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Original poster

Would you tell the school your child isn’t doing detention in this situation?

338 replies

beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 18:43

my DD is in Y13 and has got an after school detention due to being late to one of her subject classes two times in the same week. She was only a few minutes late on both occasions - no more than 5 minutes.

In normal circumstances, I would agree with the detention as she should not be being late, I know it happens occasionally as we can get held up at times, but there are no excuses for her being late twice in such a short period of time.

However, the reason I am annoyed at her getting this detention is because the teacher of the subject class she was late to, and is getting the detention as a result of it, is late to class quite often.

For example, DD tells me that the teacher is usually 5-10 minutes late every Monday afternoon when they have that class after lunch. So clearly the teacher has problems getting from the staff room to the classroom in time for the start of the lesson?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for my dd to be spoken to and warned about being late, but I find it absolutely pathetic that this teacher has recommend her head of year give her a detention when the teacher in question is guilty of the same thing - is it not a bit hypocritical?

Not sure why they think this teacher’s lunch break is more important than her a level class but if the student is late then it’s the end of the world.

I’m not sure on how to proceed with this one, but I genuinely feel like ringing the school and telling them to withdraw the detention unless they’re going to discipline the teacher for being late!

OP posts:
ShanghaiDiva · 10/10/2023 19:03

beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 19:01

i get that things can happen which may make this teacher late on occasion, but seriously, I doubt she has a distressed child to tend to every single Monday afternoon at lunch time.

if it is the case that she is on lunch duty, then maybe alternative arrangements need to be made. It shouldn’t be getting in the way of her teaching time - esp not when it’s an a level class!

Show quote history

If you are not happy about time being lost in an A level class then raise it with SLT.

Smartiepants79 · 10/10/2023 19:04

‘But she does it too’ is the whining answer of a teenager who has been caught out doing something they shouldn’t.
Your DD was late and school policy is that she does a detention. I don’t think having her mummy phone up and complain is really a positive way to handle this particular scenario.
If you have concerns about the quality or consistency of the teaching your child is receiving then contact school. It’s a separate issue.
This also assuming that what you are being told is completely factually correct and not a teenage exaggeration.
Lastly, I can think of multiple good reasons why a teacher may get waylaid and end up a few minutes late.

Disorganisedmess2023 · 10/10/2023 19:04

beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 19:01

i get that things can happen which may make this teacher late on occasion, but seriously, I doubt she has a distressed child to tend to every single Monday afternoon at lunch time.

if it is the case that she is on lunch duty, then maybe alternative arrangements need to be made. It shouldn’t be getting in the way of her teaching time - esp not when it’s an a level class!

Show quote history

So it's fine for other children to be impacted by a lunch duty but not your child?

Do you think the school can magic up extra staff to do duties or maybe hundreds of children should just be unsupervised outside so your child doesn't miss a few minutes each of learning each week, oh wait she'd miss it anyway as she's late too. Doh!

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Beezknees · 10/10/2023 19:04

Your DD should do her detention. If the teacher is late, it's the school's job to discipline her. Don't be that parent that everyone thinks is a twat.

Bovrilla · 10/10/2023 19:04

Hahahaha that'll go down well with SLT: I'm sorry I can't do lunch duty, I have a whingy parent who thinks their kid is exempt from the rules.

Nope. It won't fly.

I've already explained what happens after playground duty. There's a good reason why that teacher is late if they're on duty. Granted they could leave the projector on with a starter tasks ready for the class to do whilst they get back to their room

Maybe your kid should get to class on time and start re-reading her notes in preparation for her A levels.

Barleysugar86 · 10/10/2023 19:04

Don't be this parent.

Your child was late and rightly got the detention. You need to support your school on this.

If you are upset about the teacher being late that is a separate issue at a separate time and nothing to do with this.

PedrosHag · 10/10/2023 19:05

Ugh, don't be that parent.

BlueKaftan · 10/10/2023 19:06

The teachers time most certainly is more important than your daughters time. The teacher is a trained and qualified adult, and getting held up is a legitimate possibility as she navigates her day.

Russooooo · 10/10/2023 19:06

They’re two totally different issues.

  1. your daughter was late. The school rule is that she does the detention. Ergo, she needs to do the detention.
  2. you believe the teacher is frequently late. This needs to be raised appropriately: head of year? Head of department?

Linking the two just makes you sound petulant.

Original poster
beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 19:06

Bovrilla · 10/10/2023 19:04

Hahahaha that'll go down well with SLT: I'm sorry I can't do lunch duty, I have a whingy parent who thinks their kid is exempt from the rules.

Nope. It won't fly.

I've already explained what happens after playground duty. There's a good reason why that teacher is late if they're on duty. Granted they could leave the projector on with a starter tasks ready for the class to do whilst they get back to their room

Maybe your kid should get to class on time and start re-reading her notes in preparation for her A levels.

