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Original poster

I'm stuck on a boat and I need a poo

297 replies

Onaboat7 · 30/09/2023 15:42

Genuinely. I've nc for this 😳
I'm on my friends boat and the etiquette is to just have a wee, but I've been told the poo procedure and I....just.....can't

OP posts:
IcakethereforeIam · 30/09/2023 16:45

What do you say when you hand it over? I saw this and thought of you!?i

OP if you're currently alone on the boat and you can't get ashore, just go for it. Then either bury it in a pot plant or throw it overboard.

Plan no.2 call 999 ask for the coastguard.

ohdamnitjanet · 30/09/2023 16:46

NooNakedJacuzziness · 30/09/2023 16:29

Poop up on the pop deck, I mean pop up on the poop deck

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha 😆

Original poster
Onaboat7 · 30/09/2023 16:47

For those of you who don't believe me - here is said toilet.

Ok - I went - and scooped it out with my bare fucking hands, wrapped it in tissue and chucked it off the side. And watched it stubbornly float away.

My friend is not back yet. I have emptied and refilled the fucking toilet about ten times.

I'm stuck on a boat and I need a poo
OP posts:

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General health
ifuckinghateithere · 30/09/2023 16:48

Do you not find it weird that he asked you to hand over the poo, OP?

Does that not concern you - like even a little bit?

Honestly his poo protocol isn't normal for being on a boat it's just an excuse.

Puffypuffin · 30/09/2023 16:48

You're going to have to do it in a bag and dispose of it later. You'll have to wrap it up in 450 layers of toilet paper and put it in 35 bags to stop the .. um .. aroma ...

Therealjudgejudy · 30/09/2023 16:48

Are you on a first date?

WhileMyDishwasherGentlyWeeps · 30/09/2023 16:49

Therealjudgejudy · 30/09/2023 16:48

Are you on a first date?

Honeymoon.

finished31 · 30/09/2023 16:49

Onaboat7 · 30/09/2023 16:47

For those of you who don't believe me - here is said toilet.

Ok - I went - and scooped it out with my bare fucking hands, wrapped it in tissue and chucked it off the side. And watched it stubbornly float away.

My friend is not back yet. I have emptied and refilled the fucking toilet about ten times.

That's disgusting but hilarious in equal measures!

Poor 🐠

FuckingHellAdele · 30/09/2023 16:49

Onaboat7 · 30/09/2023 16:47

For those of you who don't believe me - here is said toilet.

Ok - I went - and scooped it out with my bare fucking hands, wrapped it in tissue and chucked it off the side. And watched it stubbornly float away.

My friend is not back yet. I have emptied and refilled the fucking toilet about ten times.

I'd high five you OP but...😬

I thought you might be waiting to do it earl-eye in the morrnin'

Multipleexclamationmarks · 30/09/2023 16:50

You chucked it over the side? Untreated waste into the water, eww!

Puffypuffin · 30/09/2023 16:50

Onaboat7 · 30/09/2023 16:47

For those of you who don't believe me - here is said toilet.

Ok - I went - and scooped it out with my bare fucking hands, wrapped it in tissue and chucked it off the side. And watched it stubbornly float away.

My friend is not back yet. I have emptied and refilled the fucking toilet about ten times.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

finished31 · 30/09/2023 16:50

Puffypuffin · 30/09/2023 16:48

You're going to have to do it in a bag and dispose of it later. You'll have to wrap it up in 450 layers of toilet paper and put it in 35 bags to stop the .. um .. aroma ...

That's even more hilarious

TerfTalking · 30/09/2023 16:50

Oh.

IcakethereforeIam · 30/09/2023 16:51

I have emptied and refilled the fucking toilet about ten times.

Jaysus, how badly did you need to go? 😲

ohdamnitjanet · 30/09/2023 16:51

Onaboat7 · 30/09/2023 16:47

For those of you who don't believe me - here is said toilet.

Ok - I went - and scooped it out with my bare fucking hands, wrapped it in tissue and chucked it off the side. And watched it stubbornly float away.

My friend is not back yet. I have emptied and refilled the fucking toilet about ten times.

I can feel your relief 😂 please tell us all if this is a date!

Puffypuffin · 30/09/2023 16:51

I'm intrigued by the earlier conversation when he told you that you weren't allowed to poo in his toilet.

liveforsummer · 30/09/2023 16:52

I bet he's away having a lengthy poo on a comfortable indoor toilet somewhere that he can flush 😅. Now that the issue is solved though can you tell us somemkre about why you are in this odd and slightly concerning situation in the first place 😬

MoiraRosesBaybay · 30/09/2023 16:52

So you didn’t go to the marina loo then? What does this mysterious person do when he needs to go.

QueSyrahSyrah · 30/09/2023 16:52

MoiraRosesBaybay · 30/09/2023 16:52

So you didn’t go to the marina loo then? What does this mysterious person do when he needs to go.

Fucks off somewhere in his dinghy, seemingly.

jays · 30/09/2023 16:53

Onaboat7 · 30/09/2023 16:16

To do it, tell him and hand him the poo

Show quote history

I good god! I’d go overboard! That can’t be a thing! Oh that’s awful! I’m having secondhand anxiety for you!

jays · 30/09/2023 16:53

Cartrouble1 · 30/09/2023 16:18

I don't even need a poo, but I'm considering going for one now, just because I can...

😂😂😂😂

DobbyTheHouseElk · 30/09/2023 16:55

But wait, he’s got loo paper. So he must poo in there.

lazymum99 · 30/09/2023 16:55

It sounds like the toilet has no holding tank and it goes straight in the water. So the etiquette would be not to go in the port. But you’ve chucked it overboard anyway!!

liveforsummer · 30/09/2023 16:56

DobbyTheHouseElk · 30/09/2023 16:55

But wait, he’s got loo paper. So he must poo in there.

Presumably that's for the people that do it then prepare to hand it to him 😅

BridgetJonesAsFuck · 30/09/2023 16:57

Can we all spare a thought for the poor cow who went for a shit in her first date's house then realised the toilet was broken so she fished out the turd, threw it out the window, it then got stuck and dropped into the two panes of glass where she attempted to climb in... retrieve it... and got stuck. After screaming for help First Date called the FIRE BRIGADE to get her out.

First Date asked to see her again. First Date was a keeper 👍

Google it. True story.

Could be worse OP!

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