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Original poster

Help my adult son is missing

297 replies

Aliceinunderland · 23/09/2023 21:47

My son is 23 and he has been missing since 11th September. I reported him missing the same day as it was out of character for him to miss work. He walked out of the house with nothing other than his bank card. His phone hasn't been turned on since the night he left.
So far I have:
Contacted all of his friends and contacts
Done a social media campaign
Battled with the police and filed two official complaints due to failures to investigate
Worked with missing people uk to do a media campaign
Handed out posters in the area that we have had one sighting. Unfortunately this is not our local area so it is difficult to go every day.

What else can I do? I've emailed and called every service I can find to share his photograph. Is there anything else anyone can suggest? I'm beyond devastated and will try anything at this point. Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
Sunshinenrain · 26/09/2023 06:44

I hope you hear something soon 💐

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 26/09/2023 11:04

I've shared on Twitter

Loopyloooooo · 26/09/2023 19:44

Bump xx

Munchyseeds2 · 26/09/2023 20:37

I really hope that you get some good news soon
Just to know he is OK at least x

itsamedicalmystery · 27/09/2023 20:12

Any news? Sending positive wishes.

QueenBitch666 · 27/09/2023 23:04

FB post shared in Cheshire. Sending hugs x

CherryCone · 28/09/2023 01:23

Giving this a bump in the hope it helps. I'm thinking of you OP. Flowers

cookiedoughdough · 28/09/2023 09:25

Little Bump for you Op Flowers
Is there any appeals on FB / Insta we can share?

Original poster
Aliceinunderland · 28/09/2023 15:23

Hello all,
There are no updates and no more possible sightings. I'm sorry I haven't been on here but I am struggling massively. I just don't understand how he can disappear. I flow from being positive to thinking the worst several times a day and we are just in an awful limbo not knowing how to move forward. I was waiting for the police to undertake further enquiries on his bank account but they don't seem to want to share any updates about that so I don't even know what area to target next. It's mentally and emotionally exhausting but I am also determined that in the future I will actively campaign to improve how the police deal with missing people and their families.

OP posts:
CherryCone · 28/09/2023 15:27

@Aliceinunderland I'm so, so sorry there's been no more sightings or leads, and you are essentially being left out of any investigation by the police. What an utterly devastating thing you're going through.

Thank you for updating, I hope that you can get a tiny bit of comfort from us being here to support you. Do feel free to vent or offload or whatever you need.

Mummy2mybear · 28/09/2023 15:32

Just read the thread im so sorry you are going through this OP will follow 💐💐

Lwrenagain · 28/09/2023 15:38

Oh @Aliceinunderland I've kept you in my thoughts and asked those of my friends who prayer to pray for you.

I'm based in Merseyside so if you want anything sharing up this way please let me know.

Sending you love and support, more than anything I hope you get positive news about your darling son soon. 💐💐💐

Original poster
Aliceinunderland · 28/09/2023 19:07

Well it's funny how things change in a heartbeat. The police have found him and say he's safe and well. Unfortunately he doesn't feel able to come home at the moment.

I am both happy and heart broken at the same time. I am so relieved that he has been found safe but devastated to hear that he doesn't want to come back to his family. I can't help but feel like such a failure as a mum that he feels like he needs to be away from us at the moment. But he remains my priority and the officer did say he would pass on my message to him which was simply I love him and am here for him whenever he wants to reach out. Thank you so much for all the support I found on here at the darkest time in my life.

OP posts:
Charliecatpaws · 28/09/2023 19:09

I'm so glad that he's been found safe. Give him time a he should be ready to face you soon.

NotInGuatemalaNowDrRopata · 28/09/2023 19:10

I am so, so delighted for you that you can heave a sigh of relief that the worst hasn't happened, while at the same time broken-hearted that he's not up to being with his mum. I'm sure you'll be hearing from him soon, op, and I hope he finds the help he needs. x

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 28/09/2023 19:12

Yay!

Don't take it to heart

He maybe feels embarrassed
Or he's done something he is struggling to admit to etc

He's safe that's the main thing

JaneJeffer · 28/09/2023 19:13

Delighted to hear this. Please don't be hard on yourself, everyone can see how you are far from a failure Flowers

SpringViolet · 28/09/2023 19:15

__@Aliceinunderland Oh thank goodness! So happy you know he’s safe. Please don’t feel like a failure because he doesn’t want to come home. It could be that he feels he’s let you down, feels embarrassed etc, obviously unwarrantedly and hopefully he’ll contact you soon.

Clarice99 · 28/09/2023 19:16

I'm pleased to read your son has been found.

You sound so lovely and supportive, and I sincerely hope that your son has a change of heart and comes home 🌻

Willmafrockfit · 28/09/2023 19:17

take care @Aliceinunderland
so relieved for you he has been found

LulooLemon · 28/09/2023 19:21

Great news OP

beeeeeeez · 28/09/2023 19:29

Changed name as this is outing, buzz buzz!

Same thing happened to me, pretty much to the letter.
Haven't seen him for over a year.

It's really bloody tough - a bit like a death, but without the closure.
Don't tough it out like I have. Get counselling. You're going through a traumatic time.

Don't know if your situation came out of a clear blue sky, but mine certainly did.

Mine has gone and restarted his life without any of his family or friends. Done a complete vanish and reinvent. He's occasionally now in touch with a sibling, but the sib doesn't want to share too much in case he stops talking . Arrgghh?

Hugest empathy and much love.
Bzzzz

quietheart · 28/09/2023 19:31

@Aliceinunderland First of all I’m pleased your DS has been found safe and well.

My DH has severe mental health illness. There are times when he just wants to disappear. It’s no reflection on me, it is because he is unable to cope with what is inside his own head.

He has disappeared before, I know that panic and it’s really unfair on us, it feels selfish and cruel. I’m not going into detail but I have learnt not to analyse or ask too many questions afterwards, it puts pressure on him which he doesn’t need at that time.

We are not failures, it is more about them than us, but we always think could we have done something different.

Im not comparing a son disappearing to a husband, a child is so much more traumatic. Perhaps you could access some counselling?

Sending you strength and an unmumsnetty hug 🫂

dextersontopofhiskennel · 28/09/2023 19:38

Oh my lovely, I've been watching this as I'm not too far from you.
So glad he's been found safe and well, I hope soon he will feel able to contact you.
I can't begin to imagine the new emotions that must be flowing through you now.
Will be thinking of you.

Silkiebunny · 28/09/2023 19:48

So glad he's been found safe and well. You sound like a lovely caring Mum, he's unwell and please don't take it to heart.

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