Little rituals you do for yourself that have big rewards

[Cazzovuoi]

i have Complex-PTSD after a horrific childhood thanks to my narc mother. It’s taken me a long time to learn how to take care of myself. I’m not looking for sympathy, just giving some context.

Part of my recovery has been to create self care habits for myself that include washing my teeth every night and putting on lip balm etc.

I’d love to know what little rituals you do for yourself. Like moisturising your whole body after a shower or putting on face cream and settling in bed with a book.

I’m looking for inspiration, for little things because Google gives insipid shite like get a manicure or light a scented candle (I loathe scented candles). I need inspiration from real women!

I am so envious of this!

Something I have done all my life, so now it is more habit than treat, is cleanse, tone, moisturise every single night, no matter how late, how tired, how drunk (when younger) I am / was. Was at an unofficial reunion with old school friends two weeks ago - none of us had seen each other for 30 years - and so many people said how young I looked. That felt good. Especially as, at school, I was never the prettiest / the thinnest / the smartest etc.

Look after yourself, OP.

Always having posh toiletries to use in the gym.

It makes me want to go to the gym more knowing I've got Fenjal shower gel or whatever to wash with afterwards

Thank you all for your kind comments 🥰

@CatMattress I love epic soundtracks so Lord of the Rings, Avatar etc. to regulate myself when I am in an emotional flashback.

I use the cat’s therapeutically as the frequency of their purrs are the perfect for healing and regeneration. It’s called Purr Therapy 😁 https://www.scienceworld.ca/stories/secret-power-cats-purr/

I actually enjoyed Wendy Meadows short stories. Nice and relaxing.
Had absolute disappointment now with The death of winter from Macbride...

Not read the whole thread yet but

Exercise that I enjoy
A podcast/YouTube video while I floss and do skincare
A speaker for music while I'm in the shower
An early night with a saved TV show
Moisturising all over with a body oil and lotion
Spending time taking care of my feet!

My Quatre Heure (4 o’clock):

Hot Chocolate from Velvetiser, Pendragon flakes & full fat jersey milk. Decadent.

I love the No.1 Lady Detective Series (Alexander McCall Smith) also the Inpsector Singh Investigates series (Shamini Flint).

Also ordered the cuticle oil! You sound cool shame you're not my friend IRL. :(

@Forgoodnesssakejustletme

https://www.superdrug.com/make-up/nails/nail-care/cuticle-cream/essie-nail-care-cuticle-oil-apricot-treatment/p/768552

I do the breakfast dishes, (quick tidy make kids beds) then have a nice coffee in the garden. If it’s raining I just open the door, or go in the garage. (bonus, I have to get dressed too). I try to meditate 2 or 3 times a day, just short ones. If I’m feeling overwhelmed with housework, I just clean one sink. I do a gratitude list and a to do list. I enjoy walking and cycling, so I make sure I do at least a walk most days.

I’m awful at this and have stopped any sort of self care over time really. Would like to start though- with something easy… can anyone recommend a nice shower gel that I could pick up, not too expensive but feels luxurious and available in shops so I can get it today please…and then will introduce other things, starting with a tidy house!!!

When I need an everything shower I deep condition my hair and then have a big scrub with coffee scrub. Then afterwards whilst my hair is in a drying towel I will do a face mask and just sit with my eyes shut for 10 mins. They are easy to pick up in boots or Superdrug and aren’t too expensive really. Also every single night I cleanse my face with a hot cloth and then use night oil. The smell is so relaxing.

Another thing I like to do, after I’ve done the nursery run and when I’m working from home. On my lunch break I often need to do some grocery shopping so when I get into my car I just sit in silence for literally just 2 mins. Really nice especially when it’s sunny and the car is warm heh.

I'm in a very similar boat you OP, any basic form of self care feels very wrong - like I'm self indulgent or pampering myself. My legs got awfully dry and itchy so now I do moisturise them most nights. I use aveeno though as its not scented so it feels more like a medical routine. I struggle to take painkillers and used to suffer, I'm slowly accepting I can take a paracetamol as soon as I get a headache and that does not make me a 'drama queen'
I've stopped biting my nails and now take care of them - file them regularly, use cuticle oil and one coat of clear nail strengthening varnish.

This is such a great thread and thanks to OP for starting it. It’s nice to hear that others struggle with self care too and lovely ideas!!

I self care a lot, so have different things for different times.

This morning was me going downstairs, making a fresh coffee, 2 pieces of white toast with lots of butter, peanut butter and a banana and taking it back to bed, to enjoy whilst watching a boxset. This is instead of getting up and “doing”. I took an hour to myself, no one died that I did and I felt better for it.

I love working out so my self care is at the gym too. I get a lot out of it, working on a particular muscle group and seeing the slow progress.

As others have said, it’s the little things like a face mask, body scrub and nail care that make all the difference.