I never said my child was exempt from the rules?

Im sorry, but the teacher being regularly late is unacceptable. I’m complaining about the hypocrisy.

So you think the teacher’s lateness is ok and that we should just suck it up?

OP posts:
Peaceandkindness · 10/10/2023 19:07

LadybirdLover · 10/10/2023 18:46

Two wrongs don’t make a right. The teacher’s punctuality has absolutely nothing to do with your daughter’s. They’re two separate issues.

the teacher might have a duty that end at the end of lunch and can’t teleport

MermaidEyes · 10/10/2023 19:07

You do realise that by year 13 if the teacher is late (or doesn't turn up at all, my dd often had no teacher for a class) the students are capable of working independently for a while. The whole lesson is not spent listening to the teacher. Quite often they'll just be carrying on work from the previous lesson. So 10 minutes without the teacher once a week really isn't a huge deal.

donquixotedelamancha · 10/10/2023 19:07

Beezknees · 10/10/2023 19:04

Your DD should do her detention. If the teacher is late, it's the school's job to discipline her. Don't be that parent that everyone thinks is a twat.

I suspect that ship has probably sailed long ago.

Original poster
beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 19:07

BlueKaftan · 10/10/2023 19:06

The teachers time most certainly is more important than your daughters time. The teacher is a trained and qualified adult, and getting held up is a legitimate possibility as she navigates her day.

I disagree. The teacher is a trained and qualified adult who is paid to educate her students, therefore she should arrive at class on time.

That’s eating into the student’s lesson time - is that really ok? I don’t think so

OP posts:
Potofteaplease · 10/10/2023 19:09

I agree. I would have thought they’d treat them like adults. Really bizarre. Fine to have a chat about being there at the start of the lesson/importance of A levels etc, but not to treat them as though they are irresponsible year 7s

ShanghaiDiva · 10/10/2023 19:09

donquixotedelamancha · 10/10/2023 19:07

I suspect that ship has probably sailed long ago.

Show quote history

no doubt!

Hibernatalie · 10/10/2023 19:09

The teacher is probably late because of being on lunch duty. It would also be policy to have a late DT if late to lesson, so it's not like she's being picked on. I really wouldn't be quibbling about a detention for a 17 year old tbh.

Original poster
beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 19:10

MermaidEyes · 10/10/2023 19:07

You do realise that by year 13 if the teacher is late (or doesn't turn up at all, my dd often had no teacher for a class) the students are capable of working independently for a while. The whole lesson is not spent listening to the teacher. Quite often they'll just be carrying on work from the previous lesson. So 10 minutes without the teacher once a week really isn't a huge deal.

10 minutes once a week adds up to 40 minutes a month - each period is 50 minutes long so that’s basically near enough one period missed every month due to this teacher’s lateness.

my dd shouldn’t have been late but she is very rarely late anyway. I think this teacher’s lateness vastly outnumbers the frequency of my daughter’s lateness.

OP posts:
DNAnucleotide · 10/10/2023 19:11

Nice one OP, call in and let them know your nearly adult daughter won’t do the detention. Don’t forget to remind her that she’s allowed to speed too if she sees someone doing it first xx

WeWereInParis · 10/10/2023 19:11

There are situations where I wouldn't back the school on discipline, but this isn't one of them.

As PPs have said, I'd treat these situations differently. Your DD does the detention because she was late. If the teacher is consistently late to the point that it's causing an issue, raise that with the school.

Hibernatalie · 10/10/2023 19:11

She isn't 10 minutes late once a week though is she. Realistically she's probably a couple of minutes now and then. Kids exaggerate.

ShanghaiDiva · 10/10/2023 19:11

beeonmybonnett · 10/10/2023 19:10

10 minutes once a week adds up to 40 minutes a month - each period is 50 minutes long so that’s basically near enough one period missed every month due to this teacher’s lateness.

my dd shouldn’t have been late but she is very rarely late anyway. I think this teacher’s lateness vastly outnumbers the frequency of my daughter’s lateness.

Show quote history

But it’s still a separate issue from the detention.

MyNumber1Rule · 10/10/2023 19:13

I can't get passed the fact a Y13 gets detention, that's college age, I have never heard of that before?

Y13 you shouldn't be getting involved unless it's a really serious situation. Let her deal with it herself.

AprilMayBeJune · 10/10/2023 19:13

Why bother asking here if you aren’t prepared to take on board other opinions?

itsgettingweird · 10/10/2023 19:13

But you don't know why the teacher is late.

Teachers can get held up for all sorts of reasons.

Students not so much!

Your DD has been late. Admits she's late. Has no reason to be late.

She could choose not to be!!!

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