Little rituals you do for yourself that have big rewards

[Cazzovuoi]

i have Complex-PTSD after a horrific childhood thanks to my narc mother. It’s taken me a long time to learn how to take care of myself. I’m not looking for sympathy, just giving some context.

Part of my recovery has been to create self care habits for myself that include washing my teeth every night and putting on lip balm etc.

I’d love to know what little rituals you do for yourself. Like moisturising your whole body after a shower or putting on face cream and settling in bed with a book.

I’m looking for inspiration, for little things because Google gives insipid shite like get a manicure or light a scented candle (I loathe scented candles). I need inspiration from real women!

I learned to crochet a couple of years ago, I can’t emphasise enough how good this has been for me mentally.

I have this sentence I repeat often and it protects me from lots of evils :
"Must I Do This Now".

It's only 5 words, but you need to ask the question 5 times, each time putting the emphasis on another word. If an answer is NO, then don't do whatever is asked of you.
I have found this is a great way of taking care of yourself.
At least, it works for me!

Great suggestions in this thread! Love finding out what everyone else enjoys :)
for me, a couple of squares of my favourite chocolate (Lindt dark mint) whilst watching tv in the evening is a nightly ritual . I’ve also started to get into audio books, I love listening to old favourites whilst walking the dogs early in the morning. Riding my bike into town when the weather is nice always puts me in a good mood too.

I make my bed every morning and then give my kitchen a good wipe down and clean up any cups left over from the day before. It sets my day up to have a clean and nice smelling kitchen every time I walk into it

I'm absolutely loving this thread. Gentle hug to all out there also living with cPTSD.

Mine are: morning and evening cleansing routines, hot baths, buying and reading books. Also, going to bed early when I need to. Something that I picked up a while ago when the self-hatred kicks in is to think about what a small child with these feelings needs, and try to do that.

I also do things like meal prep and iron my clothes. This is for the 'me' during the week who is busy and tired and deserves nutrition and looking put together. Because grew up in an absolute hovel, and feeling taken care of now is really important for my mental health.

I have complex ptsd also after horrific childhood. Setting my life up for healing has been the way forward for me. Regular therapy, I’m privileged enough to not need to work at the moment.
I do regular yoga, I have an exercise bike. I crochet. I rest a lot. Honestly people with cptsd need a lot of rest.
Gardening or simply being outside every day helps. I use expensive hand cream, it makes me cry when I apply it sometimes, self care quite often does.

I also write a lot, I use beautiful journals and write with pretty pens. Those things help. Oh and staying warm. Warm, soft clothes.

Treat yourself to a new book once a month/whenever and sit in Waterstones with a coffee reading it. (I don’t actually do this but my friend gave me the idea).

A lovely coffee from a good coffee shop.

Taking time for yoga or walks, prioritising that over chores

Learn to play a new song on the guitar each week.

My Sunday evening routine once kids in bed. Tea and chocolate on sofa with book or tv.
Dry skin brushing then exfoliate in a nice bath using my homemade lemon and coconut oil body scrub.
Into fresh PJs and face mask.
It's bliss! That's the only day of the week I eat chocolate so it's a real treat.

I have CPTSD too. DH and I have a deal that if things get too much - for either of us - we cash in our hotel card. The past few weeks have been hard for me, so I've done that and have a break booked for this weekend. Just for me. Not always doable depending on budget, but scalable - it used to be a coffee, or lunch etc.

I love this thread it’s so lovely to read

Every morning I journal it really helps to clear my head for the day and I notice if I miss it. I often do a 10min meditation.

each morning and night I cleanse, tone and moisturise my skin and I really enjoy trying different products.

I also find reading, dancing (love 90s or greatest hits radio) and going for walks really helpful for my mind.

I hope you find some things that help you from this thread.

I love this thread… but I’m saddened by it too, as there’s so many of us damaged by childhood traumas, PTSD, etc.

