Nursery’s comments about 3 year old’s lunchbox

[Fussyeating]

DS is 3 and he recently started at a new nursery. DH and I work FT so he attends 4 full days a week 8-6. He previously attended a different nursery who were great in ways but utterly useless in others so we decided to find a new one to cover this academic year.

The issue we have with this nursery is their attitude to food and fussy eating. DS has always been a fussy eater, even as a small infant when he first started weaning. I have no idea why, older DS is not fussy at all and will eat just about anything without complaint. We didn’t do anything differently when we weaned him, we still offer him all the same foods we eat on a daily basis but he often just won’t touch them. He won’t eat pieces of fruit at all, he actually never has. We followed BLW with both DC but DS2 just rejected any form of fruit or veg unless the veg was disguised within a meal. He’s still the same now, he will only eat vegetables if they’re very well disguised within a meal such as chilli, curry, pasta bake etc.

With regards to fruit intake, the only way we can get him to consume any fruit of any sort is within snacks such as innocent smoothie cartons, bear yo-yos and Nakd bars. I appreciate none of this is ideal, I obviously wish he’d just eat a bowl of berries or whatever like DC1 does but this is all we can get him to accept fruit wise.

The nursery offers one set meal a day with no other selection. Initially we thought we’d try DS with their hot meals and see if maybe it broadened his horizons, perhaps he’d try something new when he saw all of the other children there eating it. What actually happened was he went the full day between breakfast at 7am and dinner when he got home just after 6pm without eating anything at all. The nursery didn’t attempt to offer him anything outside of their set meal such as plain toast like his previous nursery would have, they just essentially let him starve.

Suffice to say, we switched him over to a lunchbox after this. The issue is, the nursery staff keep commenting on the contents within his lunchbox. When DH drops him off, they actually open the lunchbox and will remove certain items and pass them to DH saying DS can’t eat them. Examples are as I mentioned previously- innocent smoothie cartons, bear yo-yos and oat bars. These items are on a very small list of lunchbox style items DS will actually willingly eat. They have said they don’t mind if he brings more packets of crisps and extra sandwiches but they don’t want him to bring ‘high sugar’ foods. The weird thing is, they offer the children dessert with their meal every single day and it’s things such as profiteroles or cake and custard so to offer that but have an issue with something like an oat bar seems bonkers to me! He also often returns home with items like that uneaten and I know he would eat them so I’m gathering they’re intentionally not opening them for him.

I ended up sending a long ranting email yesterday because I was pretty furious that they keep restricting his already quite restrictive diet. When he’s there for 10 hours and there’s an 11 hour gap between the meals he has at home, we need to make sure he’s eating adequately and isn’t going hungry. I’ve already enquired at different nurseries, however I do know FT slots in the area we live in are rare so the chances of us sourcing alternative childcare are slim. I’m just looking for advice really, what’s the best course of action here? Also, if anyone has any tips regarding fussy eating, I’d fully appreciate those!

I haven’t because when I mentioned it to a HV at his 2 year review, she basically said that some children are so fussy they will only eat 1-2 food items so the fact he accepts a fairly wide range of food was promising. By that, I gather she meant because he enjoys things such as curry or chilli when some children will only eat chicken nuggets and chips.

That doesn't sound too bad at all, I thought he was much more restricted. Lunch of a sandwich, yoghurt and crisps (veggie straws?) would surely be fine. If he needs more filling up because of the long gap between meals then send some of the blueberry wheats with the milk separate and ask them to pour over?

I think people find it hard to comprehend that not all fussy eating is just being fussy iyswim.

As a child I was that fussy eater. I couldn’t, and still can’t abide fruit and veg. It’s the texture of them that I can’t stand. Far too squishy and just revolting IMO. It’s not being fussy it’s a physical aversion iyswim.

I get round it by eating raw or crunchy veg. So raw carrot/peas, I eat a lot of stir-fried veg because they’re more crunchy, I love baby sweetcorn for that reason. In terms of fruit I prefer fruit juice and will eat apples.

