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Original poster

sister furious at me and DD over DD's prank

296 replies

namechangedfri29 · 29/09/2023 14:50

I feel mortified and I don't know what to do or tell DSIS to try and make things better between us.

My DSIS' son is 18 years old and has recently started taking driving lessons. He's got a 10-year-old little sister.

My DD is also 18 years old and very close to DNephew.

My nephew has recently entered an online "raffle" type of competition in the hope of winning a car.

Now, here's the problem. My DD thought it would be funny to pull a prank on her cousin and offer her 10 year old cousin to join along.
From my understanding, they sent a text message from a what seems to be a fake number generated by an online app. The text message was sent to my nephew and congratulated him for winning the car and asked him to come get it from the raffle company's office as soon as possible.
It was only once they were about to go in the car that DD and my niece told them all about the joke.

My DSIS and BIL are now furious at their daughter, my daughter and myself.

OP posts:
EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 29/09/2023 16:57

That's not a "prank"

A water gun is a prank

This is calculated nastiness

starfishmummy · 29/09/2023 16:59

YourNameGoesHere · 29/09/2023 15:05

She's 18 and all you did was tell her off? Honestly I'm not surprised your sister is cross if you just told her off and she turned on the waterworks it's hardly a punishment.

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Well what is she supposed to do?

The OP.is not responsible for her ADULT daughters actions, and I'm not sure what other sanction would be appropriate. Naughty step perhaps??

Devilsmommy · 29/09/2023 16:59

SerafinasGoose · 29/09/2023 16:30

Self-flaggelation or crawling over a bank of hot coals, no doubt.

Otherwise, who knows? It's MN, after all ...

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🤭🤭🤭

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

10 year olds 18 years old Families
Daffodilsandtuplips · 29/09/2023 16:59

The one at fault is the 18 year old dd. Leave the 10 year old out of it, she’s too young to realise the far reaching effects of stupid pranks.

TastingSinister · 29/09/2023 17:02

JANEY205 · 29/09/2023 16:36

I’d be mortified if my child believed a text message about winning a car in a raffle without first doing more digging tbh. Sorry but speaks to low critical thinking skills on their behalf. It wasn’t a funny joke but him thinking it was real immediately is concerning isn’t it?

Seriously?

They bought a ticket for a raffle to win a car.

Then they got a message saying that they had won the raffle and the car was theirs. Where does the "low critical thinking" come into that?

Sounds like you think that they just received a random message about winning a car in a raffle that they hadn't entered in the first place.

Missingmyusername · 29/09/2023 17:03

If they’re all playing practical jokes on each other then it’s obviously going to get out of hand- and voila, it has. That’s the problem.

An apology and an end to practical jokes of any kind.

paddyclampofthethirdkind · 29/09/2023 17:03

I think it’s cruel. DD needs punishing I think.

But it’s not the OP’s fault

Buttoutofmywedding · 29/09/2023 17:05

Oh dear. It was just poor judgment. I suppose she was just gutted to see him so excited then feeling foolish.

I suspect you didn't react the way she hoped. Pranks are very risky. My bestie and her new boyfriend (that we don't know) played a 'prank' on me.

The problem was we never do pranks, I fell for it and my response was harmful to my business. Also I think there was an edge of malice driven by the new boyfriend (who I have my doubts about).

My DP found me distraught trying to undo the damage and rushed to my defence phoning the new boyfriend and demanding he come over and apologize.

This is where it all gets a bit murky. My friend apologised to me very sincerely but said my DP was being 'ridiculous'. I didn't like that at all.

Alstroemeria123 · 29/09/2023 17:06

paddyclampofthethirdkind · 29/09/2023 17:03

I think it’s cruel. DD needs punishing I think.

But it’s not the OP’s fault

How would you punish an 18 year old?

I’d stay out of it. Let DD and her cousin sort it out, and encourage your sister to do the same. It’s up to the cousin whether he wants to forgive your DD and what she needs to do to make it up to him.

Hotpinkangel19 · 29/09/2023 17:08

NeedMyDress · 29/09/2023 15:14

It's a cruel prank but not a huge deal they stopped him before he went to drive off. I actually think your sister and many of the posters on here are overreacting. No one was actually hurt!

I agree.It's not that bad, some posters are so dramatic.... furious, livid etc. 🙄

ThereIbledit · 29/09/2023 17:08

From what you've said your sister has said it doesn't sound as if she's mad at you, it sounds more like she was angry and ranting and you happened to be in the firing line rather than it being because she was angry at you personally.

As others have said, give it some time and space to cool down.

As for all the Judgey McJudgeyface people on mumsnet, 18 year olds make errors of judgement, shock horror. Their brains are still developing, they are still learning. Can none of you remember the things you did when you were that age? I was a mild teenager and goody two shoes and I can still remember making some awful choices that I look back and utterly cringe about. I'm pretty sure the thorough bollocking and uproar over this all will ensure that she doesn't make that mistake again.