Some amazing ideas on here, too, lovely how so many are based round nature and our own pets.

Ive just taken 2 months extended leave from work, as I had become very overwhelmed by life , as often happens. I did a lot of self care in that time, re-established my sleeping pattern, eating correctly and regularly, and making sure I got enough fluids (my frantic non-stop shifts are caused by severe staff cutbacks) and I suffered a bad kidney infection due to the situation. My GP was really concerned by this and advised a complete re-schedule….. oh the lovely man was right!
I have returned doing only a strict 2 day week, with proper toilet breaks and enough time for drinks etc. I do feel better, and that total break was a life-saver!
Well done and 💐 to all survivors….

Cuddles with my beloved cat are up there at night or on the sofa when his busy schedule allows. I read that their purring is on a healing frequency which i don't fully understand but it works beautifully as a natural white noise when I can't sleep or feel anxious. I've been very unwell lately, largely physical but suspect past trauma plays a mental part. He's been a big, chunky, fluffy godsend.

Lovely thread and lovely ideas. I hope everyone is all the better for their little bits of self care.
I need to start doing this. My approach up to now is to arrange something bigger when I can - theatre trip, night away, etc. - but it makes a lot more sense to me right now to try to build small things into my day so I don't look forward to the big things quite so much - and miss out on daily life.
One thing I do is Duolingo. I'm on quite a long streak now, over a year, and I make that little bit of time each day to keep it going. I don't always feel like it, but it only takes five minutes and I have to prioritise myself each day to do it.

After reading a reply on here at the weekend I've bought cuticle oil which I have left next to my multi vitamin and kettle so I'm going to start putting it on a breakfast. I've been a nail biter for years but have managed to kick that habit but replaced it with skin picking which I seem to do without even realising. My fingers at the moment are the best they have been in over a year so I'm thinking daily cuticle oil will also help

Nope, I'm there with you.

The one thing I realised is the to do list never ever goes down, and the demands on my time never stop. If I were to wait until ‘it gets quieter’ ‘ things ease off’ or the finish line I would never ever make the time to look after myself.

It just wouldn’t happen.I force it, literally ram it through some weeks. What are the repercussions? None. Surprisingly, nothing untoward happens when I make the time and space for self care - the only difference it makes is to me in a positive way.

Christmas always tested me - so this year the challenge is not to create a super Christmas or a perfect Christmas but light a candle, play some music, run a bath and let others also take the strain. I am standing back this year and stripping out everything that makes it demanding rather than fun.

What a lovely, positive thread. It's encouraged me to put in place a nice self care routine that I can carry out now and again.

Love this thread. I'm yet to establish a good morning routine but it's on my list of things to do. For now, wake up, cup of Yorkshire Gold under the pergola and do Wordle. Am trying to get into morning yoga with Adrienne.

So many great ideas on this thread and I'm going to take some on board.

For me:

Audible subscription.
Gym membership (in conjunction with the above, it's an hour where I can empty my head and no-one can mither me)
Good quality herbal tea with a slice of lemon in the evening
Walking in the countryside at the weekend
Scented woodwick candles (sorry!) in the winter - it's like a tiny bonfire!

A walk. Every day, I go for a 30 minute walk in our local woods. I love it so much. I catch the light filtering through the leaves, the sounds of the birds and animals, I've even caught sight of a deer.

Good filter coffee on the weekend

Audiobooks (free in the library app or YouTube. )

Such an inspiring thread.

Lots of things to try.

I'm currently doing mine: I got up at 5:30 and I'm sat with my Maine coon on my lap dozing with the cricket on the tv. This is just bliss. I can hear movement above from the rest of the household so that means coffee for me 💜

@Lastchancechica YES to the Pete Walker book.

If anyone with CPTSD hasn’t read it yet, I suggest you do it immediately. It’s like he was describing me personally and it was transformative.

@Lateliein big hugs to you