Honestly I would give less thought to fruit and veg. Fruit contains a lot of sugar and as long as he’s having veg in any way shape or form he’ll be fine.

In terms of his lunchbox at nursery, the fact that they’re taking issue with a smoothy and yet saying he can have more packets of crisps is ridiculous.

At home there’s nothing wrong with putting veg in things. So if he’ll eat them in pasta/chilli/pies etc then so be it. You don’t have to have a plate full of veg to be eating veg.

Also what about soups. Again for me textural, but a nicely blended soup with some crusty bread works wonders.

Is this a vegetarian diet? Would he eat meat and fish? I say this as a vegetarian but I won't raise my dd on a solely veggie diet. Maybe he could have pasta salad or something in a thermos for lunch if he likes pasta as an evening meal? Then add lower sugar cereal bars and yoghurt. The blueberry Nakd bars have 18g sugar but the Kellogs Rice Krispies bars have 6g sugar (I just looked online).

They’re very concentrated fruit, no fruit, essential just the sugar from the fruit. They’re a UPF and are awful for teeth.

it's just fruit that's been whizzed up and dehydrated. No worse than raisins - nothing inherently bad about them. Just not the ideal way to consume a strawberry - as presumably they're eating more 'fruit' than they might normally and therefor more sugar.

A yo yo is 20g for 2 pieces - it has 8.4g of sugar and is made with about 120g of strawberries.
120g of fresh strawberries (c.4 strawberries) has 5.4g of sugar.

To put this in context 20g of Percy Pigs is 7.5g of sugar...

If we're worried about sugar - better to give some Percy pigs than 2 yo yos!
Yoyos are a sugary treat that is slightly more nutritious, but contain more sugar than a percy pig...

Not exclusively vegetarian, no. We do eat primarily vegetarian so a lot of beans, pulses, vegetables etc but DH is not vegetarian so he will occasionally cook chicken curry for example which DS loves. He won’t eat fish, we have tried fish based dishes including ones where the fish is hidden well within a sauce but he isn’t a fan.

there's fruit in them... it's just dehydrated.

Would he eat a boiled egg in his lunchbox, shelled? And a handful of shredded wheat if he'd eat them dry (my kids don't do milk on cereal!)? Dickie yoghurtd altho the price has risen inextricably lately.

But yes, call to manager. He's too little for them to just leave without food for that long.

I'd ask where they are getting their nutritional advice from. The body treats white bread exactly the same as sugar.

Can you give him the curry or chilli? They can be eaten cold. Another vote for a bento type box and taking things out of packets.

It might be worth tying some of the bento 'accessories' too, a cherry tomato is fairly boring but one on a stick shaped like a giraffe might be more appealing. And yes I know a fussy eater might not see that as anything other than something he does not like.

Will he eat hard boiled egg? You can get bento molds that make them look like a fish or a bunny.

Scrambled egg can also be eaten cold.

I’m going to get a bento box right now and I will try things like the dried shredded wheat as you say, it’s a good idea.

Point taken about bear yo-yos, will stop adding those as frequently.

My ds (grown now) wasn't a fussy eater but I can understanding the difficulties that some parents have to get their children to eat but as you say although well meaning, people have no isea. Cold salsa, refried beans and capsicum are really not going to cut it for a fussy eater.

Not sure I’d feel great packing cold scrambled egg or whether he’d even eat it cold without toast. Boiled eggs are a flat no, have tried but he just won’t. He’ll only eat soft boiled with toast, he’s a big fan of plain toast.

Would he have chicken sandwiches or chicken pasta salad for lunch? I think you should try and get an appointment to see a paediatric dietician because this sounds tricky!

Make extra of what he eats for dinner and send it in a flask. Or in a pot and he can eat it cold.

How many sweet items are you adding each day? I would personally never put more than one in. If you have sandwich, crisps, yoghurt and an oat bar then surely that’s enough for a 3YO and he doesn’t also need a smoothie, a yoyo and a biscuit? Maybe the sandwich portion needs to be bigger, large petit filous instead of the mini ones, swap the crisps to more filling ones eg low salt walkers ready salted have about twice the calorie content of pom bears.

