Little rituals you do for yourself that have big rewards

[Cazzovuoi]

i have Complex-PTSD after a horrific childhood thanks to my narc mother. It’s taken me a long time to learn how to take care of myself. I’m not looking for sympathy, just giving some context.

Part of my recovery has been to create self care habits for myself that include washing my teeth every night and putting on lip balm etc.

I’d love to know what little rituals you do for yourself. Like moisturising your whole body after a shower or putting on face cream and settling in bed with a book.

I’m looking for inspiration, for little things because Google gives insipid shite like get a manicure or light a scented candle (I loathe scented candles). I need inspiration from real women!

Sundays are my big reset days!

Clean bedding, clean towels, clean the whole house in the morning.
The afternoon is napping, audiobooks, telly etc. whatever I feel like.
After dinner, nice bath, face mask etc
Early in bed chilling!

I love this thread. Some lovely ideas although I'm in the minority who bloody hate baths but can totally see why others
Enjoy them!

I have PTSD following birth/postnatal events. My brain feels so full of terror and anger sometimes.

Things I do:
1- Run. Run. Run. I am slow. I look like a tomato. It hurts my legs and my everything. But I go, and listen to my music, and think (and sometimes shout!) F* YOU I'm alive and I'm taking charge of my body. I dont run to be fast, or to go far, I run because it makes me feel alive.

1. When I go to bed, I sometimes pop my head round my daughters door and watch her sleeping for a bit. It's like being covered in a wave of love just watching her.

1. ASMR (yup I'm one of those weirdos). Listening to pages being turned for half an hour and just lying still.

1. Massage my c section, endo and laparotomy scars with posh Neal's yard stuff. My stomach and pelvis are absolutely covered in massive scars from open abdominal surgery, c section, 3 x endo surgeries. Massaging them with cream is hard, and I hate feeling my body but it feels like an act of love. Like I'm reclaiming the skin.

Keep posting everyone.

I do this 15 minute yoga video every single day before I go up to bed. It's not too taxing but gives your whole body a stretch. I feel brilliant afterwards.

This has been a perfect Sunday morning read! I'm going into my day with a very different mindset. Cup of tea and then music and housework for me!

This is a nice, inspiring, relaxing read https://amzn.to/3RQgCvD

I really like her books.

Really enjoying this thread, thank you all.

Something I started in lockdown was to spray expensive going out scent on in the evenings after having my shower.
I’ve run out of that scent now and can’t justify nearly £100 for a new bottle.

This thread actually makes me a bit tearful as I realise I don't do much for myself... I'm always ON... Husband works away a lot, I work ft, have 3 kids, a dog and a cat.. I rarely get time to myself. But today, reading this in a garden centre with a nice flat white, having dropped no. 3 at rugby for an hr, I realise I need to do something, anything, every single day.

Lateliein it is never too late.This time last yr I was out at work 60 hrs a week in a fast paced place.
Meals at mealtime were a luxury.Now I make time to do the things that matter.
I also forgot I bought some inexpensive kettlebells and do 100 swings before work.
My frozen shoulder has gone and ìvd never been fitter.

Go and have a test squirt in M&S to see if you can find a cheaper alternative?

I was very impressed with the quality of their perfume section when I was last in there and the cost per ml was extremely competitive.

Or see if anyone is selling one secondhand in one of the Facebook beauty groups like Nadine Baggotts or Sali Hughes'?

Fragrance has such an effect on our emotions I'd be loathe to give it up.

A proper fresh coffee in a cafetiere on a weekend with milk in a jug

A shower before bed and sometimes a good scrub with sparkle skin and the lots of moisturiser. And fresh bed linen. Blissful.

I also love a cup of tea, some chocolate and something good to watch.

Sitting outside with a cup of tea first or last thing.

On rainy, windy days I take a flask of coffee and a sticky bun and park at the beach for an hour with my book, listening to the waves and the rain.
I feel so refreshed afterwards. It's nice to leave hubby in charge and have some peace sometimes.

Other things I do:

Once a week when I'm working from home I walk into town on my lunch break, buy a takeaway coffee and walk back home drinking it. It's about an hour round trip and feels like a treat at the same time as getting some gentle exercise and fresh air.

Every single morning and night I wash my face with a flannel and put on moisturiser. Any cheap one does me but I like browsing in TKMaxx for bargains/new ones to try.

When I get out of the bath or shower I slather sweet almond oil over my whole body. If I was immediately getting dressed and going out I couldn't as it's too greasy but it's perfect if getting straight into PJs and is extremely moisturising. DH has commented on how soft my skin is since I've been doing it and it takes me about 30 seconds after my shower.

