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Original poster

Should I tell our neighbour we can see her through the window?

259 replies

sendinganangel · 07/09/2023 09:01

So often when I go up to get my daughter sorted in her room, my neighbour is visible from what I assume is her room.

She has 2 young children of her own for context

My daughter is 4 and said this morning 'look mummy, the neighbour lady has her boobies out' Grin

Would you tell your neighbour you can see them? Do you think she knows this and just isn't putting curtails up

I and my husband have also seen her in the evenings, when we've put the bin out or something... she will be standing there at her sink washing up and appears completely naked... definitely topless

We live across from her so can see in

OP posts:
Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 15:04

Can you be charged for indecent exposure in your own home?Many people, understandably, question whether it is possible to be guilty of committing indecent exposure in your own home. The answer to that question is heavily context dependent and centres around the issue of intent.
For instance, it is usually possible to tell if someone is able to clearly see into your home. So, if someone intentionally performs certain actions and/or certain interactions without any clothing, they could be liable to face an indecent exposure charge.
On the other hand, if someone unintentionally exposes themselves, such as if they are getting changed, this may not be sufficient enough to warrant bringing forward an indecent exposure charge

you need intent. This is what I’ve been saying.

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 07/09/2023 15:07

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 15:03

You still need intent.

Show quote history

If it can be proved you knew your actions were causing distress (the notification) and you continue said actions (walking around naked), it is open to the magistrates / jury to infer that by doing an action you knew caused distress, you intended such distress to be caused.

You would have to give evidence to the contrary in a trial if it got that far.

The prosecution would have to prove the intent beyond reasonable doubt as with most criminal cases.

shearwater · 07/09/2023 15:07

Cerealkillerontheloose · 07/09/2023 15:01

As long as there is no INTENT

causinf and INTENDING are two different things

in the uk law you need to prove for the above the intent

again causing and intending is different

you also haven’t shown me a court case. Show me a court case

Show quote history
  • Magistrates court proceedings are not officially recorded. I already said this.
  • I am a lawyer, my reading comprehension is excellent.
  • In the situation repeated several times in my posts you would be demonstrating intent.
  • Maybe just admit you are wrong on the internet.
  • Failing that, maybe quietly take the advice you've been given and prevent yourself from becoming a sex offender.
CrabbiesGingerBeer · 07/09/2023 15:10

shearwater · 07/09/2023 15:00

No, the third paragraph says YOU are wrong.

Edited
Show quote history

Wrong in suggesting that article suggests in the third paragraph @Cerealkillerontheloose (as quoted) is wrong? You’ve reversed your position pretty fast!

FarEast · 07/09/2023 15:58

Why don’t you close your curtains instead of policing what someone else does in her own home.

LookingForPurpose · 07/09/2023 16:16

"You wouldn't cover up if you knew a neighbour could see you and found it unsettling?"

Seriously? You would want me to put clothes on in my own house to protect your eyes? Why don't YOU just put net curtains up? Or teach your kiddo it's not nice to look into other people's windows?

OhmygodDont · 07/09/2023 16:20

Started reading this going shit my
neighbours moaning I was sunbathing topless today but it’s not me haha. Not that it would stop me mind.

shearwater · 07/09/2023 16:47

"You wouldn't cover up if you knew a neighbour could see you and found it unsettling?"

Seriously? You would want me to put clothes on in my own house to protect your eyes? Why don't YOU just put net curtains up? Or teach your kiddo it's not nice to look into other people's windows?

How about having some consideration for your neighbours? Or putting some curtains or a blind up at the window and drawing it like everyone else when you get changed if you know other people can see in? Or living somewhere where you can't be seen when you walk about naked?

I've absolutely no problem with people being naked in their own home. I've walked around naked myself when I was just DH and I, the curtains were drawn and we were not directly overlooked, and also when the kids were small and didn't mind. Now they are older and absolutely would mind I don't do it. Though as I said earlier, I think the OP's neighbour is inconsiderate at best, doing it on purpose at worse.

What I have a problem with is people committing indecent exposure in their own homes. I do have a problem with more than one poster on this thread doing that and promoting committing a sexual offence, saying they don't give a shit if the neighbours see them walking round naked, tell them they are upset by it, and would continue to walk round naked even after being told, they work hard on their bodies and want to show them off whether or not the neighbours like it or not. "Minor" sexual offences are not funny, often escalate and should not be promoted on Mumsnet.

FictionalCharacter · 07/09/2023 16:51

SpamPie · 07/09/2023 09:05

Change your WiFi name to 'We Can See Your Tits'

I might do this even though I don’t have any bare-titled neighbours 😬

justteanbiscuits · 07/09/2023 17:13

@shearwater Are you suggesting people walking around naked in their own home - not fondling themselves, not masturbating - is a sexual offence??

Why should I keep my curtains closed when it's you offended? Why you can't keep your curtains closed if breasts offend you?

Samlewis96 · 07/09/2023 17:41

sendinganangel · 07/09/2023 09:15

I guess my next question is, what if she doesn't care or refuses to put up any blinds etc?

