Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Sunbathing topless, partner upset with me

99 replies

Fairyhouses · 05/09/2023 21:36

Rang me on video call and I answered, was topless in my garden. I have neighbours however our fences are high and we all keep to ourselves-it would be VERY unusual for one of them to look over the fence for any reason, we never do that.

DP was annoyed and upset and told me my across the road neighbour could see if he was upstairs (there's a humongous tree in the way so no!) and that I shouldn't' do it ever. Wouldn't continue talking to me until I put my bikini top back on.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
DrunkAtVogue · 05/09/2023 21:37

Is he controlling?

InterFactual · 05/09/2023 21:41

DrunkAtVogue · 05/09/2023 21:37

Is he controlling?

Classic Mumsnet.

Sandrine1982 · 05/09/2023 21:45

My ex was controlling like this. He's now my ex :)

Autieangel · 05/09/2023 21:47

Your body your choice

UndercoverCop · 05/09/2023 21:50

I'd feel weird sunbathing topless in my garden, mainly because of neighbours etc, fine with strangers!
But you're not me and if you are comfortable, he has no right to police your body.

legalseagull · 05/09/2023 21:51

So what if they can see - they're only tits. Tell him to get a grip.

Original poster
Fairyhouses · 05/09/2023 22:03

Thanks all and no, not controlling at all usually! Doesn't police what I do at all. Is very shy body-wise though and doesn't like that I'm more open, I'll get changed in front of close friends etc which DP finds quite shocking.

@legalseagull that's exactly how I feel! 😂Even if someone from across the road could see my tits breasts, so what? They'd not see a right lot at that distance and I'm sure they've seen a topless female before.

OP posts:
Pedallleur · 05/09/2023 22:04

legalseagull · 05/09/2023 21:51

So what if they can see - they're only tits. Tell him to get a grip.

Perhaps these are different/special ones to the tits that can be viewed on the internet or on holiday.

Original poster
Fairyhouses · 05/09/2023 22:07

@Pedallleur yes, that'll be it of course (very average, if a little saggier than I'd like)!

OP posts:
moragmafs · 05/09/2023 22:07

Can they not see you from looking out their back window?

I think it's acceptable that your husband doesn't want you to be topless in the garden. Ask him why.

foolishone · 05/09/2023 22:10

moragmafs · 05/09/2023 22:07

Can they not see you from looking out their back window?

I think it's acceptable that your husband doesn't want you to be topless in the garden. Ask him why.

Why is it acceptable? If he doesn't want to sunbathe topless, he doesn't have to. It's none of his business whether his partner does.

Original poster
Fairyhouses · 05/09/2023 22:12

@moragmafs he said he doesn't want people perving on me. My two immediate neighbours are both straight females (well one is married but her husband was out) so I doubt they would do that.

OP posts:
DrFosterWentToGloucester23 · 05/09/2023 22:12

Your tits, your rules, hun.

Inyournightgarden · 05/09/2023 22:17

I think this is one of those threads that needs a pic to prove it

WhateverMate · 05/09/2023 22:21

DrFosterWentToGloucester23 · 05/09/2023 22:12

Your tits, your rules, hun.

😂😂😂

Gnomegnomegnome · 05/09/2023 22:23

moragmafs · 05/09/2023 22:07

Can they not see you from looking out their back window?

I think it's acceptable that your husband doesn't want you to be topless in the garden. Ask him why.

Why is it acceptable?

It isn’t his body.
He doesn’t own op’s body.
He has no right to dictate what op does with her body.
He wouldn’t talk to her unless she put a bikini top on! What a twat.

TicTacNicNak · 05/09/2023 22:25

My thought is that I wouldn't want to be with someone who thought they could dictate what I could or couldn't do in my own garden.

Original poster
Fairyhouses · 05/09/2023 22:29

@DrFosterWentToGloucester23 @Inyournightgarden
I charge for photos, make me an offer 😂

Some good points though, I don't think I'd ever 'police' what someoen does with their body but then I am liberal with nudity generally.

OP posts:
PlipPlopChoo · 05/09/2023 22:30

He needs to get over this. It is your decision.

I take it you would be fine if he joined you and lay there with his knob out though?

moragmafs · 05/09/2023 22:31

@Gnomegnomegnome because they are in a relationship,

moragmafs · 05/09/2023 22:31

It's ok to take your husbands opinion into consideration.

Having your boobs out in the back garden - he's not comfortable with that.

So talk to him.

BringMeTea · 05/09/2023 22:32

100% not his business!

moragmafs · 05/09/2023 22:33

Fairyhouses · 05/09/2023 22:12

@moragmafs he said he doesn't want people perving on me. My two immediate neighbours are both straight females (well one is married but her husband was out) so I doubt they would do that.

Yes nothing wrong with him not wanting others to see your nipples.

I assume he doesn't say anything about what you wear out and about?

Cowlover89 · 05/09/2023 22:35

Tell him to get over it. Your body

TomatoSandwiches · 05/09/2023 22:36

Does he never take his top off in the garden when it's this hot?