Help my adult son is missing

[Aliceinunderland]

My son is 23 and he has been missing since 11th September. I reported him missing the same day as it was out of character for him to miss work. He walked out of the house with nothing other than his bank card. His phone hasn't been turned on since the night he left.
So far I have:
Contacted all of his friends and contacts
Done a social media campaign
Battled with the police and filed two official complaints due to failures to investigate
Worked with missing people uk to do a media campaign
Handed out posters in the area that we have had one sighting. Unfortunately this is not our local area so it is difficult to go every day.

What else can I do? I've emailed and called every service I can find to share his photograph. Is there anything else anyone can suggest? I'm beyond devastated and will try anything at this point. Thank you for reading.

I’ve looked at your fb page. What’s with the post about him possibly moving north, going through Mansfield, etc? Is that still a possibility? Or do you think he’s stayed in Luton?

North? Can you say whereabouts? Pleased police are finally helping you. Hope you get good news soon.

Do you have a WiFi router that you can check browsing history on?

Hope your DS is found as soon as possible. What an absolute worry. Thinking of you ❤️

I really hope you find him, OP. I'm in the SE and will definitely keep an eye out x

Try not to get too fixated on Luton if it was just one report and they couldn't remember where. It could have been someone else.
You mention his brother, was he living with him?

There is a direct Thameslink train from Medway to Luton. You've made a very good point.

This is an excellent suggestion.
Hope you find your son soon, OP, and it’s heartwarming to see all the help offered.

Also, OP, did you che k with the Estate Agent that the deposit had been returned?

My first thought when you said he's been sighted in Luton was to sign-point you to NOAH, but I see others have already suggested them.

You could also try Luton Street Pastors - Home - Luton Street Pastors

I hope you get some positive news soon- I cannot imagine how frantic you must be.

I have shared the Kent police post on FB groups that I know have good interaction and high engagement rates. They are Essex and Herts groups.

I can’t imagine what you are going through.

Is the Luton sighting confirmed as him?

I can only offer up probably the same suggestions as others; ask for local radio appeals, contact homeless shelters, FB, Twitter (X), tik tok, leaflet, ask for people to check ring door bells, CCTV. Tag and share on social media.

Missing children (of any age) is an unbearable heartache 💔
Can you get posters out to service stations/truck stops around where he last seen incase he is hitchhiking?
I'm sorry to hear the police have not been as helpful as you need them to be. Keep nipping their heels, go above the head of the person you are dealing with if you can. It might not make you popular but knowing your son is safe is more important.

Now his picture is out there I think it’s likely his dad will see it so it may be best to warn him rather than him have a shock?

Is Luton between your home and his dads? Long shot if they don’t get on but worth thinking about?

Have you put an appeal on fb pages etc for your old area in case he has gone back there?

I have a relative living near Luton and they often get posts on Facebook about missing young people. Or posters in local shops.

You should try contacting local police where he was last seen, or joining a Facebook group for Luton area and posting on there.

That sounds terrifying and I am sorry you are going through this.

Just wanted to say perhaps the police isn't being useless, but have actually found him and can't tell you. I used to work at a similar emergency centre and quite often we would get told about missing people, try and find them, find them, not be given permission to share this info back, and we were not even, for privacy reasons, allowed to communicate back they were safe and sound (or not safe and sound) or that we had spoken to them. I am sure a lot of people thought we were useless but our instructions and the law were extremely clear!

Hope you find him soon.

I hope you manage to locate him. I can imagine how hard it must be not knowing where he is or if he’s safe. I hope if he’s suffering with his mental health he manages to reach out to someone for help. Keep putting up posters (pubs, bars, cafes and clubs are a good place to put up posters).

So perhaps ask the police (their head of department if you don't trust the individual agents), if they had found him and he didn't want to speak to you, would you be told this or would you not be told.

The police can tell her if he’s been found, they would just not say where he is (if that’s what he chose), I’m sure they wouldn’t leave a mother wondering wether her son is safe?

Have you tried logging into his tik tok account? Do you know his email address? Could you guess his password? He'd need the email address to set up tik tok and other accounts. My ds doesn't go on pc but I've seen his phone he has Discord, Tik Tok, Telegram. So although he doesn't use Facebook or Instagram if he's on his phone alot it's likely he's on some form of social media you don't know about.

@Lovemusic82 well that's what I would encourage her to check, because in my experience, and depending on what the son has said, maybe not?

I am not in the UK but very similar country and I work a lot with international (Western European) colleagues/countries and they all have similar legislation and data protection as far as I am aware.

Not saying that I think that's fair or anything, by the way, just mentioning it as it's something that always surprises people about my job and she might want to double check with the police that they WOULD in fact tell her.

You say in your post on the Facebook page that he’s more than likely to be going up North, maybe he’s in contact with his dad??

Sorry if this has been asked before, but have you been round to all the rough sleeper/homeless charities in Luton? Have you spoken to rough sleepers on the street? Did he have any cash on him? Could he have purchased a sleeping bag anywhere in Luton or a tent? Could you go into shops that sell camping equipment and talk to staff? You can ask owners if they can check their CCTV or if you can. Rather than asking members of the public, have you asked shop, cafe or bar workers to keep an eye out or others who work in the area and will be there daily?

Why would a southern boy with a very local life be headed up north, unless its to see his dad up there?

Is the Northern travel an established fact? How do you have this information and how has it changed now? If the northern angle is no longer being explored then I think you need to start thinking about southern hubs where a boy looking to walk out of his life would be heading to. London is the obvious choice for somebody who wants to disappear, but think of Brighton too: lots of drifters wash up there.

Do you think he's hopped on the train from Kent through to Luton? Sounds like you have the social media links covered. Might it be worth asking Three Counties radio to put out an appeal with his description?

So sorry you are going thru this. I have no advice but I am sending you good vibes. I hope he is found soon.