How many kids do you have and would you have that number again if you could turn back time?

[Fishandchipsatthebeach]

I’m not asking if you’d have your actual kids with their identities again. But would you have the same number again if you could start your family from scratch?

I have one and love having one. She’s only five though so my views could change

1. On the fence. Would maybe have liked 3 but I would have had a gender preference where I didn't with 2.

i'm be got 3. 2 quite young and then a 12 year gap and my baby came along. I wished I'd have had him earlier and had 1 more. That 12 year gap we were busy working and building up our finances. Now we are comfortable i wished i had 1 more.

Have 5
would of had more but better spaced out I think!

2 but still pregnant with no. 2. So cant really comment

I have 3. If I'd known the financial situation that we would end up in then I probably would have stopped at 2, maybe even 1. But I love having 3 kids so I'm kinda glad that I was blindly optimistic and am just figuring shit out instead 😂

None.

I have 2. Would probably have none

I have 2.5

Third one is currently cooking and due in December.

I am very happy with my decision.

My son is 3 years old and my daughter is 1 1/2 years old.

I am 36 years old, that's why I keep pushing them out at the rate that I do 😀

3 DCs
Spanning from ages 4-13. Never a dull moment. No regrets yet.

Have 2, would have 2 again.

Considered 3 when they were small, but 2 is just right for me and DH.

I grew up as 1 of 5.
We were definitely not financially very well off, but I would say lower middle class. We never went in fancy holidays or had fancy cars, but never hungry or didn't have money for shoes or school trips or whatever that some of my poorer friends struggle with.
We shared rooms. My eldest sister had her own room. My sister and I shared a room and my 2 brothers shared a room.
(FYI when I went to varsity I missed having someone in my room so much) I lived in a dormitory and used to keep my room door open at night just to feel less alone😂)

Holidays - you just go on cheaper holidays. Camping for example. Camping as a family of 4 or a family of 6 or 7 are the same price. You pay for the stand. You don't do holidays abroad for example.

Also people think 1 child cost x amount of money, 2 costs x times 2. And then 5 must cost x times 5. Which isn't true. Economy of scale. You pass down tennis rackets, clothes etc. You don't ever really have more than 2 or three in the same stage. So by the time my youngest sister started tennis for example, she played with my child racket and I had already moved on to the bigger size. So we really had very similar amounts of stuff to a 2 kid household.

Its a bit of a fallacy that people with larger families need to have way more money. I'd bet my bottom dollar most families with 2, that say they can't afford a 3rd or 4th, would easily manage it. They just think they can't.

I'm married with my own kids now. We have 2 and I just found out this morning that I'm pregnant with our third! (I'm terribly excited and grateful! Haven't even told dh yet, still thinking of how! Any ideas.?? We were ttc for about 5 months so he'll be so please! Haha sorry not the point of the thread at all, but I'm bursting a bit as I've told no one!)

Anyway wanted to say I had a blast growing up and would love a large family myself!
My husband is one of 2. And he also wants to have a large family now. I think seeing us as we grow up and bond as adults has also influenced him in a way. He sees the 'busy' holidays we have and I think he doesn't want his 'quiet' childhood for his kids. Ie when they were on holiday and his sister read a book there was no one to play with, whereas with us, there was always someone willing to play! 😂

Anyway I guess it depends on people's own experience s growing up!

1, and I'd have 0 if I could go back.

I've actually heard that stats of the amount of kids in a family has stayed pretty similar. So if there were 20% of families that had 4 children, there's roundabout that same %now. Same with 4 or 5 or whatever. Apparently it is the mount of childless women that are responsible for the decline in birthrate. If that makes sense. So women that choose to have children roughly have about the same they would have years ago. But the amount of women not having kids are rising. Also, apparently most of the women in that category (childless) are not by choice. I think it's some 80% of childless women that are so involuntary. So it's women that focused on a career and left babies too late and then subsequently couldn't have or women that didn't find the right partner or right time and then it was just too late.
So yeah more factors conspiring against them like you said. Anyway I found that stts so interesting. I, like you assumed, women are having less and less children.

Would have liked 3 DCs, have just the one.
I had DS at 38 due to meeting DH quite late. I had really prioritised settling down and starting a family by my late 20s, but sadly it took me a while to find the right guy. Had a few shortish relationships that didn't go the distance, and a "big" relationship in which my ex flip-flopped about whether or not he wanted marriage and kids.
I would really have loved a bigger family but I sadly lost time at a critical juncture. I could technically TCC for another now (am 40) but my marriage has been really badly strained by some adverse events in the past few years, including DH having a mental breakdown ... Feels a bit irresponsible to throw a newborn into the mix at the moment and I'm worried about my age. Having babies in quick succession later in life only works if everything else is hunky dory, and it my case it just isn't.... Sigh...
I absolutely love being a mum and am extremely grateful for the one child I do have. I may look at ways to be a move involved aunty, or to volunteer with kids (eg Brownies, Sunday school, mentoring) in years to come in order to share some of my extra "capacity" rather than dwelling on my disappointment.
Nice to hear from mums on here that have big families and are loving it - children are a blessing!

Have 3, would have had another if house size/ finances allowed
3 is good though

I have two. Would have loved 3 but we struggled with secondary infertility which means there is a v big gap between them. DP doesn’t want anymore as can’t face the cycle of trying/pregnant/MC again. I also think I would be overestimating my abilities as a parent with 3 probably.

I am pregnant with second.

I always said I wanted none or 2. No more.

I can’t bring myself to say I wish i’d had none has i can’t say that I wish my son wasn’t around. But I was much happier before. Life is a constant exhausting battle.

1 and honestly either 0 or 2 close together.

1 but would've liked 2. And I have 1 grandchild (7) who is probably going to be an only child too but I understand dds and son in laws reasons for stopping at one. I would've loved another grandchild but it is what it is, I've plenty of time to treasure the one we've been blessed with.

I have one, I only ever wanted one. I was over 40 when I had him, if I have any regrets it's that we didn't conceive when we were younger, but he'd still be an only one.

Have three but wish I’d started sooner and had 4, but was 41 when number 3 came along and it would have been selfish to risk it again.

I don't have any and if I had my time again I still wouldn't have any.

I have 1 and I'm really happy with it.

I have 3. If I knew then what I know now I’d have stopped at 1.

I have 5, wanted 6, would do it again just with a different man.