It's not very nice having a child see her and be caught off guard by the local naked lady

Why is it not nice for a child to see? It's only a body - we all have them

minipie · 07/09/2023 17:43

I’m willing to bet the 4 year old doesn’t give a monkeys. It’s the adult who has the problem with it.

Sayitaintso33 · 07/09/2023 17:47

WaxhamSeals · 07/09/2023 09:46

It’s not flashing if all you can see is her boobs. Would you have a problem with a topless man washing up?

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If a woman was touched on her breasts I would normally expect the perpetrator to be charged with sexual assault, if a man was touched on his chest I wouldn't normally expect a sexual assault charge.

Samlewis96 · 07/09/2023 18:01

shearwater · 07/09/2023 14:28

@Cerealkillerontheloose If someone could see you and you knew it caused them distress, in the UK you would be committing an offence.

The Sexual Offences Act 2003 provides a clear definition of what indecent exposure is in the UK. Indecent exposure is an offence where:

  • A person intentionally exposes their genitals, and
  • They intend for someone to see them and be caused alarm or distress
It is important to note that both parts of the offence feature specific intent. If someone has accidentally exposed their genitals, this is not considered to be indecent exposure.

It's fine to walk naked round the house if no-one outside can see you and no-one else in the house is bothered about it.

But once you know, and that it causes distress, it moves to an offence.

Show quote history

No one has seen genitals though. Just breasts

shearwater · 07/09/2023 18:47

Samlewis96 · 07/09/2023 18:01

No one has seen genitals though. Just breasts

Show quote history

That poster was one of the ones say that they would walking around naked knowing neighbours could see them and were upset by it, and would find it funny.

shearwater · 07/09/2023 18:48

justteanbiscuits · 07/09/2023 17:13

@shearwater Are you suggesting people walking around naked in their own home - not fondling themselves, not masturbating - is a sexual offence??

Why should I keep my curtains closed when it's you offended? Why you can't keep your curtains closed if breasts offend you?

No I'm not. HTH.

Gumptionesque · 07/09/2023 18:52

You wouldn't cover up if you knew a neighbour could see you and found it unsettling?

No I wouldn’t, I’d think it was ok for me to dress as I please in my own home. I’d suggest you put your own blinds up.

ladeluge · 07/09/2023 19:10

Settle down folks, she's wearing one of those funny aprons that have a naked body imprinted on them. They can look so real, I know, my sister opened the front door to us wearing one last Halloween. We gulped for a few seconds....

Lorieandrews · 07/09/2023 20:42

shearwater · 07/09/2023 18:47

That poster was one of the ones say that they would walking around naked knowing neighbours could see them and were upset by it, and would find it funny.

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I re read the thread. Sorry that poster didn’t find it funny. Someone else posted it saying she’d get a note and laugh….

Lorieandrews · 07/09/2023 20:45

Gumptionesque · 07/09/2023 18:52

You wouldn't cover up if you knew a neighbour could see you and found it unsettling?

No I wouldn’t, I’d think it was ok for me to dress as I please in my own home. I’d suggest you put your own blinds up.

To be fair I think it wouldn’t bother me to see one of my neighbours naked, if my child said anything I would tell them yep some people are naked in their own homes and some don’t mind everyone seeing and that it’s ok and we should be proud of the human body for being incredible as breasts feed babies and all sorts

someone before I think posted that we should love people as they are and I think that’s a great sentiment

DottyLottieLou · 07/09/2023 20:45

Get the kids to shout out" look mum its the lady with the bare boobies" when she's in hearing.

Vitriolinsanity · 07/09/2023 21:04

Give DM a ring, she'll be round to pop some nets up.

Doyouknowtheway · 07/09/2023 21:59

Has no one heard the saying "windows are for looking out of not into".

ZadocPDederick · 07/09/2023 23:32

CrabbiesGingerBeer · 07/09/2023 10:53

Which is why I said if asked to stop and continuing to do it.

It is very arguable there is no ‘alarm or distress’ if the naked person doesn’t know they can be seen.

Once they’ve been specifically told ‘what you are doing is upsetting me’, it’s harder to argue you had no idea you were upsetting someone.

Show quote history

"You're upsetting me" doesn't necessarily equate to alarm and distress, and the test is not a subjective one. Further, it's quite difficult to claim you are distressed if you take no steps to avoid looking at the naked person. In this case OP and her family seem to be looking quite deliberately into the neighbour's bedroom where they could simply draw their own curtains, so I doubt that the CPS would want to rely on them as witnesses.

Asyousayit · 08/09/2023 00:09

I was at my ex partners house and there was a young girl opposite, her garden backed onto his and she hadn't grasped the concept of curtains. Him and his brothers perved on her alot 🤢. One day I posted a note simply saying 'I live behind your property, there is a young lady in your house that is in various states of undress on regular occasions infront of her window and has been on multiple occasions. I thought I'd better inform you' and I simply signed off saying 'a concerned woman' I didn't give an address or name. But it never happened again.