My son was a fussy eater, never ate fruit and wouldnt eat anything in a sauce. His dislike of fruit was extensive .. no tomato or anything tomato based (eg pizza was out). He dislikes the texture And would gag if forced. Btw He's now 6ft and works out in the gym and very active!

So a couple of things, one option is to leave him on nursery provided meals. Make sure they are offering him at least something that he will eat and he may expand slightly what he's prepared to eat. We did this because school dinners were basically compulsory but at least he could eat pasta and no sauce. It wasn't especially well balanced but was good for him to see others eating and work out how he could pick out suitable food from a selection on offer. Good life skills! So negotiate with nursery to make their selection better for him.

Option 2 accept they won't and make the lunch a bit less high sugar. Those fruit things are basically sugar, sorry to say as are biscuits and shop bought smoothies are similar. Even if it's 100pc fruit, the fruit is broken down by blizting so it's straight to bloodstream as sugar, so im sorry to say they are right. I'd worry less about trying to include a bit of everything in the lunchbox and focus on protein and some carbs and what he will eat. Would he eat cold meatballs for example ? You can hide a bit of veg in those. He doesn't need to eat fruit at every meal as most vits etc can be found in other stuff.

Granulated sugar is made from sugar beet… that doesn’t make it a vegetable!

No, the two sandwich fillers I mentioned before are literally the only sandwich fillings he will consume. We have tried soooo many different ones over the past couple of years but honestly, he will only eat either cheese and pickle or the cheese and onion sandwich filler.

It isn’t ideal but a typical lunchbox will probably contain 3-4 sugary items e.g organix oat bar, bear yo-yo, innocent smoothie and a packet of Maryland cookies. As I say, I know this isn’t amazing but those are food items I know for a fact he will eat and when he’s there for 10 hours a day and only 3 years old, I need to know he’s eating enough.

As I said before, we tried him with the nursery meals but he flatly refused to eat anything all day at all. The nursery didn’t offer him an alternative such as plain toast so he went for 11 hours without eating a single thing.

Just wanted to lend support. I have one of those at home. My eldest. Very fussy, but happily getting better with age. The issue I have now is with my youngest. He is a great eater at home, but school and lunch boxes, we have issues. His packed lunch is stressful, as he won't eat anything that has been sitting in a flask for too long. Won't eat sandwiches. Won't eat wraps. Won't eat veg but will eat some fruits. And the worst part, he 'goes off' foods a lot. So what works today can fail tomorrow. I have to send him in with nonsense in his lunchbox and I'm so grateful the school understand, or else I'd be truly stressed.

If he eats cheese, would he have slices of cheddar, grated cheese, babybel, cheesestrings?

DS is bonkers about chickpea curry too - I used to make a tortilla wrap with it as a filling, would he eat that?

The thing about fruit is the fibre is beneficial, the bear things don't have chemicals but they're basically just fructose/fruit sugar, so not exactly a health food although they're parcelled that way.

My kids are quite fussy so I feel your pain, however I'm too much of a scrooge to buy packaged processed stuff like kiddy crisps and bars (the price per 100g is insane! They're often just peas or bloody oats!) I think you could probably find things he'd eat without resorting to those.

We quite often have tortilla as well - eg cooked spaghetti mixed with egg and cheese, done in a pan then sliced - would he eat that if you got him used to it at home? You can give it a nice crispy bottom :)

I think if you asked, you'd likely find that the desserts at the nursery, such as cake and custard are actually very low added sugar. The cake is usually 50% fruit/ veg, so sweetened only with the fruit or beetroot for example. The custard will be a low sugar version and have the benefit of calcium.

I would certainly try unwrapping things and offering things like the oaty bars chopped up in a little pot that he can open himself.

Have you tried dried fruit like mango, banana chips, dehydrated berries etc? Fruit tinned in juice (not syrup)? The different textures might appeal.