only showing up to class and teaching that class for the set length of time. Rather than the dozens of other jobs they are also asked to do, often in their own time, such as lunch time.

Jesus wept.

I have words...but I'd probably better not use them.

OP - please. If you live in the real world and not under a bridge, you really need to step back from this.

Sorry to disappoint you, but my daughter isn’t a liar so I have no reason to believe she would make this up.

She may not be.
However, the times have already changed from 5 minutes to 20 minutes, and now to 15 minutes.
So the accuracy of some aspects may not be quite right here.

Enjoy your retirement. I am enjoying mine. You will never have slept so well and that weird ' teatime of the soul' feeling on a Sunday evening will disappear. Its such an utter relief

I’m really shocked that in sixth form detentions are still a thing. Sententious is sixth form was not a thing at my school.

Just remembering my 6th form at school was 10 minutes walk from the main site. The teachers were always late and arrived dripping in sweat from having had to practically run up a hill to get there. The difference was that unlike your DD, we were mature enough to understand and didn't run home whinging to mummy that our learning time was being disrupted. We knew to get on with some quiet work until the teacher arrived.