I take vitamins every day. A multivitamin, omega 3, turmeric for my joints, apple cider vinegar for digestion, a collagen supplement and a hyaluronic acid supplement. I take them in the evening with a cup of herbal tea sat in front of the TV.

Every Friday night I pour myself a G&T or glass of wine, put some music on and just chill. No talking to anyone, no watching TV, just relaxing while I finish my drink.

Every morning I take a good quality multi vitamin and 2 magnesium tablets washed down with Yakult. Then I squirt high dose Vitamin D under my tongue. Feels like I'm helping my body x

I have the same thing. Reading Pete Walker surviving complex PTSD really helped me understand the condition.

Your central nervous system will be damaged. So Epsom salts in a full bath soaking for at least 20 minutes will help regulate your body again.

Learn to breathe deeply and properly and know when you are breathing too fast and shallow will trigger F&F response.

Candles and low lighting is essential. Burning and using esssential oils like rosemary, lavender and geranium will help you centre yourself

I am surrounded by living plants and flowers inside and out.

Every month or so I will buy myself a florist bouquet of flowers because I celebrate my ability to survive life. I choose seasonally and highly scented and it’s a visual reminder that those flowers are just for me. This month it was an autumn wreath for my front door.

I don’t fritter away holidays and time but spend months considering where in the world is worth my precious and finite resources. I never go back to the same place twice.

We keep the fire pit topped up all year round and we sit around it and chat with music and sometimes friends.

I learnt to embrace panic attacks and not feel afraid.

I stop worrying about what I can’t change and only live for today. I’ve stop controlling everything around me.

I take the time to chop up vegetables and salads and make colourful beautiful dinners and lunches.

I take time off when I am ill, and care for myself in the same way I would a small child, and ask what that child needs.

I am careful about who I share my life with these days.

I play rainforest spa or classical music in my house at a low level every day in the kitchen. It lowers everyone’s stress response.

I gave up on expectations of others and decided I would take people as they are not as I wanted them to be.

I turn off my phone and have days of silence.

You can start today, it’s a habit like any other.

Cleansing and moisturising my face properly at night,

Cutting my nails and putting a bit of clear gel polish on them every week - Revlon gel envy diamond coat.

Fresh clean sheets - don’t do this very often.

Tidying as I go so the house never gets too messy, tidying as you go only takes a few minutes rather than letting things pile up and then it seems like a monumental stressful task

Taking my vitamins every day.

Turning off some notifications on my phone and definitely work e-mail notifications should be set to do not disturb after 6ish.

Eating relatively healthy

Making an effort with my appearance and putting on a bit of makeup. When I look good I feel good

Getting out of the house and going for a walk ( I work from home), most of the time while doing this I listen to some good 80s music to lift my mood, nothing like a bit of good 80’s musics to lift the spirits, you almost feel like you want to dance to it!

By the way OP, I definitely don’t do all of the above every day and when I feel down I let a lot of them slip, but when I do some of these things every day I definitely feel better about myself and feel like I have more control over my life.

It takes time to build good habits so don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t do your self care rituals every day but it is worth making an effort

Good luck

It’s taken me 15 years to build up slowly. I now no longer need the parents I should have had. I do the parenting and it’s great because there is no harshness or criticism. There is a loving voice gently wrapping itself around my life taking care of it all.

I buy myself lillies on payday. They seem to last about two weeks and I love the smell of them in my house. I also read for about 20 minutes every night when I get into bed.

@Bookist
I'm very interested in vitamin supplements but to be honest I never know if taking something on top of a good quality multi vitamin would be over dosing. There's so much information out there and can get quite confusing

I have had such a lovely self care day. I had a lie in till 10am then had crumpets and coffee. I treated myself to real butter for these. I then did a full body stretches this takes me 10 to 15 minutes. I've had a soak in a hot bath then used my exfoliating mit, sea salt scrub afterwards and then full body moisturise from top to bottom ( white tub Nivea ) and moisturised my feet with the Body Shop peppermint foot lotion. Im now in clean pyjamas relaxing on my bed reading my book. I feel so good after all of that 🙂

pizza and a movie... gosh I want a pizza now!

moisturising whole body and putting on fresh pj's before bed

fresh bed linen day!

tea and cake in the conservatory

little wander in the garden

going out by myself for a coffee or a meal with a good book. I do a lot of solo hols too.

I've done the same today, crumpets with real butter and coffee. A long bath, body scrub and face mask, moisturised all.over. painted my toes and now reading a new b9ok while a roast dinner cooks.

After a long day working in the garden I was inspired by this thread too and have just had a bubble bath with bath oil and salts, listening to rainforest spa music. Now in PJs and I'm going to have a pizza and watch a film with a rum and coke. Heavenly!

I love the way you took a little from each suggestion to create your evening 🕯️🧘🏼‍♀️