Wouldyouguess · 29/09/2023 17:12

How is your daughter feeling about the shitty thing she had done? Apologising is one thing, but actually feeling sorry is another.

Notagains · 29/09/2023 17:18

MrsTerryPratchett · 29/09/2023 15:30

Empathy is partly innate, partly taught, and partly learned through practise. If the culture in your family is to be cruel and laugh at people, and the response to that is to be meaner and laugh harder, it's probably not a particularly empathetic place.

Laughing at people's embarrassment, unhappiness and hurt, which you caused, is the essence of cruelty.

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If she had pretended that something dreadful had happened to her or someone else then I can understand people's reactions. That would be completely unforgivable but she didn't she pretended he won a car which he hadn't horrible maybe but not terrible.
Also they regularly prank each other they probably compete with each other to pull the biggest prank. It wasn't done maliciously. Again if it had been that would be different. This seems to be the way they are with each other.
But even if she did go further this time than they normally do they are both adults and should sort it out between themselves. It really isn't anything to do with the mothers

WiddlinDiddlin · 29/09/2023 17:19

TruthSeeker2023 · 29/09/2023 15:06

I think the sister's family sound quite grabby and entitled if they think they deserve to win a car. Most people have to work hard to buy their cars.

What the actual fuck?

Who says they DID think they 'deserved' to win a car? Where is that in any of the OP's posts?

They entered a competition, giving them the chance to win a car, they deserve to win it as much as anyone else who enters.

NeedMyDress · 29/09/2023 17:19

If the sister had posted this everyone would be telling her to get a grip it's just a prank!

Xenatitus · 29/09/2023 17:20

NeedMyDress · 29/09/2023 17:19

If the sister had posted this everyone would be telling her to get a grip it's just a prank!

EXACTLY what I was thinking.

Oioicaptain · 29/09/2023 17:23

Well, I'm clearly in the minority here, but coming from a family of teasers, I don't think that what she did was terrible. Okay, so it backfired which can sometimes happen, but I don't think that your daughter is the monster that people are making her out to be. It sounds like it wasn't malicious and teasing is often a sign of affection. He will get over it. Your sister shouldn't be cross with you. Her son is 18. He can sort it out with your DD himself.

momtoboys · 29/09/2023 17:26

I don't know why she is angry at you, but that was an awful thing for your daughter to do. She is old enough to know better.

Wouldyouguess · 29/09/2023 17:28

Oioicaptain · 29/09/2023 17:23

Well, I'm clearly in the minority here, but coming from a family of teasers, I don't think that what she did was terrible. Okay, so it backfired which can sometimes happen, but I don't think that your daughter is the monster that people are making her out to be. It sounds like it wasn't malicious and teasing is often a sign of affection. He will get over it. Your sister shouldn't be cross with you. Her son is 18. He can sort it out with your DD himself.

But the difference is, if you all do it and all enjoy it, then I suppose it's not as bad.
Otherwise, it's bullying. For a 10 yo excusable, but a 18 yo doing 'pranks' like that is pretty sad.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 29/09/2023 17:29

With hindsight, you should have put a stop to their pranks years ago. Pranks are not funny.

GalileoHumpkins · 29/09/2023 17:34

TruthSeeker2023 · 29/09/2023 15:06

I think the sister's family sound quite grabby and entitled if they think they deserve to win a car. Most people have to work hard to buy their cars.

There's always one 🙄

Youthinkyoureuniqueyourejustastatistic · 29/09/2023 17:34

I think it’s hilarious and a very good life lesson for Nephew and family about scams and phishing and stuff.

How many eejits fall for Facebook raffles from E.g. “Tesco” when they’re nothing to do with the brand and everything to do with scamming.

Who would believe a text message saying you’d won a raffle was genuine- who would say “you won” over text and come to this address. Could be anything or anyone. (Fine if it was from the local church or something but not a business - surely you’d call a direct number and check before you left the house).

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/09/2023 17:35

Wouldyouguess · 29/09/2023 17:28

But the difference is, if you all do it and all enjoy it, then I suppose it's not as bad.
Otherwise, it's bullying. For a 10 yo excusable, but a 18 yo doing 'pranks' like that is pretty sad.

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But this is exactly the case. They both prank each other.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 29/09/2023 17:35

Hotpinkangel19 · 29/09/2023 17:08

I agree.It's not that bad, some posters are so dramatic.... furious, livid etc. 🙄

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It is nasty.

Both sister should have put a stop to the silly pranks years ago if they knew about them.

It was only a matter of time before something like this happened.

Pranks are nasty.

ttcat37 · 29/09/2023 17:39

Telling off your daughter is not a punishment. Your DSIS wants her to be as disappointed as your nephew was. Cancel a phone, special event, don’t pay for driving lessons, what does she have that means a lot to her? Take it away for a month or permanently. Learning not to take things too far is an important life lesson