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Original poster

Should I tell our neighbour we can see her through the window?

259 replies

sendinganangel · 07/09/2023 09:01

So often when I go up to get my daughter sorted in her room, my neighbour is visible from what I assume is her room.

She has 2 young children of her own for context

My daughter is 4 and said this morning 'look mummy, the neighbour lady has her boobies out' Grin

Would you tell your neighbour you can see them? Do you think she knows this and just isn't putting curtails up

I and my husband have also seen her in the evenings, when we've put the bin out or something... she will be standing there at her sink washing up and appears completely naked... definitely topless

We live across from her so can see in

OP posts:
minipie · 07/09/2023 14:39

Tbh my neighbours may have seen me a bit naked when I come out the en-suite and forget to put the shutters down in the bedroom etc. but I just don’t really care when I’m super busy and just feel lucky to be getting a shower in

Same here. If I’m in a hurry (which I usually am when dressing) I’m not going to take time to shut the curtains just in case a 4 year old sees my boobs. They’re just boobs.

Why not teach your kids that boobs are no big deal - they’ll probably see someone sunbathing topless at some point after all.

The law on flashing makes it clear you have to have intent to distress. That’s not the same as being told by your neighbour that they find it distressing, and carrying on anyway - causing distress is still not your intention. And yeah, boobs aren’t genitals.

shearwater · 07/09/2023 14:39

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 14:35

Also. Legally I’d have to flash someone INTENDING for them to see. To cause distress.

here’s an example.

If I stood naked at my door, is it classed as public indecency?

Hello, so me and my partner have had a debate about whether it would class as public indecency or not. We aren’t planning on doing it fyi, just curious if so we were to answer the door and people saw us stood there naked but we were in our home, is it a criminal offence?

There is no offence specifically called "public indecency" in English law (and in this answer I assume you are talking about English or Welsh law; a different criminal law applies in Scotland, and another in Northern Ireland). We have a few close analogues which I'll discuss below.

The answer to your question is: probably not, depending on your intention. Nudism is not illegal per se in England and Wales.

The first is the offence of "exposure", under section 66 of the Sexual Offences Act 2003. This offence is committed when you:

• intentionally expose your genitals, and
• intend that someone will see them and be caused alarm or distress.

If you intentionally expose your genitals intending that someone will see them, but without intending to cause alarm or distress, then the offence is not complete. Essentially: this offence prohibits "flashing", but not nudism.

If you also intend that the person to whom you open the door will be caused alarm or distress, then the offence is complete.

Important to note is that the offence does not require you to derive sexual gratification from the exposure (though that is why most people do it), and also that this offence can occur in any place, public or private.

The second is the offence of "outraging public decency", under common law (meaning it's not actually written down in law, it's developed by the courts many many years ago and has just stuck around). This offence is committed when you:

• do an act which is of a lewd, obscene and disgusting nature, and which is capable of seriously offending the public's sense of decency;
• in a place where there is a real danger that members of the general public might witness it; and
• in a place and in circumstances where at least two other people could see the act in question, even if they don't

In this case, I don't think that merely "being naked" is lewd, obscene and disgusting. If you masturbated, for example, then that would probably qualify.

You may be interested in reading the guidance produced by the College of Policing (the professional body for policing in England and Wales) on policing public nudity.

Show quote history

Again, you said if your were naked, the neighbour could see you, you knew they could see you and were distressed by it, you wouldn't stop.

That sounds pretty intentional to me.

UnctuousUnicorns · 07/09/2023 14:39

"peeping neighbours"

God forbid that someone should look out of their window. Best ban them (windows) altogether, to be on the safe side.

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 14:42

shearwater · 07/09/2023 14:37

I was specifically referring to you, not the neighbour in the OP. You stated you were naked in the house and would not stop doing this even if a neighbour saw you and you knew it upset them. That would be a sexual offence.

Show quote history

If I intend to distress someone. The law is correct

however walking round my own home not INTENDING to distress someone. That’s different

in a court room that is key.

for example

Depends on your intent, actually. The Sexual Offences Act 2003 says regarding "Exposure": A person commits an offence if—

• (a) he intentionally exposes his genitals, and
• (b) he intends that someone will see them and be caused alarm or distress.

(The word "he" does not restrict this law to males, just in case anyone's looking for a loophole.)

So you basically get one freebie unless, say, you post on Reddit that you're preparing to stand naked at your door to cause alarm and distress. (You've kind of bollixed up your one opportunity here since this post can be given in evidence against you should the occasion arise.) If someone complains, the local constabulary may drop by and ask you to cover up and not do it again. At that point, you're on notice that a) you can be seen from that vantage, and b) the sight causes alarm or distress. After that it's easier to prosecute you on the grounds that you intentionally disregarded the warning and therefore your self-exposure cannot be considered accidental or innocent.

and again another example

There’s a difference between being causally naked inside your house (observers can just look away if they don’t want to see it), versus answering the door to someone whilst being naked (the person at the door is presumably there for a reason and can’t just leave without accomplishing the thing they came for). Which is not to say that the latter is definitely illegal, but on a common sense basis it’s rather more likely to be illegal than the former.

HotWaxToTheMax · 07/09/2023 14:42

I used to live opposite an escort. She had no blinds or nets and dgaf. Sometimes they didn't have time to shut the front door and would copulate on the stairs.
Even in the garden.
I'd be fine seeing tits.
Do your children see yours? Would make for an easier conversation with children.
I'd leave her to it

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 14:44

shearwater · 07/09/2023 14:39

Again, you said if your were naked, the neighbour could see you, you knew they could see you and were distressed by it, you wouldn't stop.

That sounds pretty intentional to me.