We are conditioned as a society to think that sitting down and doing nothing is lazy, when it is 100% needed for our mind body and soul.

I love these threads! So mine are

• On a Saturday I do what I call an everything shower. I use a hair mask, skin peel, shave top to bottom and use an exfoliating scrub. Then moisturise with Nivea ( the white tub ) I do this EVERY Saturday no matter what my plans for that day are.
• I have an Epsom salt bath once a week and I stay in for at least 45min to an hour and a half just depending. I also add a teaspoon of coconut oil which has really helped my skin and less hard work than moisturising seems to be. My bath is for relaxing either reading or listening to music I don't do any self care such as shaving its purely to enjoy the heat in my muscles and relax.
• I do some simple top to toe stretches when I first get out of bed. I must admit if I have a bads night sleep I often skip them but this is something I want to improve on.
• I always make sure I eat breakfast. Doesn't need to be something special just coffee and toast etc but cause they way my shift is I don't work long enough to get a break and it falls right over lunch time so prioritising breakfast is a big one for me.
• I love a scented candle ( appreciate not everyone does )
• I read everyday. Some days might only be a chapter other days I binge but I always have a book on the go. I'm on book 24 of the year so I'm really proud of that

A really nice showergel. Foe me.it Clarins relax concentrate or Sanctuary. A.little more pricey however it feels like I am really taking care of myself and a bit of a luxury

As much as I love Elemis, Clarins and Neom, they are expensive. It depends on your taste, scent wise but I like Treaclemoon products. They are about £2 and all the major supermarkets sell them. They consistently get 5 star reviews. At this time of year I'm still using the coconut one as it reminds me of holidays (used to love the Body Shop one, but it's so overpriced now) I always look out for more seasonal fragrances at Christmas.

Thanks Treaclemoon my budget at the moment for day to day- will go to get some this afternoon- just not enjoying radox etc. love that Nivea idea too! Will go through and pick out some more easy ideas. The hot cloth cleanse sounds great- don’t want to come across as stupid but do I need to get anything special for that!!

I shut my curtains. Turn my music up and dance. Like a child jumping around and just really letting go. I know when I’m getting down when I don’t dance anymore. It’s really lifts your mood

@CatMattress can I suggest Susan Fletcher?
Her books are beautifully written. Favourites so far have been Corag and House of Glass. Not my normal genre (or yours) but you may enjoy them.
I tend to buy from online second hand bookstores but I prefer a book.

Which brings me to my self care.
Definitely reading. I have always been a reader, even in my darkest days (CPTSD) .
I have learned to knit. I find it a great way to stop the brain spinning and drown out the shit.
Occasionally I document or write but it's rare these days.
I really find routine helpful even if it's not detailed and written in stone.
Rising and going to bed is always the same routine.
There is comfort in that.

@Cazzovuoi thank you starting this, and thank you to everyone who has shared and linked 🌺

For those of you who are readers and don't mind digital, most library services have borrowbox app which is downloadable books AND audiobooks although it depends on your local library service.
Brillliant app to download, then you just need your library card details.

I like to sew, and the act of deliberately making time to sew, and the actual sewing up of a garment gives me lots of joy. I put on some music and just sew things for the sake of it, it's great. I love buying new fabric too, although I've put myself on a temporary fabric shop ban as I have more than enough now to last me a while!

I've discovered that I get more joy from making clothes for my kids than making something for myself as the fitting is so much easier in kids clothes (basically just has to be big enough to put on), much quicker to make overall and mistakes also take much less time to fix.

Is this a joke? Do you seriously have to convince yourself that raspberries are healthy? You do realise they are supremely healthy right?

I love this too! I do it on Monday morning. Like you, I write out every single boring thing that I have to do. I also have cute stickers for my planner haha!

Kitchen disco with a glass of wine! I pretty much always have music playing, even if it's just local radio in the background, & absolutely love prancing about the kitchen for an hour before I shower. (Quite often dd1 will join me too & we pretend to have mics and sing along). It's really fun & puts me in a good mood 🤣 I know I'm not quite right if there's no music or singing going on.

I make time to do something I enjoy every day. At the moment, this is really easy because I'm off work. Quite often it's an hour or two at the table painting or crocheting, or something along those lines.

Scrubby everything shower, facemask, and full body moisturise pretty much every Sunday evening before settling down. Sometimes paint my toe nails and stick nail stickers on my fingers too. I pinched the idea from @Decafflatteplease 🙂

Get up half an hour before anyone else so I can start my day in silence with a cuppa. Even better on a weekend when I'm up hours before everyone else and can just be - either in my kitchen spot at the table, or in the garden watching the birds pootle about. I like to brew a pot of tea and drink it from my tea set cups with saucers, on a weekend morning, too.

Every Sunday morning I have an extra long shower. Slap on a hair masque, full body exfoliation, slather on body lotion. Then put on a face masque and tidy eyebrows. That way, I always start the week feeling very polished.