Show quote history

Nope. Wrong again

if I walked to their house naked then yes it could be caused for distress

however legally in my own home they would just get told to look away

shearwater · 07/09/2023 14:45

Nope. I wouldn’t stop regardless of who found it unsettling.

it’s my own home and Iove walking round mine naked. I spend a lot of time on my body and I’m proud of it!

Was your quote, @Cerealkillerontheloose

Naked means completely nude, so exposing genitals.

In the above situation you would be committing an offence.

shearwater · 07/09/2023 14:46

however legally in my own home they would just get told to look away

No they wouldn't.

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 14:47

shearwater · 07/09/2023 14:45

Nope. I wouldn’t stop regardless of who found it unsettling.

it’s my own home and Iove walking round mine naked. I spend a lot of time on my body and I’m proud of it!

Was your quote, @Cerealkillerontheloose

Naked means completely nude, so exposing genitals.

In the above situation you would be committing an offence.

Nope. Legally you’re jncorrect

find me a court case vs that shows someone was done for being naked in their own home without intending for others to see.

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 14:48

shearwater · 07/09/2023 14:46

however legally in my own home they would just get told to look away

No they wouldn't.

They would!

hahahaha. You’re totally wrong.

I can’t wait to tell this at work 😂😂😂

Anyway OP. I would just have a chat and say some people do that!

user9630721458 · 07/09/2023 14:49

Gawd, it's so hot I thought everyone was walking round their house naked. Still got to do the dishes, though. Will pop an apron on next time and try not to turn around.

LakieLady · 07/09/2023 14:50

I'm a bit surprised that so many people think tits should be hidden except for when breastfeeding.

People get their tits out on beaches all along the south coast, not just on nudist beaches, and I've never seen anyone bothered by it. Would you stop taking your kids to the beach for fear that might get a glimpse of someone's norks?

If someone wants to do their washing up topless because it's over 30 degrees and bloody boiling, I really can't see anything wrong with it.

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 14:51

Oh look

and again…..

Should I tell our neighbour we can see her through the window?
Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 14:52

Oh and again!

Should I tell our neighbour we can see her through the window?
shearwater · 07/09/2023 14:53

Yeah, Quora is so much more reliable than law firms I find @Cerealkillerontheloose

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 14:56

shearwater · 07/09/2023 14:50

Here's some free legal advice @Cerealkillerontheloose

Better keep that number handy.

https://www.jdspicer.co.uk/site/blog/crime-fraud/uk-indecent-exposure-laws-a-guide

No formal records of magistrate's court hearings are kept. Might be reported in your local paper if you're unlucky though.

Oh my god 😂😂😂😂😂😂

brilliant! Oh you beaury

whay you JUST posted it said this

Examples could include:

  • Someone ‘flashing’ their genitals while out in public
  • Streaking at a public sports game (such as a football match)
  • Masturbating in public (a serious case of indecent exposure)

being naked doing the washing up in your own home is none of those 😂😂😂

nothing you just posted even really relates to tjis

its not in public….

it’s not naturism…..

iTs not any of the above

are you sure you read what you posted?!? 😂😂

oh. Brilliant

well this has been fun. Have a great day.

and OP. Not a lot you can do because it’s in her own home. If it distresses you I would just look away.

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 07/09/2023 14:56

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 14:52

Oh and again!

The third paragraph of that quote actually says you’re wrong?

It specifically says if you do it regularly and your neighbours complain enough, “the authorities might take action”?

shearwater · 07/09/2023 14:59

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 14:52

Oh and again!

Might want to read your article again as you've just been hoist by your own petard.

An occupational hazard for flashers, perhaps.

"If the nudity becomes a regularity and your neighbours complain to the cops though, the authorities may take action against you."

Again, you said that you don't care if you are naked, your neighbours see and tell me they can see you and are upset by it. You would laugh and carry on.

At that point you would be committing an offence.

shearwater · 07/09/2023 15:00

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 07/09/2023 14:56

The third paragraph of that quote actually says you’re wrong?

It specifically says if you do it regularly and your neighbours complain enough, “the authorities might take action”?

Edited
Show quote history

No, the third paragraph says YOU are wrong.

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 15:01

shearwater · 07/09/2023 14:59

Might want to read your article again as you've just been hoist by your own petard.

An occupational hazard for flashers, perhaps.

"If the nudity becomes a regularity and your neighbours complain to the cops though, the authorities may take action against you."

Again, you said that you don't care if you are naked, your neighbours see and tell me they can see you and are upset by it. You would laugh and carry on.

At that point you would be committing an offence.

Show quote history

As long as there is no INTENT

causinf and INTENDING are two different things

in the uk law you need to prove for the above the intent

again causing and intending is different

you also haven’t shown me a court case. Show me a court case

shearwater · 07/09/2023 15:02

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 14:56

Oh my god 😂😂😂😂😂😂

brilliant! Oh you beaury

whay you JUST posted it said this

Examples could include:

  • Someone ‘flashing’ their genitals while out in public
  • Streaking at a public sports game (such as a football match)
  • Masturbating in public (a serious case of indecent exposure)

being naked doing the washing up in your own home is none of those 😂😂😂

nothing you just posted even really relates to tjis

its not in public….

it’s not naturism…..

iTs not any of the above

are you sure you read what you posted?!? 😂😂

oh. Brilliant

well this has been fun. Have a great day.

and OP. Not a lot you can do because it’s in her own home. If it distresses you I would just look away.

Show quote history

Read the rest of the article about committing the offence in your own home.

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 15:02

shearwater · 07/09/2023 15:00

No, the third paragraph says YOU are wrong.

Edited
Show quote history

Show me a court case

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 15:03

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 07/09/2023 14:56

The third paragraph of that quote actually says you’re wrong?

It specifically says if you do it regularly and your neighbours complain enough, “the authorities might take action”?

Edited
Show quote history

You still need intent.